Death of the Relationship Experts…(D.O.R.E.)

LaLaLa…heyy hey hey goooodbye! D.O.R.E.

Yeah, I said it! This is a D.O.R.E…Death of the Relationship Experts. You know the people I am talking about right? Those people who claim to be relationship experts because they were a “playa” for a few years. They are now reformed, have come upon some form of “enlightenment”, and have decided to help women out by teaching them about the games men play. Being a relationship expert now is the equivalent to 10 years ago (or even today depending on who you talk to) when everyone wanted to be a rapper or singer.

These “relationship experts”(particularly the male ones) are in many cases taking advantage of some women’s insecurities and inner desires to be loved. I would have to say particularly in the black community this is ever more prevalent. Black women have been bombarded the last few years by the media which tells them that they will never find a man, they aren’t beautiful(War of the Beauty Cointelpro on the Black Woman Part I and Part II),  that all brothas are in jail, and all brothas basically aint sh**. Moreover these men have seen a financial opportunity to give advice in the guise of putting women on “game”. The funny thing is that most of these “relationship experts” do nothing to extend the dynamic of the relationship. All they do is pettle many things that women want to hear or common sense things women should know from general life experience.

For instance, they will say statements like “You can’t love someone else until you love yourself”…c’mon son! Didn’t Mary J. Blige already explain this notion in 1995 on her hit “Be Happy”? Why do you need to have these “relationship experts” give you common sense advice like this…D.O.R.E.

These relationship experts send out nursery rhyme tweets, write books, and charge inflated fees for consultations without any training in the confines of the human condition be it psychological or sociological. Now I am not saying that person has to have a PhD to able to give great life knowledge. But the idea that you are a relationship expert without studying the mind and how we as human beings interact all the “advice” is just your opinion from your small amount of experiences.

The “relationship expert” phenomenon is fueled even more so by the idea that what they say is law instead of an idea. The sad part is that many of them push their ideas as law. These experts do nothing but pander to their audience instead of pushing the  audiences scope. How are you being self helped or educated on something if you are nodding your head to everything that you are  reading or being told? Change does not come from being told what you want to hear. Change comes from being uncomfortable and unsettled NOT from being in your comfort zone.

For example they will say “All men are cheaters and trying to do you wrong.”…DUH! Most women think this anyway what is new being said here….D.O.R.E.

I even talk about relationships in this blog (The Marcus Graham Chronicles and a myriad of other posts) and even like reading great posts on the relationship dynamic on my favorite blogs on the web but the difference is that most of those writers assert that this is just a section of the male experience not an ever compassing one. I always feel that a writer should provide the template for a discussion to happen not to assert that what you say is law. Are these relationship experts even giving an unbiased view relationships that make their audience critically think?

Many of these ‘relationship experts” hate to even be challenged on their thoughts and really can’t even answer intellectually how they came up with their “theories”. These fake “relationship expert” don’t do any delving into the true male psyche into WHY a man cheats or does what he does? The mind of a man is so more complex than just we all love pussy, don’t let us treat you like a ho, and love you. You know what these relationship experts probably are only talking about simple men because any real man in most cases cannot be spoken about in a monolithic group. The faster we get rid of these relationship experts and really discuss our relationship issues will be when we really will be able to understand each other better.

D.O.R.E. who send out nursery rhymish tweets in an attempt to get retweets and attention.

D.O.R.E. who acts as if he represents all men and their psyche.

D.O.R.E. who do not practice any critical thinking and believe what they say is some God bestowed law

D.O.R.E who do not want to be challenged on their beliefs and are not continually trying to study more about the human condition.

D.O.R.E. who are trying to feed their pockets instead of feeding people’s souls.

Some may call me a hater or I’m knocking their hustle. I will refer to the illustrious Common who said “If I don’t like it. I don’t like it. It don’t mean I am hatin’. But on the real at the end of the day I’m just a skinny dude from the STL with an opinion…But its gotta be a D.O.R.E!