After the Orgasm: A Man’s Moment of Clarity

Every man’s romantic journey can take many twists and turns along with intervals of hills and valleys. There are many moments in a relationship where a man decides what kind of relationship he wants to carry on with a woman. In an earlier post “I’ll Hit But I Won’t Make You Wifey” I mention a small part of the way some men will compartmentalize women. Though a man may pre-judge a woman upon meeting her of what type of relationship he wants with her. There is a moment that he has the most clarity of what kind of relationship he wants to carry on with the woman. As comical as this may sound it is true but the biggest moment of clarity for a man is right after he has an orgasm.

Right now many men (and some women) are probably laughing at this statement while some women maybe perplexed. The theory of a man’s moment of clarity right after the orgasm can’t really be quantified or explained. There is something about right after a man has an orgasm that the world becomes somewhat clearer to him.

This moment of clarity can last anywhere between 3-5 minutes. During this “moment” a man can damn near figure out the cure for cancer, reorganize the nation’s budget, and make improvements on Einstein’s theory of relativity. I have known men who have come up with a great idea for their thesis, solved the accounting problem at their job, and even figured out a way to remodel their home. But, besides all those things one of the things a man can think about during this “moment of clarity” is the dynamic of romantic relationships.

I heard a man one time when I was on the train talking to his friend say, “I  hate to see a chick see me cumming. That’s why I like to hit it from the back so they can’t see me in my vulnerable state after cumming”.

Though what it he said was very trite what he said did have much merit to it. When a man climaxes is the time when he is the most vulnerable which is why he can maybe have this moment of clarity.

Right after the orgasm especially during the early stages of the relationship a man will begin to start to decipher their true feelings for a woman. During this chemical interaction and its “climax” he can see the relationship for what he really wants out of it. There have been many a situation where a woman has moved up (and subsequently moved down) in a man’s eyes because during his moment of clarity there was something that didn’t sit right with him. This is one of the times he can survey the relationship for the good and bad. I can’t explain particularly what happens but during this 3-5 interval he can evaluate the relationship.

He may say these things to himself during his “Moment of Clarity”:

“Am I really diggin her?”

“Do I Love Her?”

“She really isn’t wifey material.”

“This chick really gets on my damn nerves.”

“I think I can see a future for us.”

“I hate this b**ch BUT…I LOVE HER.”

This moment of clarity is like an uncontrolled beacon of conscious thought. Like I have said earlier this moment of clarity for a man isn’t just limited to relationships and love. Every time this window of thought is open he doesn’t always have these deep thoughts about the relationship it’s a crap shoot of sorts. He may go from deciphering quantum physics to figure out one time to trying to figure out how they can make it possible for Carmelo Anthony to be traded to the Knicks. During the time this mental portal is open he may even start thinking about how much more he may want to be with another woman. I know it may sound ill but it comes with the territory of “The Moment of Clarity”.

This “Moment of Clarity” isn’t 100% clear thoughts. It’s not like he can’t be wrong within his thoughts. It’s just that he may think these thoughts are his true feelings. He may need to sort out his thoughts more but the spark of the thought may come from that moment of clarity.

One may ask, “Why does sex have so much bearing in this “Moment of Clarity?”.

I agree that it shouldn’t, but sadly for some men it really does. I have written before (Girl, You Aint Fly It’s Your Nonice) how women and sex can control many men. Don’t get me wrong it is not the only time a man has deeper thoughts but it is comical how that moment is a bastion of deeper thought. I am not advocating that the sex is the most important thing in the relationship BUT that orgasm is a BIG deal for a man. He needs to have that peace and quiet while he winds down from the thronxing and let the subconscious thoughts come to his conscious mind. This is why some he needs that space… he may not want to talk he may want to get in his thoughts and enjoy the 3-5 after moments of his orgasm.

