Pimpin’ Ain’t Dead…It’s Just Evolved!!

I have shared with many people about my encounter with the former pimp now ordained Bishop…Da Bishop Magic Don Juan(see “The Night Bishop Don Juan Taught Me About Love”) and how as crazy as that night was he taught me a lot about the male/female dynamic that I previously had not thought of from the “pimp’s” perspective. The saga of the pimp has been chronicled in classic movies such as The Mack, Willie Dynamite, and Dolemite during the Blaxplotation era.  during my night with Bishop Don Juan he actually schooled me on some things that weren’t just relatable to pimpin but more related to how we look at relationships as men. The question comes up: Has the idea of pimpin changed from john’s and hoes into men’s daily lives? Are men treating their women more like “bottom bitches” and “side hoes”?  This weeks guest post will be from writer and author Raechal “Dr. Rae” Rivers (@raeluvs2write) who has just dropped her first book Journey to Self: Journey to Love and her blog (http://drrae.wordpress.com). See what she has to say about men pimpin and women being a men’s bottom bitch…


I don’t know the history of nor the purpose of pimpin’ we saw portrayed in the blaxploitation films of the 70s; but I can give you my observation of my present dating life and our everyday society.  I am talking about the modern age pimp mentality that has been passed down for generations.  I am not talking about the lifestyle of every man you know; but certain ones.  Let me fill you in on a “recent trend” of possible clownship; there’s nothing new under the sun, hence the title pimpin’ ain’t dead.  So you are dating a guy; he could be someone new in your life, or that one Boo who has been in your life for a few years or what have you.  In this relationship, there is no real “title”, ie. girlfriend/boyfriend, fiancée’; it’s just baby/boo.  Naturally, as a woman you question where the relationship is going or if it’s going.  If this boo has been around for some years, you are wondering what is this relationship, and why can’t I get rid of him and this no title relationship?  This man is persistent.  Y’all may even live in two different cities.  You do your thang (dating), and he does his; but it’s hardly ever discussed.  When you get together, you enjoy each other.  One fine day post-30, you realize, “I’m tired of dating”, and I want to settle down.  So you have to ask long-time boo; “are we gonna be together or what?”  Reality sets in…he basically says that y’all ain’t together or a couple, but he doesn’t want you to “date” other men.  Wtf?  Who does/says things like that?  He must be a modern day pimp!  And if you stay along for the ride, what does that make you?  You’ve guessed it; his Bottom Bitch!  WOW!  Listen to some Pimp C and Bun B (UGK) for an explanation of any further terms and language.

Somebody queue my theme music “My bitch a choosy lover never fuck without a rubber, never in the sheets like it on top of the cover…money on the dresser, drives a compressor, top notch hoes get the most not the lesser”.

One of my favorite joints is “International Players’ Anthem” by UGK and Outkast”  circa ’07.  Why, you ask?  This hilarious, true to life song has some major dating knowledge within it.  Everyone is trying to be chosen; the chosen one, men and women.  The man finds the girl (he chooses her), but she has to choose him back.  See if your pimp game is tight, you can run up on just about any woman (the baddest bitch) and she’ll choose you back unless she is already spoken for (married, engaged, boyfriend, with another pimp).  If your pimp game is not tight, then another man can run up on your girl and get her.  Where they do that at?  It happens everyday.

See everyone is not a pimp and everyone is not a bottom bitch.  It takes some mastery to become these types of people.  Most of the players with pimp/bottom bitch mentality probably had a dad/father and or mother who passed those characteristics down.  Do these types of people become Husbands and Wives you ask?  Sometimes.  Takes years; and sometimes a few children along the way.  So who would involve themselves with someone like this?  A person who loves the game.  A person who has chosen and been chosen.

There is a certain type of swag that comes along with this game.  And many of us don’t have time for it.  You may think it’s settling, but what will you or won’t you do for love and maybe some security? (He takes care of you; he shows up for family events; he’s your baby’s daddy or high school/college sweetheart)  It’s a risk that you run everyday.  You might as well have fun doing it.  All the prim and proper people who may think that there are no flaws in their relationship could be in for some rude-awakenings.  I’d rather know the truth beforehand.  How many other women does this man have?  Who else is he dating?  Will I continue to date others while keeping boo as number one in the line-up?  It just depends on the day and the season.  You may think I’m shallow; you may think I’m crazy; but life’s short!  I’m definitely enjoying this ride; and I guess we all get what we position ourselves for.  Are you a bottom bitch?  Or are you just a single, independent, and happy woman?  Remember, it’s your choice!  You can be replaced by another woman, (which is another risk-factor) just like you can replace him.  We all have a choice!  Smoochez and Good Luck in Love!  Happy Holidays!!

–Dr. Rae

Dr. Rae had A LOT to say on some men taking on the characteristics of “the pimp” and “bottom bitch”. Chime in what do you think??


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14 responses to “Pimpin’ Ain’t Dead…It’s Just Evolved!!

  1. What is funny about this post is that women compartentalize men like this ALL the time as well. Its apart of the life we live. There are men women try like such. The thing is those women make bad choices of what dudes they kick it with. They go after this thing that doesn’t want them than looking for a man who wants them just as much

  2. First of all, are you sure your “Boo” is thinking that way…..like a pimp? Doesn’t necessarily sound like it to me. Sometimes, women’s imaginations can really run wild. Also, do you really wanna take this there……the whole “Pimpin” mindset? Are you sure you wanna hit that part of town? Do you really wanna go there? Because it’s a whole different chess game…….

    • Hi Neil, the “seriousness” of this post is meant to be funny yet thought provoking. You are right, Boo may not be thinking that way…but I know some other women who have received the same type of responses from their Boos when it comes to setting boundaries in relationships. Everyone seems to want some type of “ownership” without investing in a real committment ie, “title”. And I know that just because you have a title means nothing if actions don’t line up. Thanks for your feedback! :-)

  3. I so have to agree with you on this post! A lot of men want to match up there lives and have a stable of chicks but don’t want another man to touch their “toy”. It really kills me the double standard when it comes to that. Brothas need to step their relationship game up!!

  4. I know one thing there is nothing wrong with having a bottom bitch! She holds you down when you at your worst and gets to shine with you when you at your best!

  5. The funny thing about the “ism” (the underworld of having game, pimping, and hoeing) is that deep down nobody wants to lose. No pimp wants to get knocked (have his woman taken away) regardless of how much he value he gives her, and no bottom chick or random amongst the flock (group of women) wants to feel l ike he doesn’t belong to her. So if she says “we’re together but there is no title”, that’s her way of making herself feel justified for her feelings and possible actions. But deep down you know when you’re truthfully somebodies bust down or not. Afterall, if both people feel that they’re in a relationship they’ll say this is my (insert title). Nothing more, nothing less. The problem that some people make is by allowing themselves to be the bottom chick, but have no title. After a while he has everything to lose by giving you a title regardless of how you see him. Basically the whole “why buy the cow when milk comes free?” Anyway, good post!

  6. I agree with this post on so many levels. First off, pimping definitely is dead and breathes within society on a daily basis, at various levels. Financially, spiritually, even family.

    Game is everywhere. Since that’s the case, there are pimps and hoes and like Tupac Shakur once stated: Everybody has been pimped at one point or another. The trick is how long you allow yourself to be pimped.

  7. Pingback: The Journey Continues… « Journey to Self: Journey to Love·

  8. Pingback: You Can Change a Ho Into A Housewife…In Theory « From Ashy to Classy·

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