As we all sift through this potential cesspool called the relationship game their can be much heartbreak and pain. We all have our rules, standards, and regulations of what we will and what we won’t put up with. Everyone also has their “fool proof” rules or standards for relationships. One of those debates that many people have is if men and women can be close friends without any sexual interaction or want of physical interaction to happen.
Well the newly crowned “Black Relationship Expert” Mr. Steve Harvey feels that men can’t be friends with women especially if they are attractive (peep after the jump)…..
I will say this first before I go into the topic at hand and I don’t bring this as any disrespect or hate because he does have some truths in things he says but …LADIES, STEVE HARVEY DOES NOT SPEAK FOR ALL MEN…HE ONLY SPEAKS FOR SOME MEN.
To me it women and men not being able to be friends is the most asinine thing to me. So, I am only supposed to build and cultivate friendships only with men? I think that it is weak of an individual to say they cannot become friends with someone. It’s like someone saying they can’t become friends with someone because they are Black, White, Asian, etc. Just because men like Steve Harvey have to set conduct themselves around women like they are rehabbing off heroine doesn’t mean all men have that moniker or move in that fashion.
When I am talking about women and men being friends I am not just talking about woman you are casually cool with but women you have known for years and are just as much as your friends as your male counterparts. I hear people particularly in relationships say “Men Can’t Be Friends With Women” and “Don’t trust your man/woman around their so-called friend”. I understand from the male perspective when most women only say that they don’t like your friendship with a woman is when the woman is actually attractive. If the woman was a sea donkey and spit up water every 30 minutes they wouldn’t care what kind of friendship you had with them because they aren’t a threat to them.
Personally I have male and female friends all over the since I have lived and worked in a myriad of places. I have some very close female friends that I have known for years and have never done anything with them sexually. And these relationships aren’t the Chris Rock type female friends where I am trying to be the emergency dick in the glass (I can’t sit here and front like I don’t have any though…because I do…). These woman are really the homie and I wouldn’t want to over step that boundary just for a piece of ass. A man can be disciplined in his actions we aren’t just an uncaged beast that cannot make conscious decisions. For the most part they haved respected my relationships(except for the drunken night “I Got Called Nigger In A Cab”) and I have respect theirs.
I am not naive to believe that a couple or person should have their boundaries when it comes to their friends when having a relationship. I can understand this moniker a bit more when it comes to former lovers but when it comes to two people who are platonic friends is a different case. In general I feel we are too safe guarded and pinned up in our relationships. We have a tendency to blame any in discrepancy in ourselves or in our relationship on another thing than the thing that actually is affecting it. We love to not look inwardly at the problems the relationship maybe having.
I have heard woman say that they are safe-guarding their relationship by insisting their man doesn’t have any friends of the opposite sex (along with a myriad other “rules”). Men do the same thing in their jealousy or “regulation” of their mate’s friends. I will let all the ladies know this and I will keep this plain and simple….There is nothing you can do to keep your man from cheating if he wants to. It comes down to his own personal choice to make the right or wrong decision. This goes for men as well because if your wifey wants to creep on you there is nothing you can do to “prevent it”. The only way you can prevent it is to work on your relationship not get jealous or upset about your mate’s opposite sex friendship.
In a situation like this I think of a quote from Robert Anton Wilson “As the thinker thinks. The prover will prove.” This quote basically means if we believe something so much that our mind will figure out a way to prove it is true. We can conjure problems in our head that may not exist instead of finding the real problem within ourselves and our relationships. A jealous mate in general will do nothing over time but push the person away over time. And when it comes to the mate’s long-term female/male best friend you have to remember that they where there before you and 9 out of 10 times will be there if you leave so you might as well get in where you fit in at the end of the day.
Can Men Just Be Friends With Women? Can You Accept Your Mates Friend of the Opposite Sex? Speak Your Piece!
- Women, Stop Complaining About Men Following Our D*cks – Because It Lead Us To YOU (thisisyourconscience.com)
- Steve Harvey plagued by scandal as ‘Think Like a Man’ is set to open (thegrio.com)
- Do Men Have Better Friendships Than Women? (nwso.net)
- 10 Reasons Why You’re In His Friend Zone (halloftheblackdragon.com)
- Believe It Or Not Ladies, Your Man WISHES You WERE His Best Friend (thisisyourconscience.com)