Some Truths That Women Don’t Want to Hear

When it comes to dating most times men think too simplistically about women while women think too indepthly  into men. But, Is there things that women don’t know or just don’t understand when it comes to men and our moves and actions? This week’s guest post is from my cousin(my real blood cousin) Greg (@theblackmurse) of Greg is Dumb. And when I tell you he comes RAW he really does. His last guest post here Celebrating Failure in the Black Community ruffled more than a few feathers and this post is going to be no different.

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There are a lot of things in this world people don’t like. Some things people don’t want to hear. With women, not only do they not want to hear it, they create an atmosphere of disinformation and propaganda on the level only seen with extremist groups, dictatorships, and whoever the hell believes anything on VH1, BET, or MTV is quality programming. There are truths that men discuss among themselves, that we don’t reveal to women for 2 reasons:

1. We want to have sex with you, and we won’t get there by pissing you off, or

2. We are dating you, and if want to continue to have sex with you, we aren’t going to piss you off any more than we already do.

Any dude who says “Well I don’t believe what he’s saying because blah blah blah male feminist mumbo jumbo I respect women and they are all special snowflakes BS” He’s lying to get into your pants too. Just like all them dudes still in the friend zone. Guys will say and do anything for the nookie. Period. Wars have been fought by dudes with THOUSANDS of women ready to bust down over one woman. So yes, if a guy says something that he knows will make you mad, then he’s definitely telling you the truth. This is one of those moments.

TRUTH: No good man wants a woman with multiple baby fathers in their 20-30’s. Period.

Now, women who make critically bad decisions will have their arms up and their legs wide open over this one. It’s a fact of life. No man worth his salt wants a woman who not only laid down once with a guy who didn’t stick around, but then made the same critical mistake AGAIN. If your children have your last name or all different last names and you are still in your 20’s, that’s a HUGE read flag. Believe me when I tell you, the only dudes trying to stick around are a) knew you before you made massively bad decisions, in the friend zone and want some sort of revenge fuck to show you how much better they are than the douches you went out with or b) just some grimey nigga running game who wants to smash. That’s it. I’m going to explain to you the exact logic that goes the head of a man with some sense:

She has multiple kids by multiple dudes under the age of 30 —>None of those dudes stuck around for their kids—>Grimey niggas make it obvious they are grimey with 3-4 simple questions and 5 minutes of using more than 3 neurons—>Which means…

1. I’m a grimey nigga and I need to shape up because she clearly only attracts grimey niggas so I might need to change whatever it is I’m doing and get the hell away from her.

or

2. She’s a hoodrat and will only be a financial and emotional drain. She is looking for a come-up after going deep in the hole of life.

or

3. She is a critically bad decision-maker. She will only throw my life into disarray and chaos.

Say what you want, disagree all you like, but these are the truths. If I meet a woman who is in their 20’s with multiple kids by multiple guys and not one ring, not a wedding ring, promise ring, teething ring, none of that, I cannot take her seriously. And neither will most guys. Same reason most guys don’t take strippers seriously. Guys hate getting undressed in front of people, so doing that night after night? If you had better options you would be doing as such. You know that, we know that, no need to lie about it.

TRUTH: Bashing Your Child’s Father Makes YOU Look Bad, Not Him

Seriously, this is such a hard concept for a lot of women out here. Now, men know and understand its a LOT of grimey dudes out here. A LOT. One thing we also understand is that you can spot a grimey dude from a mile away. Unlike the media, talk shows, Oprah, and book clubs, men, whether we say it or not, DO hold women fully accountable for sleeping with dirtbags just as much as we hold dudes accountable for being dirtbags. We aren’t talking about guys who have jobs and were taking care of home and doing the right thing until pregnancy came up and bounced (even though sometimes you can see that coming too), but the ones that get knocked up by Lee-Roy aka “Black Rob” from around the way that was in BD classes and didn’t finish high school and never had a job. When you tell us that sob story about how he never amounted to anything and he’s in and out of jail and never worked, we blame YOU.