During the “Moment of Clarity” a woman really can’t do much to influence his thoughts (except being a willing participant to help him reach his “moment”). The best thing I can suggest for a woman is just to leave him at peace during this period and maybe even make him a ham sandwich. I know my thoughts always have even better clarity when my belly is full, too. You better do what you can why your man is in his vulnerable state. He might be able to sort out your tax problems and tell you he loves you all at the same time.

For more  realism and laughs check out “Straight Outta Lo Cash” Podcast. You can subscribe to the show on I-Tunes or listen on your Android, I-Phone, or I-Pad with Stitcher Radio.


47 responses to “After the Orgasm: A Man’s Moment of Clarity

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  2. I am going to give you the grown man handshake of the week for this post! thank you for speaking on men’s behave on this! i hope ladies are really thinking about what you are saying within the humor of this post!

  3. Sex can just bring about so much. Many conversations and like you said ideas. Reflection!

    It’s all about the common goal at the end. Reaching it is the best, no matter if you’ve been there earlier. Well I guess that means you had a really deep day of thoughts then. LOL

  4. Wow! I haven’t really thought about the moments after the orgasm, but I’m going to reflect on this “moment of clarity” tonight to be able to think more profoundly about it. Lmbo! It does seem like there is a great moment of clarity after the orgasm that lasts for a short period of time, but I’m going to consciously think about it tonight as I engage in this serious intellectual and physically stimulating act. Lmbo!

  5. Wow…you know I’ve never even thought of it that way. Damn you men have so much to you that we as women are still trying to learn. Now anytime I see a man cumming I’m gonna think he’s sizing me up. Lmao…GREAT POST!!!

  6. This is really interesting, I’ll give you that…. But I do wonder at the validity of this theory… Are you compiling this from stories from your friends? Does this mainly happen ONLY after orgasm? Not to say it isn’t possible, but to figure out a way to stop world hunger because you “got it in” is majorly impressive, Lol. I mean hell, there are millions of men having an orgasm RIGHT NOW, so where are these miracles derived from there moments of clarity? Lol.

    “The best thing I can suggest for a woman is just to leave him at peace during this period and maybe even make him a ham sandwich.” <— A moment of clarity usually indicates personal understanding of something. If this really IS the case, a ham sandwich isn't going to change anything. But I did get a good laugh from that statement. Lol.

  7. Oh boy,

    1). I always thought men lost all ability post orgasm. I wasn’t aware you all were doing any thinking at all. LOL

    2). I’m not a man, but I think that men decide what they want from a woman they’re dating way before it even gets to the sex part. That’s why I wait a minimum of four months before I sleep with a man. If all he really wanted was sex from me, he’s not going to date me/court me for a whole four months without sex. If he’s interested in a relationship however, he most definitely will wait and I doubt that after that first orgasm with me he’ll suddenly decide he doesn’t want me in that “moment of clarity.” Not impossible, but I doubt it.

    3). I do however know that women do a lot of thinking post orgasm as well. That’s why we have a tendency to talk so damn much afterwards, we’re thinking! LOL

    I’ve definitely had that moment post orgasm where I looked at the guy and thought…

    -“I wish he would go the hell home.”
    -“Yeah, I’m never sleeping with him again.”
    -“Was that it?”
    -“I love this man.”
    -“Yeah he definitely has boyfriend potential.”
    -“To the ‘special friend’ category you go”

    4). And I don’t care about all the genius that is spewing from your pores post orgasm, if it was wack, there will be no ham sandwich, breakfast in bed or any of that. LOL

    You are crazy. Interesting post.


    • I agree with your points accept for two…a man will hold out whatever amount of time if he thinks you are worth hittin. Don’t put a time constraint on things thinking a man has certain intentions. Just because we not hittin you don’t mean we aint gettin nothin on the sideline until you are ready to “deliver the goods”

      • Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute.

        Yeah you will hold out for however long, but you won’t hold out AND put in a lot of effort dating us right?

        So for example, if ALL you want is sex and I’m making you wait, you’re not gonna spend money on me, take me on dates, bring me flowers, meet my parents, etc.

