Last week I was honored to have a guest post from Jamala Mete (@SimplyMilele) entitled “Why Can’t You Change a Ho Into a Housewife”. The post had a great discussion on everything from a woman being virginal to the double standard of men being able to sow their wild oats and women not being able to. I actually agree with Jamala in her post that a man CAN change a Ho into a housewife but the fact of the matter is a lot of this changing as to do with a man’s ego.
The moniker “You Can’t Change a Ho into a Housewife” comes from the pimps and playas. The term ho itself was one regulated for the pimps and prostitutes not the square world. But, since we are becoming more embedded in society the term “ho” and “hoish” actions have spilled over into the square sector of life. What they meant by the saying is that a woman who has been on the track (prostituting) cannot by reformed because she will always have that itch to go make money and prostitute. The idea is that the woman or “ho” would always belong to “the game”. (I actually learned some of this and a lot more “The Night Bishop Don Juan Taught Me Some things about Love”)
The idea of what a ho is so subjective and depends on the man’s values, ego, and acceptance. There is a big difference between a woman display whorish behavior and a woman who is expressing themselves sexually. I was asked what number is too many men that a woman can have sex with before you consider her a ho and “unhousewifable”? I am actually pretty liberal in the terms of how many men a woman could have slept with. I know there are some brothas who think that anything over the number 1(or insert whatever number they feel) is too many. I really don’t have much of an issue with what a woman has done in her past but I understand that the changing a “ho into a housewife” may only be able to be applied in theory.
There are a few things I feel are that can be deemed as things that would constitute a woman being a ho and don’t being able to upgrade to “housewife status” or as I like to call it wifey status. My reasons range from the things my ego cannot handle to what I feel are character flaws.
Getting a Train Ran on You by the North Carolina Starting 5
This should be self-exp
lanatory but I will delve into this idea a bit. The college experience was one that was grandiose and I learned a lot about myself and the world. One of the biggest thing I learned in college was I WOULD NEVER TAKE A WOMAN SERIOUSLY WHO HAD A TRAIN(Train- A woman having multiple partners in the same night back to back within a few hour period) RAN ON THEM. I just can’t do it between the football team, basketball team, frat boys, and just plain old Joe Blows on campus I cannot swallow the notion that the chick I am dealing with was clutching multiple dicks at the same time scatting on them like Ella Fitzgerald. How do you look like rolling through the mall holding hands with the chick cats call…”the defensive back”
Sleeping with Multiple Boys in My Crew
This one is a touchy situation. I understand especially with the world being our oyster the likelihood of friends dating the same person has drastically increased than in the past. We all may end up in a situation where some friends may have dated a woman before us. A woman can be attracted to more than one of the homies and maybe even smashed one but the thing I cannot come to grips with if you have tiddlywinked with multiple dudes in my circle. How you gonna talk to your boys about certain stuff and they all sitting there asking you did she do “The Smurf”. Even worse would be if she never has done “The Smurf” and you don’t know what the hell it is.…see my point.
A Woman who has been on the Track
This dives right into the reason the term from the pimps “You can’t change a Ho into a Housewife” comes into play. I cannot grasp my mind around the aspect that my lady was on Hookers at the Point in ’99 or Pimpin Ken’s “bottom bitch”(bottom bitch- A pimp’s main whore or main lady). I understand the reason and maybe even have need for prostitution or strippers but do I want to be with a woman who has the “track mentality”. A woman who has prostituted her body (throw in stripper, por
n star, or any woman who sleeps with men for personal or financial gain) has a different perspective on life. Many prostitutes and strippers look at a man as nothing more than a trick. A woman in that game has been socialized to look at men as john’s or tricks. Can a woman who has been in the game for years turn that off the idea of wanting money or looking at me as just a means to an ends? I was always taught if you are a “square” that you should stay in the “square” side of life so I couldn’t see myself changing someone in to the “square biz” that doesn’t really have “square biz” in them.
I mean you have to admit I am pretty care-free and open about what I deem as ho right? The reasons I really don’t dig any of these ideals at the end of the day has to do with the woman’s favorability at making bad life decisions. There reasons aren’t too bad for not wanting to turn a ho into a housewife right?
What do you think about my thoughts about changing a Ho into a Housewife?
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I can do nothing but applaud you for this post! I would have a few more scallywags I would add but yours suffices enough
Le sigh!!!!!!!!!!!!! I hope your dick is prestine as hell.. all the mess you talk
Its crazy you say that because I clean my penis a lot and continutally stay away from the ratchet women. I may get a little slob and knob but dip around with them is totally different thing when dealing with these boppers
lol
*Applause* Very nicely put. I agree. And I feel that those things that make a woman “not wifey material” make a man “not husband material”. As long as it is fair on both sides Im all for it. I really have never cared who the man has been with as long as they’ve been safe. Now I don’t really care for a man who is blantant with his business. I want a little mystery too.
