One of the newest topics being tossed around in relationship round-tables, discussions, blogs, and articles is that you should know your mates financial situation before marrying them. Simply put, everyone should know about their partners past spending habits. Why? Because finances end the majority of marriages. Many financial advisers and relationships experts plead with people to know their mates CREDIT SCORE before deciding to jump the broom with them. Knowing this about your mate is fine and dandy (and yes, important) but maybe the bigger question we should be asking is “What is Your Relationship Credit Score?”
What is a Relationship Credit Score? A Relationship Credit Score measures your ability to be a healthy contributor in a relationship. This entails many different variables such as character issues within oneself and the way a person treats their partner. I came up with a quantifiable (but not absolute) way of determining where a you may stand when it comes to your potential for being involved in a healthy relationship. No relationship is perfect, by any means, but some people have developed traits that will make them more successful in a relationship. Just like a real Credit Score you can improve your score with self reflection and working hard to become a better mate.
Within our capitalistic society we have progressed where monetary situations falsely making us happy. I wont get into my thoughts on how finances destroy our relationships because I do agree that people should know the others finances – with a twist. Is it not more important to understand a person’s Relationship Credit Score? Think about it – isn’t that really what you’re diving head long into?
Since we should be running marriages and relationships as a business (I dare you to debate me on marriage not being a business) then we need to consider the progression of a relationship and look at it objectively, not just emotionally. Wouldn’t you like to know a persons emotional debt to income ratio?
In my post “Soul Mate or Just a Mate” a lot of people debated (and questioned) the idea of “the one” in that there is only one person in the world meant/made for us. I decided to continue down that road a bit and delve into 1) Who we are (truly) and 2) At our present state, what is our capacity for being with someone…The Relationship Credit Score.
Self-reflection is vital in becoming a better person and learning from this journey we call life. We can sit around all day and criticize everyone else’s ill dating habits but how do we know where we stand in a relationship? Zo Williams describes a relationship as a mirror that will reflect back to us all the things we need to fix about ourselves. In essence, we need to see who we are and where we stand in accordance to building a healthy, fulfilling relationship. The reason many of stay single or aren’t able to be happy in a relationship is our inability to look into the mirror that relationships show us. Why do I do this? Why do I treat her like this? Why is it I can’t find a “good man”? We need to look inwardly, rather then always looking outside of our personal situations to solve many of our problems.
Now, get out a pen and piece of paper. Seriously, this won’t take long. Below you’ll find a list of categories and questions. Ask yourself, “From a scale of 1-10 how do I uphold this ideal?” Start marking your answers and add up the points. After you’re done you’ll have your Relationship Credit Score. Keep in mind, this only works if you’re being completely honest with yourself. If not, how can you learn about yourself when it comes to your deficiencies and shortcomings in relationships?
Each question is worth 10 points. There are a total of 20 questions (for men and women). A perfect Relationship Credit Score is 200.
- How Many Open Accounts Do You Have (How many unresolved relationships do you have out there?)
- Dependability (How dependable are you?)
- Respect (How much do you respect others?)
- Emotional Stability (How strong is your emotional ability to cope with the good times and bad times?)
- Financial Capability (How much are your finances together and/or how much are you working towards your goals? If you aren’t working towards anything and just woofing keep that in mind)
- Gentleman/Lady likeness (How are you able to present and carry yourself in a respectable manner?)
- Loyalty (How much is your commitment to the person in the good times and in bad times?)
- Compassion(How caring, understanding are you?)
- Knowledge(What is your capacity and wiliness to learn?)
- Self-Consciousness (How much are you aware of yourself and the things you need to work on about your being?)
- Communication(How effective are you at communicating with your mate?)
- Adaptability (How much are you able to compromise and adapt to differences between you and your mate?)
- Infidelity(How much are you able to stay physically committed to someone?)
- Emotional Capacity (How much are you able to stay emotional committed to your partner?)
- Baggage (How much do you bring past relationship ups/downs into new situations?)
- Unconditional Love(How much you can love someone for being who they are, without them having to change?)
- Sexual Styling(How much are you able to open your mind to sexual endeavors to satisfy your mate-this is all within reason?)
- Positive Energy (How much do you hold on to negative vibes and feelings?)
For Men Only
- Hood Rat Factor(How much have you sexed wallowed other woman and want to continue to do so?)
- Kingmanship (How much are you able to be lead a family fairly, honorably and diligently?)
For Women Only
- Debt to IN-Cum Ration (How many miles do you have on the NONCIE)?
- Wifey Duties(How much do you embody the ability to hold down a man and a home?)
After tabulating your numbers what is your Relationship Credit Score? Have you learned some things you may need to work on?