Why do you blame you? Because you can spot them niggas a mile away. They make it plainly obvious they aren’t doing ANYTHING with their lives. PLAINLY. On top of that, the longer you have known him, the worse you look. If you have known him for a year as a friend of a friend, you still look bad, but if you have known him for 10 years, you will be written off by any man with some sense. As soon as we hear that you slept with a dude, RAW, who didn’t finish high school, and never had a job, we pretty much mark you down in the “dumbass” column. The only reason why you are kept around at that point is for a really bad dry spell, if you are outrageously fine, or we heard that you got some crazy skills in the sex department.

Basically, you are going to have to wait until some of these good men get caught up with a grimey chick without the baggage so he’s on par with you.

Oh yeah, speaking of kids: the closer in age they are to each other, the less respect we have for you. So if the kids are 14 months apart by 2 different guys, you are a bad mother. Period. No way you are going to convince me otherwise. I think I speak for all men with some sense when I say that as well. When you are letting guys go up in you raw when you should be taking care of a newborn, you can’t be a good mother. Oh and before any women jump to the “what if one of your relatives was like that???” defense, one of my cousins has been on Maury. Twice. And I clown her constantly about it. CONSTANTLY. Being a relative or a friend doesn’t exonerate you from stupidity. You get called out for it. Men just don’t call women out often to their face because…

WE WANT THAT NOOKIE.

TRUTH: If Your Close Friend Falls Into Either Category, You Look Bad Too

Guilt by association. If you have more sense than that then why would you be around a woman like that? She ain’t that damn cool and getting your weave fixed up on the cheap is not worth the drama women like that bring. Once again, man logic leads one to conclude that:

a) you do just as much dirt as she does, you just haven’t been caught up yet;

b) you are grimey and keep her around to make you look good, or

c) you also fall into one of the categories and we just don’t know it yet.

But the main reason why women like that won’t find a good man is a very VERY simple truth.

TRUTH: They Don’t Know What a Good Man Even Is

If she did, she wouldn’t get caught up with blatantly grimey dudes. It’s really that simple. The chasm between a good dude and a grimey nigga is wider than the Grand Canyon, and easy to identify. Now, someone is going to say, “that’s not all women, most of us aren’t like that, that’s just the hoodrats/ghetto chicks/etc.” to which I will point you in the direction of Joe Budden‘s mentions, filled with college-educated women thirsting over a grimey nigga, or Chris Brown‘s, or any number of certifiably grimey dudes who have plenty of smart women who friend zone any man who is respectful of women while sack-riding blatantly grimey dudes. You have to live life by the rules, not the exceptions.

At the end of the day remember this one thing: If a man is willing to forego sex to tell you something, that’s the purest honesty you can get. Also there’s no sex in the champagne room. None.

And don’t worry, I’m coming with some more truth again, so stay tuned. The next topic: Why do black men get successful and go after white women?

Make sure you check out this week’s episode of the “Straight Outta Lo Cash” Radio Show. This week’s show “No Limit Records Has Little Replay Value” feat. The Social Heathens You can also subscribe to the show on I-Tunes or listen on your Android, I-Phone, or I-Pad with Stitcher Radio.

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46 responses to “Some Truths That Women Don’t Want to Hear

  1. This is some much drivel and womanly hate! Nothing here new is being said or brought forward. Moving right along to better posts that are on here

  2. Great post! My favorite part was when you talked about certifiably brimey dudes. There are women who will complain about the way men treat women. But still openly support a man who hits on women.

  3. Ya know, nothing is absolute. I believe the disconnect comes in when women who have the above attributes aim for men who don’t want to deal with women like them. If the women aimed for Ray Ray instead of Dr. Raymond Price III, then they probably wouldn’t be judged so harshly. Just the same, if men aimed for women who were drama filled, then they wouldn’t get the cold shoulder and the side eye from women who refuse to deal with a man who brings baby momma’s, habitual Angry Black Man, and laziness to the table.

    Someone should write about the truths men don’t want to hear.

