Interracial dating has becoming more and more a part of our society. People are finding love in a colors, races, and creeds. American Society is becoming closer to Tiger Woods identification as Cablasian. In most parts of the country it is not as big of a deal to see a couple who two different racial identities in the park having an intimate lunch. If you aren’t comfortable in seeing this dynamic then you might need to grab a time machine and set the dial to around 1956 because these are the times we live in.
I do not have ANY problem with interracial dating (even a few of my girlfriends have been of a biracial background) because if a person is able to find love it shouldn’t matter who they are. But, I do have a problem with someone believing that dating someone of another race is the answer to their relationship woes. It’s great you found love and everything but why the need to go forth dissing just because you are in a relationship with some one of a different race.
Particularly in the black community we have this underlying sentiment that throughout our culture that “white” is always right. This can be seen permeated in some black women/men who have decided to date someone of another race. They conclude that just because the person is of another race (particularly white) that they are in a better situation or have a better man/woman. I will chalk up this idea into the “post slave mentality” category. Just because someone dates outside of their race does not guarantee the idea that they will have happiness. The relationship game is risky on any level. The people with this ignorant mentality will make comments such as these:
Black women are just too sassy and attitudes and Asian women don’t give me all that mouth
Black men do not know how to be gentleman and treat a woman. White men are more of the traditional knight shining armor.
Black women all get overweight and don’t keep up their beauty like white women do.
Black Men are all in jail or on the down low. Hispanic men are “real” men who take care of their homes and their woman.
You can add a multitude of other quasi reasons people warrant their interracial dating. One of the things you don’t hear from theses misguided people is anything about…LOVE. A person can have a laundry list of demands like a terrorist in a hostage situation. But, when a person has this ideal totally handcuffed to a social template regardless of race they are just setting themselves up for failure. LOVE is the one of the central components of a relationship working. Yes, a person can have this entire social template they want but at the end of the day if you don’t have LOVE at the base of the tree it will sour regardless of the person’s race.
In Spike Lee’s Jungle Fever he presented the concept of how sometimes people of different races can think that interracial dating itself can solve their relationship woes. Spike Lee was able to deliver the idea that our own personal issues are the cause of the problem not the race of the person. It made the viewer really dissect the difference between LOVE and just running away from oneself.
One of the saddest things I have seen is the proliferation of people championing interracial dating at the expense of dissing black women and black men in a public forum. There are some great websites that embrace the love and happiness from interracial relationships but then there are some that are just places to public bash the black man or black woman. But, do a quit google search and you will see some of the ridiculous websites out there. We would be remised to not recognize how some people act as if dating a white person is a badge of honor or trophy in an equestrian event.
I will say this from the male perspective and I mean this with the utmost honesty. And this is something I have said on many occasions: Men in general of any race, creed, or color “aint sh**”. What I mean by that is that we are have the same intrinsic want and you can guess what that is… “THE NONCIE”. I don’t care what color he is the majority of what a man does is for a woman. Every man has different ways of going about it and what his overall life goal is but I bet you one thing…it involves “noncie”. I have friends from all backgrounds and we may have differences in culture, beliefs, politics, and sports affiliations but one thing that stays consistent among all of us is the desire for noncie. With that being said if you feel all black men are dogs and don’t want to settle down I can show you the white men, Asian men, and Hispanic men who don’t want to settle down either but they just play their game with another set of rules. I’m sure women can say the same thing among each other. There are bad seeds in every race in the dating pool. Every relationship no matter what color they are is hard work.
When it comes to not only interracial dating but dating as a whole we have to start to look deep in ourselves to see our personal underlying issues instead of blaming the other person (or group of people). If we did a lot more of introspective thought about our relationships we will ALL see how much we are all full of sh**. When we are able to quit blaming a race or sex for the relationship problems and realize our own personal issues we can begin to fix our tattered relationships.
- Think Like a Foolio, Date Like a Dummy: The Myth of the Great White Hope (rippdemup.com)
- Why the Increase in Interracial Marriage Doesn’t Mean a Decrease in Racism (aloftyexistence.wordpress.com)
- Ask Na’dean #1: New Years Resolutions & Interracial Dating (aptheblank.com)
- Jungle Fever: Black/ White Relations (datingrulez.com)
- Interracial Dating: Black Women Finding Love Outside America (clutchmagonline.com)
- Why I Love Outdated: Why Dating Is Ruining Your Love Life [Culturelicious] (racialicious.com)
- White Women, Black Men & African Feminists (msafropolitan.com)
- John Arthur “Black Jack” Johnson (halloftheblackdragon.com)
- Interracial dating: Should black women find love outside America? (thegrio.com)