        So when I refuse to have sex early on I can usually tell which ones aren’t seriously interested in me. Yeah they may call or text and keep things friendly, but after about a month they stop calling me to see if they can take me to dinner and a movie.

        I’m just in protection mode. Trying to make sure that when I do have sex with a man, his “moment of clarity” about me is “This woman is amazing/relationship material.”

        And I don’t really care if a guy is having sex with someone else while we are casually dating. Once we make it official that’s when it has to stop.

        See this is why I’m just gonna be gay. I understand woman. I can’t be trying to figure you men out. It’s exhausting. LMAO ….”Moment of Clarity” smh

        -Victoria (again)

  8. Boy boy boy,
    Just when I didnt care anymore and chose to ride the wave, here you come with this very insightful bit of information. Thinking back on the current and relationships of the past, I could see how the ‘moment of clarity’ theory (as I will call it) is possible.

    Men whilst you may not be a delicate creature, you still have moments too (touching on the vulnerability part). Bump the ham sammich, he’d get a three cheese omelet.



  9. This post made me think of that scene in Boomerang when they’re at the gym and they are discussing Marcus’ behavior toward women after he has sex with them. Oh, and where in the world did the word “thronxing” come from? LOL! Was I the only one that caught that? Seriously, good post.

  10. Personally, I think women have this moment too. An orgasm sort of ‘releases’ our stress, pressure, anger or what have you & that leads to a clear mind or thoughts. I think a woman’s “moment of clarity” just lasts a little longer than the 3-5 minutes. ;)

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  13. So true! sometimes i fap for a girl. imagine “us” in this moments and see if i have any regrets for it after. If i feel totally ok then i go after her some more. it’s a time your body feels really satisfied thus is not effected anything like sexual desires, attractiveness.. like a girl’s make up wont interfere your decision or her “manipulating powers” doesnt make any difference.. you are totally free from your body’s desires. so you can think more clearly of other things which are more important to you than what sex can offer.

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  16. It takes a real man to tell a woman the revelation he has after he experiences this “moment of clarity” instead of stringing her along when he already know what the deal is. Especially if the woman he just had a “moment of clarity” with can handle the truth and she is geniuine person that doesnt ask for anything from anyone and is trying create her own got damn empire.

    • sn: “i felt a surge of “angry black woman” I meant what I said though. We’re not real enough with each other because we’re not real enough with ourselves. Our communication has to get better. It’s essential to our growth and well being

      Men, if the theory is true, then keep it real with the woman and let her know any realizations you have once you’ve made up your mind. If it isnt then….it isnt.

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  18. Men should realize that women have this too. And it’s insulting to assume that every woman is a chatter box after sex. I for one would love it if my man would shut the hell up every once in a while. That goes for cuddling too.

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  21. i just had a moment of clarity, so then i went on google to see if i can find anything about this because it always happens to me and other guys i know. ended up here, great post
    Men should always make their decisions after they orgasm

  22. I know exactly what you mean but I think I know why it happens too. It’s when the chase is over. When you are trying to get in it, you are focused on one thing, getting it in that chick. Testosterone at its max, adrenaline flowing, senses maxed out- then boom! Mission accomplished. That’s when all sex drive thought stops and logical, clear thought commences. It’s like lil’ Wayne said “it’s like as soon as I cum, I come to my senses.” This is also the moment the guilt slams you when you cheat. Thoughts like “was it worth it?” , “why did I do this, I could of just gotten off with my girl.” Anyways, that’s my take on the “moment of

  23. So let’s say in his supposed “moments of clarity,” he takes that time to make out with you for a whole three to five min while still holding onto you/laying on you. Would you say his thought would be “I love you!!” lol

  24. Was this really a secret? Do women really not know that men focus better after orgasm? It’s not a 3-5 minute window post-intercourse, it’s more like an hour or more post-orgasm (sex or masturbation). Our dicks get smaller when we’re cold too. How is this not common knowledge?

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