    • You do realize you can go to virtually any relationship blog written by a woman and see that. There are no truths men in general don’t want to hear because we have to hear it anyways from women whether we want to or not. There is literally no disincentive for women to NOT tell us how they fell about stuff. But there is a huge disincentive for men to tell women the honest truth about how they handle risk management when deciding who to take seriously and who to date and whatnot. We immediately get labeled as misogynists, though the real misogyny comes in the form of the apologists, who will justly hold a man fully responsible for bad decisions, but when a woman does it repeatedly, they make excuses and do not hold her accountable for hers, like she is an animal or small child. A big part of equality is accountability for your actions, to which men have not been bringing up on account of them wanting to get laid in the foreseeable future.

      • I don’t see too much about what men need to do. Instead, I see a rack of things women need to do to get a man, keep a man, get married, and stay married. Maybe I’m looking in the wrong place. Maybe those blogs don’t get popular. Who knows.

        To me, I don’t think I really have to tell a man how to act. All of that has usually been taught (or not taught) by the time they get to me. I let a man be who he is. If we don’t mesh, oh well. I’m not trying to trick, campaign, slyly convince a man to ‘act right’ because he will grow resentful of the ‘changes’ I’ve forced him to make. My daddy has always told me being the woman a man resents waking up to, paying child support to, etc. is nothing but disaster and stress. I believe him. A lot of women never had that, soooo….

        • Umm, have you ever watched the View? Oprah? Read Cosmo? Any feminist blog? They exist. Plus this isn’t telling women what to do or how to do it. Do whatever the hell you want. If it makes you happy, so be it. But I will judge you by your actions. What gentials you were born with has nothing to do with it. Dudes hear what they need to do to get a good woman all the time anyways. Remember, its a LOT of single-parent households and virtually all of them are headed by women. So they hear it all the time, though a lot run counter to that being misled by grimey niggas on the block and on the radio and on BET. Either way, it was just a blog post about how men do risk management when it comes to dating.

    • I Think this what the problem is men are expected to accept criticism and to just to take it on the chin period. women make these type of vlogs all the time and we men just accept it. so I think women should be able to accept things to, Im not knocking your view. But its just that a view when us men have views they should be acknowledged just as your female empowerment sites and books have been getting acknowledged for decades.

    • Its been done already: 8 reasons to date a white guy. Plus youtube is full of the black man hating scene.

  4. Playboy came with some brand new funk on this post!!

    I will say this though as a counter persay. I don’t even deal with raggity chicks that even think like this….

    What you are saying is truth just not for the quality of chicks I deal with

    • That’s my point. The reason why you don’t deal with the type of chicks that I talked about is because of the risk management you did. You realized the risk is too high and the investment is too deep for the potential reward.

  5. Never really thought about these truths, b/c my #1.5 goal in life is to stay Dwight Howard’s wingspan length away from the women you described, but

    “Men, whether we say it or not, DO hold women fully accountable for sleeping with dirtbags just as much as we hold dudes accountable for being dirtbags.” <— 1 of the most accurate statements I've ever co-signed w/ by a male blogger

  6. What kind of chicks does this author even deal with? I have to agree with Ponder cause this kind of chicks are the bottom of the barrell in general. Why does there always seem to be a war in these blogs on black women’s psyche?

    • First off, you are sensitive as hell. Nowhere did I mention all black women, or even the race of the women. Seems like you made an assumption that only black women fall under this category. The cousin of ours I mentioned that was on Maury? Puerto Rican. So looks like the “war on black women” that you read into, was all in your head, because it wasn’t written here. I was elaborating on how men with some sense and something to lose knock women off the “who should I date seriously” list. Don’t like it? Too bad. Odds are you do the same whenever a friend tells you she’s dating a guy with no job and multiple baby mamas. So either the rules apply to both sides, or you are holding a double standard.

  7. Great post and it gives me a great conversation piece to have with my daughters tonight… Will print it out and have a family forum on this… This is the type of discussions that a girl needs to hear from her father… This post is great for fathers… Thanks…

  8. Hmm. You spoke some truth. I tell my 22yro nephew these things all the time. He tells me “Auntie I don’t even put myself around women like that. I’m about to do big things.” Some women will get mad about this post but I think it’s needed. Truth hurts. Hell it’s not me so I don’t give a damn.

