Women and Sex: Is It Cheaper to Teach Her?

I have written many earlier pieces about men when it comes to sex (I have few more witty concepts ion the genre I will be rolling out soon) and how we can be carnalistic when it comes to our wants. But, sometimes a man isn’t as clear-cut as just wanting to get some noncie. He can be complex in his thoughts and ideas more than women think they can. How much is a man willing to put up with when it comes to sex? Does a man want to train a woman how to be intimate or should they at least have had a Sex 101 class? Could the man not be opening up the women to be more sexually free or are some women just lost causes? This week’s guest post is from Greg The Dragon of the Hall of the Black Dragon who is not new to the pages of From Ashy to Classy. He has written two dope pieces that I featured in the past “Of White Knights, Chivalry, and Feminism” and “What If Your Lover Settled For You”. Sit back and enjoy this post from Greg the Dragon himself…


Is it worth the time to teach someone that you have slept with (and like) the fine art of making love? Will it yield you and her the rewards of carnal pleasure if she could simply learn to do this or to do that? Is it worth it, or are you of the mind that anyone who isn’t a wife or long-term girlfriend is a potential flight-risk that will take your secrets and use it to blow the next guy’s mind? Or do you believe that sexual curiosity and performance is something that is naturally developed and cannot be taught? In short, you believe that a woman either has it or she doesn’t.

Recently the big Celebrity dish has been that of the fractured relationship life of the original Lady Dragon Halle Berry. The Paparazzi scramble to snap pictures of she and her daughter and the writers insert anecdotes of beauty, bitter, broken and sometimes that other b-word. The blogs take another approach in trying to find the reasoning behind Halle’s multiple divorces – citing the constant infidelity of her partners and placing the blame on 1 of 2 things: The pretty boys that Halle marries and a supposition that she flat out sucks badly at sex.

These accusations hold no ground since only Halle Berry and her former husbands and boyfriends know what happened to cause their split. However the accusation that a woman being bad in bed is enough to drive away warrants a bit of discussion. Since these guys loved the actress enough to marry her, some for up to 4 years, why would that be the issue to send them to the arms of another woman? This makes no sense to me.

From My Experience, Sex isn’t a Deal-Breaker For Men

I have dated women who were absolutely bad at sex and while it made me hesitant to go there with them (whatever the act is that she sucked at) it didn’t exactly drive me away or make her into a bad person. Some women are having sex as a compromise in order to keep you around (sad but true), others may find it painful but won’t tell you, others just have no interest in it. With that being said, making suggestions, helping her understand things and guiding her via your experience, a movie or a book is normally not a big deal. In the privacy of your intimacy if she is unwilling to compromise for your pleasure then I don’t see you marrying her or keeping her around. Think about what I’ve just said, it’s not that you dislike her for sucking in bed, you dislike her for not even trying. See the issue? So no, I don’t think a woman like Halle is just lying there and being a boring wife in the sack, I think she happens to be another unlucky woman with a taste for bad guys.

On the Other Hand A Sexual Succubus will Lock A Man Down

Women that can throw it back like a Janine Lindemulder, a Ricki White or a Sasha Grey will never have issue keeping a man around, no matter what her profession is. The women I used as examples are adult movie stars and many guys will run that sh-t “man I couldn’t marry a girl who has sucked 100 d…” but if he never knew who she was prior, and he got with her, chances are he would sing a different tune really fast. We laugh at Richard Gere in Pretty Woman for being the worst kind of trick, but I am going to assume that Julia Robert’s character who was a tute in the industry, gave him something he couldn’t forget. The movie Brooklyn’s Finest had Gere as an old cop who kept visiting a prostitute and likewise she put that monkey on him and he ran out and got her a ring. Mind blowing sex is a weaker man’s kryptonite, don’t let the liars fool you; this has been true since time immortal.

So what do you think of a woman’s sexuality? Is it something worth teaching when it is really bad? Are you strong enough to withstand the sugar walls of a sexual mistress? Do you have any memories of a woman staying in your life an extended amount of time besides her abrasiveness just because she blew your mind in the sack? Have you dumped a girl for her lack of performance before?

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21 responses to “Women and Sex: Is It Cheaper to Teach Her?

  1. Good write up Dragon!

    I want to add this. A woman or man who isn’t willing to continously sex their mate is giving the ultimate form of disrespect to that man or woman. Even if your wack in bed at least try to learn a few things. Because men have super freaky minds keep in mind most of have watched porn since 8 and have 1.5 million fantasizes. So if you aint giving your dude head properly and keeping his sexually satisfied I’m sorry ladies BUT you will be cheated on by any able bodied man

      • I’m a woman, and I believe that this has nothing to do with being juvenile. That’s the reality of the situation. Pounder is just realistically posting what most men and women are thinking no matter how “wrong” it is in a situation.

