My last post on marriage “When Are We Going to Learn Marriage Isn’t For Everyone” had a lot of people buzzing on what the concept of marriage was. I spoke about how the idea of marriage may not be meant for everyone regardless of how much a person “wants” to. The idea was that most people aren’t capable and fully equipped to be in a marriage because the marriage game is a different monster to tackle. I have decided to take that post even further from a satirical and comical angle.
Have you ever thought about how marriage has been regulated to a business? Marriage is more than just saying I do, holding hands, running under rice, and have the cans and signed saying “Just Married” on the back of it. We really do conduct relationships more like two corporations coming together than union of two people. We have alimony, child support, the court-house, pre-nups, and the government dictating much of what goes on within relationships just as much as the people. So, I came up with a novel theory…Marriages should be like NBA Contracts. When I first thought of this concept and/or statement I was saying it in comedy or jest to be funny. But, as I began to think about it I saw that maybe the idea wasn’t as crazy as it seemed.
The institution of marriage has evolved and changed over time. Marriage in the past was conducted more as joining two aristocratic families together, dowries, and extend legacy. It has become a new concept and idea that LOVE is the enduring factor in marriage. We have romanticized the idea of marriage because of what we see from movies, grandparents, and history. Marriage today is more of a business just as much or ever more than just about love…Yeah I said it!
Think about this…If Marriage is so much about the LOVE then why is marriage dictated by the courthouse and government instead of the couple so much. If it’s not a business why are most of facets marriages already contractual on paper? And if the marriage dissolves why is money one of the bearing factors? Money is regardless of what we want to believe is a major reason most unions break. So, why don’t we do it more like a business? In today’s society we are more than ever engulfed in the ME culture. Since this is a part of the way most people in society conduct themselves we have to coalesce with this. Why don’t we have contracts for those people who are enamored at all costs to be married regardless of their marriage competency?
Marriage is a BUSINESS!…
NBA rookie contracts are 3-5 years guaranteed with an option for the fifth year and then you can re-sign or become a free-agent thereafter. Stay with me here…can we do the same thing in our marriages. Let’s sign on the dotted line for 5 years of marriage and we will do the best we can and after the 5 years we can come back to the table and negotiate the things we would like to improve in the relationship or you can opt out and become a free agent. To mitigate the aspect of children and assets they can go to probate court (just like they do now). I even have a name for it why don’t we call it a RE-UP kind of on the same principles of the pre-nuptial agreement. But, in this case it would be a re-nuptial agreement.
Don’t hate on my idea of the re-up think about it 15 years ago the idea of the pre-nuptial agreement was foreign and now a days its more common place right?
Could a contract make people be even more accountable in their relationships? The separations would still be hurtful but you would know that the person had the right to leave at the end of their contract and go somewhere. It would put a lot of onus on ourselves of self-accountability to ourselves and to our mate if we knew they could leave after their contract was up.
I laugh to think about people being like Lebron James and having “The Decision” when it comes to their marriage. It may go a little like this…
Reporter: “So, James who will you be with next year?”
James : (sighs) ” I will be leaving Tanya taking my money, talents, cars, and house to Seattle and be with Pamela Johnson.”
Tanya: “Thats Okay I was taking my talents to Boston and be with Marcus anyway.”
In all seriousness the point of this whole motif if marriages needing to be like NBA contracts is the idea that we only think about marriage as a business when the marriage begins to falter or fail. If we don’t want marriage treated as a business why is the government so involved in our relationships?
Why do we involve contractual situations in marriage so much? Let the love be the love. Why go to the court-house to settle your marital disputes? One may say well I go to the court-house because I don’t trust that the other person is going to do right. Then I ask this question if this is the case…Why are you marrying this person if you feel you are going to need to get the court-house or government involved to settle your disputes?
The institution of marriage has changed over the last 50 years regardless if we want to believe it or not. Are we going to adapt to the new times we live in or are we going to try to stay steadfast with potentially outdated traditions? These posts are meant to ish on love but maybe make us all think introspectively about this tradition and what it means to us. We have to sometimes evaluate if what we do or believe is truly in alignment with who we are. Or is it we are living just to satisfy some ideology influenced by some social template.
Am I crazy in my thoughts?? Speak Your peace!!