The New Age Break-Up via Twitter and Facebook

A break-up is never good and is something we all never intend to deal with when we get into a relationship with someone. The end of relationships aren’t as simple as shaking hands with the person and waving good-bye. Many times there are idiotic things people do when in that emotional state. Now with the advent of social media the break-up can be heightened to another level. Not only can you simply just gripe to your friends about your break-up but also to the 1,472 twitter followers you have as well. Welcome to the new age break-up via Twitter and Facebook.

In an earlier tandem post Battle of the Sexes: Social Networking and Relationships we discussed how social networking has made many of us alter the way we look at our relationships in the public domain.  But, right when I think I have seen everything when it comes to social networking scorn between Joe Budden and Esther Baxter makes me shake my head.

If you are unaware the rapper Joe Budden and the video vixen/model Esther Baxter have had a high-profile break-up and beef over twitter the past week. A break-up and a few subliminal shots over twitter no big deal right? The difference with this public break-up is this couple has more than just a few shots. They are dropping bombs on each other. They are  arguing publicly over personal issues within their relationship: infidelity, physical abuse, and pregnancy via the internet. Joe Budden even went as far to make a 6 minute song talking about his ex-girl friend while Esther Baxter does “interviews” with online gossip sites such as Bossip. If you want to read their twitter war you can check it out here.

This is nothing new to see celebrity (and I mean celebrity in Joe Budden and Esther Baxter very loosely here) couples go through public break-ups in the media. But, now it seems like any couple can go on twitter or Facebook and try to air each other out. It seems that we have regularly people trying to one up their ex through social networking. Social nNetworking has now given the common person a platform to air out their dirty laundry not just celebrities. A person can put their ex on blast by displaying pictures, letters, emails, and videos of their mate.

Artists have written and performed songs to talk about their heartache and pain in a relationship. In hip hop MCs have been no different talking about ill-relationships with women in song. Joe Budden’s though dropped a track that definitely let everyone know how he felt about Esther Baxter. He would drop the song “Ordinary Love Shit” where he would go in on Esther Baxter like a Terry McMillan would a man in a book. In particular the verse by Notorious B.I.G. on R. Kelly’s song “Be Happy” where he weaves lyrics that any person knows he is talking about his wife at the time Faith Evans. The track was always slick because Biggie was able to talk about relationship without it coming off trite.

From the male perspective I have to question Joe’s reasoning for going hard on a woman in a public domain like that. I was always told by the “old heads” that man shouldn’t be seen arguing with his woman in public. The reasoning behind this that a man should be able to not let his relationship angers be shown to the world because it shows the man has no control over his emotions. I certainly don’t know their whole relationship dynamic but I can say with definite thought that Joe Budden hasn’t gone through anything with this woman that any other man hasn’t gone through with a woman. It shows a lot of bitchassness in Joe Budden to sit there to take his relationship woes to twitter and sit there arguing with a woman over social media. I am not excusing a woman doing a social media relationship rant but a man should be able to keep his mental/emotional faculties a bit more in check. We all go through stuff in relationships. Every man has been cheated on and done wrong but is there a need to social media and tell the world about every intricate detail of their relationship?

I have made it a personal preference of mine to make my social media experience as least personal intrusive as possible. I may talk about a few things in a general state but I will not display too many of love triumphs and defeats(except in the Marcus Graham Chronicles) out of not only respect for myself but also for the women that enter my life. I will not subscribe to these things just for a preventive maintenance for a potential Joe Budden/Esther Baxter situation cannot brew. I just come from the school that the less rope I give the less you can really hang me with it.

At the end of what does going hard on your ex on twitter do for you? Does it really give you any satisfaction to know you showed up @tasteyfreeze in 140 characters or less? Does it make you feel any better to know you had 26 people Like the fact you went off on James Evans on Facebook? Every day we go through different things that will cause us heartache and pain but it is how we deal with these situations that will show our strength as a man or woman. But, I guess social networking is now another way for us to get even more attention…

What do you think about public Twitter and Facebook Relationship meltdowns? Speak Your Piece!!

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21 responses to “The New Age Break-Up via Twitter and Facebook

  1. So much venom from both sides and it made me remember that the smarter celebs with more to lose avoid Twitter like the plague… The Rihanna’s (who just made one of her haters famous by barking back yesterday), the Chris Browns and the Soulja Boys of the world are of course not above this.

    Its odd how we no longer need the Bossips and the Perez Hiltons of the web to show us celebs fighting since Twitter automatically does it – follow a celeb and watch the meltdown. And it doesn’t matter who wins the argument, they both come off as childish, petty and disrespectful. Not that I expect more from a rapper and a video vixen, so I gurss it’s par for the course.

  2. You stay lacing game! Joe Buddens is the EMO rapper! And though saome of his stuff is dope he is notorious for looking like a bitch in publiv ranting against whatever girlriend he is with at the time. But, at the end of the day seeing folks twitter rant especially women always shows me the chicks to go after who have low saelf-esteem!