And I’d not be with a man who disrespects other women. I dont care who she is or if I even know her. But as long as what’s good for the goose is also good for the gander Im satisfied.
Good piece!
Kudos on this one!! You have an open-minded on women’s sexuality as you would say…within reason…lol
What about men they cane be hoish and even more whorish than women!!
This post wasn’t a gender biased post. I agree than men can be hoes just as well but the topic was making a ho into a housewife. Maybe sometime I will have Jamala write a post on making a No into a husband.
Props for dropping this post and giving truth for the men out here! Keep droppin this science D!
I’m debating where should I start..
Ho’s and housewives have been floating around for a while now. Seem to be hot topics. I’m a believer in reform. Reform! Anyone can change.
Satistfy Piece
I have to say… this sounds like a pretty liberal and fair assessment! It seems you’ve covered all your major bases and I’d probably have the same list for myself… … … yep… same list.
Definitely a serious subject… It basically comes down to individuals who are subjective and objective, in addition to character traits (hint: telescope). I think when people understand those foundational elements, it makes the issue of who can and who can not more obvious. It is the same as learning general math and algebra, which makes calculus make a lot more sense. The problem is that people try to figure out calculus before they learn general math and the other math subjects that come before it. A powerful thing. After a series of questions, I know most people better than they know themselves, real talk, real power, real chess playing. A ho who can not convert, is usually a subjective individual who saw somebody else doing something that looked like a good idea, followed them and could not find their way back. A real ho who chose the life intentionally, a curious girl who chose it due to peer pressure, or a dodo who is prone to go back and forth based on feelings similar to hunger. So I guess the question should be, “Can I find a ho to marry and accept who she is, or can I find the ho, who really did not want to be a ho, but she just got caught up in the idea of having a good time, and she needs to be led back, or can I find the dodo ho who is in the life because that is where the wind blew here, which means she will end up back there once the wind from the west blowing east pushes her back to East Boogie.”
You dropped some serious science right here brotha!!! Thanx for this comment!
My ideas aren’t nearly as liberal as yours, but then I’m not looking for a wife. I think it all comes down to the person (or “ho” in question). Love can inspire them to change and be monogamous, faithful life partners, if they really want to. You may have to move to another state (or country, depending on how visual she was), but it could work, I suppose. Being a Christian, I don’t believe in holding people to past mistakes they have moved on from and grown from. We’ve all had less than desirable characteristics or been in the wrong in some way, even if it wasn’t sexually. If you can reconcile yourself to their past and it truly is their past, I say congratulations and good luck.
Is there a difference between a woman who indulged in ‘train action’ and a woman who indulged in ‘menage’ action?
To me, they’re about the same thing…but I know that men have differing opinions when it comes do the menage.
Definitely a difference in both. I can’t speak for all men but the Menage is a beautiful thing…Ever peep the song by Slum Village “Climax”?
I have known some grown-up professional women that have been influenced to do some degrading behavior. This is a very insightful and realistic piece, since I have heard in graphic detail all these Saint Louis stories. It is good to see an intellectual and thoughtful perceptive.
I look at it this way; I wouldn’t want a guy who did anything mentioned on this page, so he should have the same level of expectation with me.
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Tru true
Man you went in! I almost threw my cup at this screen while standing and applauding… It comes down to this, #1 most women don’t realize their own contradictions of what they call a hoe but don’t apply the same logic to themselves. So it’s only but natural that you run across those who don’t feel that they aren’t “unwifeable” based on their past actions. Does an actual number matter? No. And possibly yes.. I don’t think 5 is alot of partners, but if you started having sex at 20, you’re now 25 and you had a boyfriend for 4 years and 8 months of that time. Yeah the numbers matter, because you were out their hoeing. And possibly hooking. So it’s all situational… I feel your true character comes out when you have no obligations or reservations. But!! The number also matters when you are trying to turn a hoe into a housewfie because it tells me about how open/liberal she is. Just as a person, if you’re not respecting enough yourself to know that just because you’re single, you shouldn’t do whatever the hell your heart or twat desires, then I couldn’t think that you’d have a higher respect for me to not do those things as well. So what somebody did in their past is no one elses business but their own, but most card carrying guys would cringe at the thought of being out and about with someone and three of four guys at this same party are whispering back and forth about how they’ve all dropped it off on your girl. Blasphemy!!! Good write though. lol
“but most card carrying guys would cringe at the thought of being out and about with someone and three of four guys at this same party are whispering back and forth about how they’ve all dropped it off on your girl.”
That says it all, right there. Great article, great comment.
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I really like it when folks get together and share thoughts.
Great blog, stick with it!