  2. The question that I propose to this writer is….if you believe that a man will ‘stick around’ because of ‘good’ sex, regardless of any other flaws or dislikes, why does he think that a man wouldn’t leave a woman that has bad sex regardless of her greatness? It seems that this writer feels that sex is a “deal breaker” otherwise good sex or bad sex wouldn’t keep a guy around without the full package….I personally believe that sex can be a deal breaker, but that’s just me : ) Thanks for the post!

    • This is tough to answer because men and women think so differently. Here goes:
      Men want sex period, if a woman stops giving us sex then its a problem, if she is bad at it within reason we’re still getting the sex so its not a dealbreaker. While it would be easy and lazy of me to say a man would gauge everything on the sex, reality says differently.
      Sex to a man is like alcohol at a wack club. If the club sucks you need to drink to pass the time, if the drink sucks you still drink it because there’s nothing else. If the drink is the best you’ve ever had you not only enjoy the club even more but you’re going back every other week.

  3. The Pounder is becoming one of my favorite commenters! He keeps it raw like Old Dirty Bastard. But to the post this is very true in so many ways. I had a homegirl who was with a guy for two years and she parceled out the sex to him and barely gave him head. She really was looking to marry him but never married her and cheated on him with a flight attendant and is getting married in 6 months. #truestory

  4. I mean why does Sex have to be Everything to a man! There is so much more to a relationship than sex. I think if more men focused on the entirity of the relationship that we wouldn’t have all these men cheating and breaking up families just for some sex?

    • It’s not that sex is EVERYTHING to a man, but it is more than NOTHING either. It counts for SOMETHING though. The problem is that sometimes there are women that try to guilt or manipulate men into thinking they don’t need it or should want it. The devil is a lie from the pits of Hell on that one.

  5. Wow.. Very interesting read. I’m not sure that I know what the universal definition for wack sex (from a chic) is, but I think if you’re invested in the girl, you should be willing (and eager) to coach her into giving you what you desire. Sex is a big deal (to most) and if you aren’t getting what you want, why wouldn’t you try to get that from the person you’re with? If its a dip or a jump off the by all means don’t bother. I mean to be honest…I’m sure there are some skills lacking on both sides that either person should be willing to improve… @keitathejedi

  6. I think Greg Dragon hit the nail on the head! “bad within reason” prevents sex from being a dealbreaker. So unless you have no walls, a guy will work on you (literally & figuratively)

    Any woman is teachable and will be uninhibited for the right dude. And just because Halle married those dudes doesn’t mean she felt “right” sexually w/ them. Quiet as krpt, I’ve NEVER heard a dude say he quit a woman because the sex is bad. I just don’t think that conversation exists

    • Ok, CJ let me add this in! What about if she isn’t giving it up? Or giving you head? Shouldn’t you dip?.

      (I aint comment this much on a post in a while but this hit home from an ex-girl friend in graduate school)

      • I would wanna know WHY she isn’t doing. If head isn’t her thing, then fine. But if she’s not because she’s insecure or inexperienced, that’s a different approach.

        IMO Women want sex just as much as dudes, so when they’re not giving it up with some pep in her step, something else is the issue

        • How about they are just lazy and lame LOL! No seriously I know it can be an array of issues. But, how about the idea that some chicks especially those who are used to catered to are not use to putting in work. Dudes just happy to be with them until they get sick of the lame intimacy

        • Very true! Women are sexual creatures right along with men. Most women don’t participate in certain sexual activites because of labels. Most women only want the label “wife” and have a image in thier minds of what a wife is, and that does not include being sexual. Sad to think that but real.

  7. Great post. When it comes down to it, intimacy is a big deal in relationships. But like you said, it’s not a deal breaker for most men. After a while guys just stop asking the question to their boys “how was she?” because the real questino is “how bad could it have been?” As for the “teaching” portion of it, it can be sketchy. If you want them to do something specific, run it by them! You have nothing to lose. If they’re not open to it, leave it alone, because when/if they do it, you’ll notice their enthusiasm and thats what will mean more. Can you teach them and it be bad anyway? Sure. But the teaching of what you like is only really necessary if she’s going to be around for an extended period of time (whether she’s a side piece or main) so you feel your time is best spent. Kudos.

  8. Dope post but I beg to differ bad sex or boring sex is just as much of “deal breaker” as no sex. In order to make it to be the “One Woman”, the “Wife” she first has to be the “Friend” and “Freak”

  9. Interesting post and analysis. All you guys are pretty much saying the same thing, but what about the Virgins. The girls who held out to a later point in life and have decided to have sex and are a bit inexperienced. What do these girls do? After all Rome wasn’t built in a day.

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