  3. I love this! The last part that you said “attention”…that’s what I was going to say…some of us are really attention “whores”…lol…and will do anything to fill a void…right after a break-up…who do you turn to in this day and age?? Right…your 1,000 Facebook friends who really don’t give a you know what! lmao! Idk…i guess it is what it is! Great post D! I’d say…maturity will catch some ppl later in life or never…I’ve seen ppl (men and women) change their relationship status like it’s going out of style…it’s sort of gut wrenching with social media because after the break up, you have to go and delete every pic that you posted with that person…i’ve seen ppl do that too…I guess I’m sort of lucky to have ben single in this new wave of PDA or arguments. Some will need to learn discretion…I’m working on that too! I’m very authentic to a fault as you can see from some of my blog posts. If it benefits someone else then good; like “don’t mess with ol’ boy he gave me an STD”…that’s different. That would be just as bad to air on social media now that I think about it…

  4. What we fail to realize is that in your attempt to air out someones dirty laundry about how bad they are, they do one thing very well… They make THMSELVES look stupid! Let’s be real, if you tell the world that “he aint this and that” and “she aint this and that…” What does that say about you for being with them in the first place. So now people are going to question youe ability to get someone of “quality” or your self-esteem for accepting the type of behavior you were given by someone you put the stamp of “significant” on. Good post.

    • I agree with the logic, but isn’t that the natural reaction when people break up? All of a sudden when you’re no longer with a person their faults that you once tolerated become maximized. That back and forth though, kiddish…

    • I am currently going through a break-up & the NUMBER ONE REASON why I won’t go hard in details on my Facebook is because I’m too damn proud. The official story is it was mutual/we grew apart but we’ll still be friends (we have a large amt of mutual friends) because I don’t want to look bad or stupid. I may feel bad or stupid about the time & money wasted on this secret loser but I don’t want anybody I don’t see IRL to make judgements on me & my decisions.

    • I feel that when there is a break up , apart of you is gone. And sometimes to make ourselves feel whole again, we do things like slander others. So it may make you feel better to “stick it to them” but it’s only because you don’t want to feel bad by yourself. You were already aware of them, but you stuck around because they’re a person who you could see past the faults. The minute you decide to put them on blast lets them and the world know that you were ok with it in some capacity because you decided to stay. So while you may get some relief, you’re exposing yourself in the process of getting self-gratification….

  5. Eh, I don’t really fire shots online unless someone prompts me, and even then I just drop a bomb and walk off. Like this one chick decided to go on a hour long rant about how I wasn’t shit because I didn’t want to date her (she was a bustdown) so I just let it be known that she drove an hour to my crib to get me food and gave me head and I put her out.

    Killed all that yapping lol.

  6. While I think that they both are foolish for airing their dirty laundry through social media, this socially constructed and socially imposed standard of men not being able to argue with women in public needs to be buried, especially if the women start the arguing first. Joe is not any less of a man for arguing with her in public. I’m not sure how this has a negative impact on him being a man by arguing with her in public.

    For me, they both share equal blame for showing the world just how unchecked their emotions are that they would take such personal matters to social media. When this particular situation is contextualized with what’s trending in celebrity culture recently, one has to wonder if this whole thing is just a grand concocted scheme for attention and to stay “relevant,” considering controversy breeds cash.

    • More of anything I am saying that I am not going to argue with someone and air out my business in public. A man should have the ballz to be able to check the woman and let her know that you will not argue with her. Even more sometimes silcence is more of a killer than spitting back. But, I see where you coming from not to let someone disrespect you but if I am sitting there consistently arguging with an idiot who is able to tell the difference

  7. I shy away from relationship status and updates via online. I’m not too comfortable writing about them in my blog. I feel there is a time and place for everything. Like everything in life, people abuse technology. I know if someone I was dating were to use it bet’sta believe I’d be right at their door. I don’t play that.

  8. Hi there, new on this space. I don’t agree with airing your dirty laundry, no matter how angry one gets. I think it’s an easy thing to do, so it shows lack of discipline and it also shows lack of respect and class. I know it’s all nice and cute when you’re on top of the mountain in love to be yelling it to the world, but when the valley stages come, as you have pointed out, why feed the naysayers and the gossipers? It’s akin to cutting yourself and then putting your arm in pirahna-infested waters.

    I have also made that a personal preference, realizing that the risk you take is that its virtually impossible to stop your partner (or ex) from engaging in the same behavior.

  9. I think it’s childish, and I question the sound judgment and professionalism of making hyper personal information public. My thoughts are if he/they did it to her then he /they are capable of doing it to someone else. Some people just don’t know when to stop and when they’ve crossed the line and made themselves look horrible.

    I think the only time a person should post pictures and things of that nature is if they have been put in the position of being called a liar. Or someone has made slanderous comments. When you know the other party is lying, then post away, bust them out.

  10. I’m surprised that they both let it go this far. It’s really none of our business.

    I think people have to be a lot smarter about putting their business in the streets. It’s hard enough for two people to handle their relationship. When you add outsiders, it’s never good!

  11. This>>>> “I was always told by the “old heads” that man shouldn’t be seen arguing with his woman in public.”

  12. I agree totally with this post! I think Joe Budden was out of line even more because of the physical abuse she claims he had as well. Its just way too much going on for this to be bouncing back and forth on Twitter

  13. While bashing your ex publicly is a fail, I believe the first mistake is speaking about the relationship in the first place. I am currently going through a break up of one year, but because of my tweets no one is none the wiser that I was ever in a relationship, to know that I’m currently out of one.

    I believe that what’s understood needs no explanation; as a result I don’t have much to share via twitter, fb or my blog.

  14. Very interesting post.

    There is no doubt that social networking tools have opened the floodgates for people to air all of their business to the word. It has the ability to make a break up even more harsh and mess than one could have imagined 5 or 10 years ago. I can only imagine what things will be like in the next 5 years…

    You have a very unique blog. Feel free to swing by can check out my blog…or not. The choice is yours.

    JSin (

  15. A lot of yall are on here talkin a good game but what if your ex was going in on you on Twitter or Facebook? You gonna let them? I think few of us would!

  16. Pingback: Dear Black Twitter (Everything Aint Funny), « From Ashy to Classy·

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