People have talk about the 50/50 rule in the relationships it seems since the dawn of the television talk show. But, what is 50/50? Does it exist? How does it present itself in 2012 with the way gender roles are being blurred. I wrote a post a while back “Most Men Cannot Accept A Woman Who Makes More Money” that had some folks upset and mad from my assertions of the way I questioned gender roles. But, lately that notion I have has been challenged by the more situations where the gender roles are flipping. How does the 50/50 rule come into play now though? This weeks guest post is from Brendolyn Marie (@brendolynmarie) of brendolynmarie.com where she asks how much should a woman or man give when it comes to 50/50.
I posed the question to nobody in particular in a public forum, ” When it comes to being in a relationship is it true that everything should be 50/50? If a woman is the primary money-maker what should be expected from her man?” I have come to the realization that in this day and age woman are becoming the primary source of income in many households, primary doesn’t necessarily mean only, however women are making more money than a lot of men. Growing up in the church I was taught, “A man who doesn’t work doesn’t eat.” (Quoted indirectly from the 3rd chapter 10th verse of 2 Thessalonians). It is the ideal of society that a man is supposed to be able to provide for his family, a man is to wear the crown and head the household, it’s just that simple.
In today’s society we see that this is not the case, the roles have been reversed and women are heading the household. Some by choice others by default, I say by default because after so long a man gets comfortable in knowing that his woman is going to maintain the household even if he does not. I look at my friend who has been married for quite sometime, and it puzzles me how she can get up every day and go to work while her husband does nothing all day because he does not work and for as long as we have been friends he has never worked. I am not one to knock the lives of others and what goes on in their household, but at what point does a woman say, “You need to get up and get a job?” I am not insensitive, and I understand that the economy isn’t the best right now, so finding a job isn’t easy but if you aren’t putting forth the effort you aren’t working towards bettering your situation. A man should not become content being taken care of by a woman, a man should not sit back and watch his woman struggle to keep a roof over his head while he sits at home watching Sports Center all day.
It’s another thing entirely for a man to be down on his luck and hit rock bottom after being on top of his game. In that case the woman should step up and pick up where he is lacking, but that is NOT a permanent solution. In cases like these it the woman’s duty to encourage and uplift her man so that he can get back on his feet.
“I think over the duration of a relationship it should be 50/50. Maybe I’m doing everything while you are in school, then when you graduate you can help more or vice versa. I think deciding how long you wait for things to come down is up to the individual team members. The dynamics of your relationship can’t be based on society, books or anything else because everyone is different and contribute in different ways.” ~Marlon W.
“Every man is wired to want to provide for his other half (wife or not) it’s what motivates us to work and make more money to give what we need. It’s what motivates us to work and make money to give you (women) what you need”~ Chris H.
While I do believe it is the responsibility of a man to provide for his household, I also believe in women doing their part to ensure financial stability. A woman who works has the ability to help carry the load, there is no reason an able-bodied woman pulling in income shouldn’t pay bills. Now if a man decides that he is financially stable enough that he can tell his wife, “Baby you keep your money, I got this.” then that’s something different in its entirety, but let’s be realistic, that ain’t happening in today’s economy.
Women are natural nurturers, therefore it is our maternal instinct to take care of our men, for a long time those were our only duties, to maintain the household by cooking, cleaning and raising the children. But that was when June Cleaver and Florida Evans were popular role models (even after so long Florida wasn’t content not working and eventually went to work herself.)
After a long debate and battle of the sexes this comment summed it all up:
“A relationship is never really 50/50, it could be 40/60 one day, 90/10 another. When the other person isn’t able to do their half you have to pick up that slack. If the relationship is a good one then it will keep it going.” ~Chris H.
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