It’s the fall season and the weather is changing. They say that seasons change and things rearrange. The season change is a natural evolution of not just the climate but life itself. The fall/winter comes we change our clothes, our eating habits, and our outdoor hobbies. The change from summer to the fall/winter season is no different when it comes to relationships. Have you ever heard of someone saying I need a winter boo or a winter lover? People joke about the desire to have someone to hold in the winter. Ok, let’s be real there so many reasons why people seem to gravitate to relationships in the winter but are they healthy for us? Is it a smoke screen for our inability to be alone? This week’s guest post is from Shannon Bennett (@MsTBennett) of tbennettshannon.com. This isn’t her first rodeo on From Ashy to Classy. She wrote the popular piece “My Couch is Not A First Date Option”. Let’s see what she has to say this go around about winter relationships.
“Damn…it’s starting to get kinda cold outside bruh.”
“Yeah, man, this weather ain’t gon be no joke.”
“Hell nah! Shit…Its about time I found a boo.”
C’mon. Don’t front! You know you’ve heard that before – or big chances are you’ve had that conversation with friends. Winter is right around the corner, and the Cuffin’ Season Train is sliding into a city near you. All aboard! Need the best dates? Check out the 2011 Cuffin’ Season Calendar! *blink blink* Yes, there’s a freakin’ calendar.
Slowly but surely I’ve been seeing an increase in #lonelytweets on Twitter, and a few late-night Facebook status’ that people don’t think anyone will notice… blank stare. As the weather gets a little bit more chilly, and your feet start freezing under those cold sheets (in that empty bed), your mind may wonder more and more to thoughts of a mate.
Now, I’m not saying you couldn’t have already been on your quest for love before the weather started changing. You could be getting older and starting to feel like its time to settle down. You could be on the bounce back from a previous relationship and ready for something new. But as more and more couples inevitably pop up in my radar (as the seasons change), I can’t help but wonder how quickly they’ll melt into nothingness once spring hits.
Cuffin’ Season is a point of humor among my friends. Not taken seriously, but also something we KNOW is going down in our peer group. People are looking to match up – quick, before the holidays come around and they’re feeling lonely without that “someone” to share that leftover turkey with.
Of course, I realize reasons will vary for everyone – hell, for some people finding that special someone isn’t an easy process, no matter what the season is.
But as these two-minute relationships crowd the social scene, I keep thinking about Serial Relationshippers (yeah, I made up that term – and actually use it more frequently then you’d think). Serial Relationshippers are those lonely souls that jump from relationship to relationship in quick succession. You know, the people that just can’t be truly happy when they don’t have somebody? Or, after they leave one relationship, they’ve already got another lined up and waiting?
I’ll admit, I have a pretty strong opinion about the need to jump from relationship to relationship. In my opinion, it smacks of a lack of self-awareness and self-happiness. Being by yourself is not the same this as being alone and lonely. At least, not in my book. Then again, I don’t believe someone else “completes me.” Negative. I complete me. And when my special “someone” comes along, I’ll be more then happy and open for them to ADD VALUE to my life, and me to theirs. But trust, I’ll be happy with myself before they appeared. Cause well…I like being happy and comfortable with myself.
Don’t get me wrong though ya’ll! I definitely have my moment’s where I want a mate (Where you at future boo?! Lol) – but I don’t let that rule relationship decisions, even if my poor little feet get cold.
So, as you consider buying your Cuffin’ Season Train ticket, I’d suggest you pay close attention to your seat options. I’d pull for business class homie…a window seat with a view.