Before I go into my introduction for this weeks guest post. Make sure you head over to Soultrain.com and peep two articles I have written over there “Internet Killed The Radio Star” and “Capitalism and the R&B Group”. Now down to the business…
We all have heard of the saying opposites attract or people say that someone completes them. We many times miscalculate what the ideal of compatibility is. Is it the idea that the person will like everything you like? That is not necessarily the case because you will not find a person that will like Sardines, Rage Against the Machine , Asian Porn, Desperate Housewives, and the Cincinnati Bengals as much as you do(see “Soul mates or Just a Mate”). But what is the idea of compatibility and what does it truly mean in the idea that opposite can come together and make a great mix. This week’s guest post from writer and author L. Chantay post dives right into this idea. Enjoy and as always show her some comment love.
While opposites may attract, I am prone to believe that people fair better in partnerships in which the parties are more alike than not. Whenever I say this in the presence of people in subpar relationships with partners that are drastically different, they always say how the other person makes them better, but they spend more time complaining about their partners than praising the ‘good affect/effect’ taking place in the midst of the relationships, which in my opinion is contradictory. I personally don’t bash or complain about anyone I attribute my being a better person to. I am basing this off my observations as well as my own personal experiences.
Like-minded people validate each other’s beliefs and views. Because of this, there tend to be fewer arguments. People in relationships with their opposites spend more time compromising and trying to find neutral grounds. I have spent quite a bit of time in the presence of couples that are quite different. The outgoing ones complain about their partners not ever wanting to go anywhere or do anything. The homebodies wish their spouses would sit down somewhere and just enjoy the comforts of home. The sexually adventurists or those with high libidos whine and complain about their sexually lackluster counterparts.
Maybe there is something to be said about intuition and chemistry. When I first met my ex-husband I did not like him. Nothing about him caught my attention. He begged a mutual friend of ours to give him my number. There was no initial chemistry, but a relationship was born and bred out of mutual boredom. We were polar opposites. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that he was an Aquarius and I a Virgo. We seemed to bring out the worst in each other. Years after my divorce I entered another relationship with a new guy. I shall refer to him as Mr. Flighty. When I first met Mr. Flighty I did not like him, either. Maybe because he was a Gemini? He was flighty, and I am grounded. I immediately got the sense he was selfish and full of himself. My mother thought I might like him if I gave him a chance. I should have gone with my intuition. We spent so much time arguing we had little time left to really get to know one another. Then there was the uber handsome older guy, King of Calm. Initially upon meeting King Calm I knew that we would have something. I instantly liked him and knew absolutely nothing about him. Our relationship was one born of mutual goals, understandings, wants, needs, and aspirations. We were and are so in sync it’s almost telepathic. Our minor differences mesh well and encourage growth, both individually and as a unit. We are both calm, laid back, and ponder the mysteries of life. Talking to him is always like speaking to the other half of my soul. Everything about this relationship is effortless and natural. We’re both Earth signs; he’s a Taurus.
I am going to go out on a limb here and hope not to get stoned by saying I believe women set the course for the relationships. That being said, I also believe the woman will know before the man whether or not she has found her natural mate. Men are more visual, whereas women, in my opinion, tend to be more intuitive and accurately discerning. Not all women, but most.
Relationships consisting of opposites often have a dynamic fiery start full of passion, but they rarely ever make the long haul peacefully. I dare not say these relationships don’t work; I am merely suggesting that we exist and co-exist better with kindred spirits. While opposites attract, birds of a feather flock together and some even mate for life.
You can check out more of L. Chantay with her brand new Book “Exotic Simplicity” and her blog “Exploring the Queen”
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