We live this life trying to find a some kind of purpose or self-worth. We work hard getting our degrees, accommodations, and awards to give us some form of accomplishment in life. We chase after many times false goals just like a carrot on a stick. Never chase the money…chase the purpose and the success will come at some point. Many of us get caught in the idea of comparative analysis. We look at those around us, friends, and those in our field and feel that it’s a problem that we aren’t at a certain level. The one thing I have begun to learn is… “Don’t Worry…It Wasn’t Your Time.”
I am not preaching to you because I fall victim to this personal adversarial thinking probably more than anyone else. I have a great group of friends who are all successful brothers and sisters doing their damn thing from doctors, lawyers, engineers, athletes, executives, and businessmen. I would sometimes sit and look at their success and situations and beat myself up because I “felt” I wasn’t at the level I was at. GLC on the song “Spaceship” has a line which I used to title this post “Why You Ain’t Signed…Wasn’t My Time”. It took some great introspective thought but I realized three things:
Every Man’s Journey is Truly a Different Path
I am one of the biggest risk takers I know. I have traveled, spent money, and worked hard looking for that proverbial “come up”. I have definitely did some dumb things and I will probably do some more as the saying goes. I have doubted some of my decisions because some of the decisions I could have made would have put me in a better position.
They say if “if” was a spliff we would all be high and I come to realize those the words can be nothing farther from the truth. We beat ourselves up because our path may not be the road we feel we deserve. But, who deserves any damn thing in this world? Deserve is so much of an overrated word in itself. This entitlement to believe our road s should be what we want it to be or identical to another’s path is what will hold us back from taking that walk down OUR path. The things we do and have been through really do make up who we are and give us armor to go down the road and truly reach the purpose we are created for.
Quit Counting Another Man’s Blessings
How can I find out what is really needed for my own personal development if I steadily worry about what crib my boy just copped, or the brand new whip he is pushing, or the dope investment he was able to come up on? If you steady are looking at another man’s blessings instead of recognizing your own you will just become a watcher in their story, an extra in their life story instead of creating our own story. If you aren’t taking time to do self inventory of yourself you will forever be worrying about what you haven’t done or haven’t made.
Those Who You May Think Have it Better May Wish They Had Your Journey
I was having a deep conversation with one of my closest homeboys. This brotha is a successful lawyer making things happen. He has a dope ass crib, great wife, started his own law firm the whole successful black man demo. He is one of the few dudes who can verbally joust with me. He said something to me that really struck a nerve with me… “Dude, I am jealous of you.”
I was taken a back by his statement. He is an up and coming lawyer with all the prototypical bells and whistles, while I am just a struggling writer that took him a while to find his niche and is trying to make my come up. He would say that he respect my patience (especially with women which can also be a problem of mine too) and my creativity. But, the thing that stuck out that he said was “You are one of the only dudes who are willing to seriously take risks and follow your dreams. You are really going for the world and you aren’t tied to a damn thing. You doing it for all us brothas on the inside (married) and the brothas can really see nothing really develop into something. I kind of just followed the blueprint of a lawyer while you are making your OWN blueprint.”
We sat there in silence for a minute on the phone but then we busted into laughter because he would comment about all the eye candy that I would get to see on my future book tours. Ever since he said that to me I began to realize that you cannot count out that others maybe envious of your voyage just as much as you maybe of theirs.
The next time you get down on yourself for not being where you should be yet remember that your story has so many more chapters left to be written and that you are the master writer, editor, and publisher of it.