The Marcus Graham Chronicles is my personal journey of dealing with love and relationships. It is called the Marcus Graham Chronicles because of my affinity for the movie “Boomerang” and how the main character of Marcus Graham relates to me as the “black professional” man. You can check out earlier posts in this series HERE.
We all have our small quirks and idiosyncrasies when it comes to relationships. Some people have height, weight, education and looks ideals they many swear by. There is nothing wrong with having standards but is there a point where we can become a slave to our own standards? Can there be a point where we let those things we “want” overshadow the things we “need”? Where is the line drawn from being just a “Choosey Lover” to plainly having our standards unrealistic?
I mean I am not asking if people should just roll with whatever but can we take it too far? There is a scene in Boomerang where Marcus Graham is telling Gerard and Tyler his date from the previous night. The woman was beautiful from top to bottom except for her feet!
Marcus … “You never, ever think a woman that fine would have hammer time in her shoe.”
Tyler … “Come on man, you don’t fuck her feet. Damn!”
Though I agree with Marcus about Hammer Time in the shoe because I have a no tolerance policy for jacked up feet as well. But, Tyler does bring up a great point even though his delivery maybe have come off crass and overly simplistic. The notion of how we get so focused on certain negative aspects of a person that we neglect to see all the positives the person can bring into one’s life is one that should be taken from Tyler’s statement. I am a victim of things many of a times in my life hence the reason for The Marcus Graham Chronicles. I have let women go for great reasons to some very stupid reasons. Here are a few interesting situations I have left…
I remember years back I was dating a very attractive woman who many people were always biggin’ me up when they saw us out together. She was actually a great woman educated with a master’s degree, great job, no kids, cool personality, and definitely was a caring woman. The problem was….her coochie was pungent as hell! No seriously it was bad! The first few times we thronxed I thought maybe I was buggin’ cause usually it was after a lot of alcohol and things just weren’t working right! Until we got down one time sober and I realized that didn’t have a damn thing to do with my senses being off. No her coochie really was pungent! I remember after telling one of my boys he was like “Yo, she too fine to drop her cause of that just by her a gang of douche for her birthday.” I thought it was totally acceptable for bouncin’ but maybe I could have figured something out right?
That may have been an extreme case above but I have done worse. I remember I was dating a chick and all the same things above can still apply except she worked for a beer company so I had even MORE incentive to date her. After I went out on some dates with her I concluded in my mind that she was too square for me *face palm*. I know as much as people can call me weird or nerdy who am I calling someone else “square” right? It was just something about her that came off not common sense or street smart enough for me. I mean I am a nerd but I would want a chick to have some kind of ”street” sense right? Damn there goes that stupid list of criteria we all try to abhor people to striking again.
Finally, there was another great woman I let pass who was a great chick and definitely was down for the team, smart, not as educated but that was cool, and was super laid back but the problem was her body naked looked like a 10-year-old boy. Yep I bounced from the situation because I couldn’t stand to look at a 10 year olds body in bed. I know you are waiting for me to add more to this story but there is none. Yep, there is no punch line that was truly the reason. *face palm*
The interesting part about these situations (ok maybe 2) are that I could have put some of that proverbial mental checklist in my pocket and tried to dig deeper into these women before I exited stage left. I mean let’s keep it real it’s not like I am the flyest dude walking on the planet don’t get it twisted I still pop by collar. But how can I hold someone to certain ridiculous ideals as I have stated above and then get upset when certain women Pass me By like Pharcyde said. We are always complaining about how this and that person passed us over but many of us do not look internally and realize how many people we have ished on ourselves. I mean the Onus can be on us right?
Upon Marcus quest for “perfection” he was dropping women from some of the most random reasons. He was so caught up in the checklist of things he felt he wanted instead of looking internally and realizing what it is he needed from a woman. It took for him to get his heart handed to him by Jacqueline( Why Do I Love Jacqueline’s?) to begin to see that the checklist doesn’t mean a damn if the person doesn’t generally love and care about you. The list we all have many sometimes do more hindrance to our lives than help. Think about it like this have you ever went to the grocery store and found EVERYTHING you wanted to get on your list? You still were able to function without finding that special type of orange juice right?
Marcus realized just like I have over the last few years that those ridiculous ideals don’t really mean a damn when it comes to this game called love because of a woman isn’t really into you for you then it may not matter how much Hammer Time she has in her shoe. Ok maybe not Hammer Time in the shoe but ehhh you get the point….