This post is my personal continuation of “I’ll Hit But I Won’t Make You Wifey”
Anyone that knows me pretty well knows that one of my favorite movies of all time is Boomerang staring Eddie Murphy. The movie is deep on so many levels(black professionalism, black social images, racism, career, etc.). The movie is misunderstood by many critics. This was because much of mainstream society at the time (1992) couldn’t conceive the dynamic of the black professional. But I digress. I was so addicted to the movie at one point that my whole crew in college had our own slang with terms from the movie.
The main plot of the film revolves around Eddie Murphy’s character Marcus Graham and his trials and tribulations has he searches to find “the one”. The thing about Marcus Graham is that he isn’t just the normal guy searching for the one. He is looking for perfection. Marcus is ultra picky when it comes to his women. He is a stickler with everything from intelligence to if she has “hammer time” in her shoe. Marcus excuses his womanly exploits on the women not being up to par but neglects to realize his quench for more “Nuncie”(yeah thats my word for pussy). Not to spoil the movie for those who haven’t seen it but the crux of the movie is “For the dog that chases his tail will be dizzy.”
Now you are probably asking what does this have to do with this writer. Well….I suffer from the Marcus Graham Syndrome. Please don’t judge me and please studio audience don’t throw any tomatoes at me!!!
I will not say its to the extreme of Marcus Graham in Boomerang but I suffer from it nonetheless.Just like Marcus I have a low tolerance for ugly feet on women and found myself nitpicking at women. I would sometimes damn near even be real flighty in my likes of a woman. As my homegirl says “Nigga you aint picky you send bitches through a gauntlet.”
The Marcus Graham Condition is something a lot of professional black men such as Marcus Graham are afflicted with. Let’s keep it funky proportion wise there are more professional black women than men. So in many facets we can afford to be picky and thorough in our feminine choices. Often times us professional black men take advantage of it consciously or unconsciously. Now I am not gonna excuse black women for making bad dating choices but I understand the problem nonetheless.
Through soul-searching and self-reflection I realized that my standards maybe too damn high. Maybe my future wifey isn’t going to love The Wire, Blue Moon and Bobby Brown as much as I do. You know what its cool that they maybe not have all the things on my checklist. Maybe their hair doesn’t have to flow a particular way or maybe she doesn’t have to be interested in certain books. I understand that complementing someone is learning from the differences from your mate. I mean really would I want to date a woman who was just as much as an asshole as myself?
I look back on my long and I would have to say “illustrious” time in the dating game(they will retire my jersey when or if I get married) that I have dated many quality women but I can honestly say my longest consistent relationship was a year and a half. If being in a relationship was like jail time I would be just a repeat offender of drunk driving other many others will have served time with a felony
I am going to take more self-evaluation into my dating choices and maybe not be so hard on women. I am going to work on this damn Marcus Graham Condition I tell ya. But, I know one thing I will never waver on a woman having “hammer time” in their shoe.
This is the first of many blogs where I will talk about my strives to reform my Marcus Grahamness…Check out more in the series “The Marcus Graham Chronicles”
- When Doves Cry: Personal Accountability In Relationships (brendolynmarie.com)
- The New Year Shouldn’t Be The Only Time For Change (ashy2classy.net)
- Neither Black Man Nor Black Woman: Living On The Outside (racialicious.com)
- New Video Blog: Why Is It So Difficult for Black Men to Commit (wisdomismisery.com)
- Ask Nikki True-Do Black Women Know Their Worth? (nikkitrue.com)
- Open Friday: I Love Him and He Doesn’t Know (ashy2classy.net)