  9. ROTFL……*Applause*

    This needed to be said, Kudos Digg!

    Unlike Pounder, (in the past, yes) I’ve dealt with a couple of “Raggedy Anns”…lol. Looking back, I’ve dodged the bullet…*feverishly wiping forehead*

    • Me to Neil “Whew” wiping the sweat off my head. Being a female today is def hard. Im a target for these fools but I tell them if you would have caught me when I didn’t know any better I probably would have been someone’s baby mom. Thank God im not I see the heartache thses kids and mothers go through because of poor choices.

  10. This is a misstatement and fallacy that all men want is “nookie.” Many of the mature men that I know value respect from their counterpart over nookie. Even if she gives a man all the nookie he can handle, but treats him like a boy, then he will be unhappy. Many young men think erroneously that its all about getting his member wet, until he encounters a woman who disrespects him, reducing him to a boy toy. Then out of know where, he finds himself enraged. If a man has respect from his woman, then sex is a given.

    • Hey, someone who clearly went to a public school that lacked history books and lives in a bubble! Tell me, how is it to be delusional and completely miss the point of things that you read?

    • Actually, the author said that they don’t mention certain aspects because “they want the nookie”. Doesn’t even make it about sex, per se. Rather, it makes it about screwing up chances of sex. Oh, and they could be in a relationship of some sort. But, bad timing and unnecessary commentary easily puts men on the couch.

      • See? You get what I was trying to say. But sometimes you gotta put your words in crayon for some people. Plus some dudes are just suckas and deny the truth/love the drama and getting played. Most guys in a relationship aren’t going to blast their S/O’s friend if she falls into this category because she will side with her and be an apologist and you will end up on the couch, so we just say…nothing. Then we tell our boys and laugh about it.

    • I think even with the most mature man the motivation is still sex. we work to provide for our selves as men, to make ourselves feel good, survive,provide and attract women,( Stop me if I’m wrong). When you really think about it from the age of self awarness of (male) children we are taught in the traditional family that as a man we are to get a good job, car and a home for what? you guessed it a woman. why you ask, so we have something to offer her in return for sex and of course companionship till death due them part… In Islam they call it Dowry. these are gender roles programmed in us by society, family and media… AND THIS IS the killer part of it all, this is just how the transaction between prostitutes and Tricks are. Yeah i know it sounds cruel but very honest. In my defense the saying goes though, Lady in the streets freak (ho) in the sheets…

  11. Pingback: Open Friday: How Does a Baby Mama Become a Wife? « From Ashy to Classy·

  12. ladies to trip off a post like this. Dudes like this spen most of their time jacking off in their moms basement playing Mass Effect or something. He doesn’t understand the complexities of life!!

  13. Response to Are single mothers damaged goods.
    Taren you can delete this one too but on that website below are from several other people who don’t know you history but they have an opinion. although you did not want to have commentaries respond to your video because you disabled it you simply told us that what people are saying it true and you don’t want people to know about you.
    why don’t you do the business anymore? why are you lying and saying the guy who considered you a jumpoff is your ex? He was never your ex and you can ask anybody including him which I am sure he has told you many times when he left you in front of the meeting waiting for him to drop you home lol that day was priceless. he said I am not your man find your way home the way you came.

    Taren isn’t mentioning that she was a jumpoff of one of the guys in the business she used to be in. this was as recent as 2years ago. the guy repeatedly told her they were not together and that he was not her man yet she keeps claiming he was. She was calling, texting, e-mailing him until he changed his number and every thing. Taren that is your problem right there you have to know the difference between just being a fuck and being a girlfriend. You should never have made any comments about this topic no wonder you disabled the comment box yet you say that when people make truthful comments about you it does not bother you, yeh right.

    Taren if you were to have kept your legs closed you would not have 3kids for 3 different fathers and I do agree that is a major red flag. the nerve of you to say that men are not equipped to handle a single mother, I beg the differ. Men can handle a hard working, and true single mom but they just can’t handle a whore like you and that’s the truth. If a man loves you regardless of what baggage you are carrying he will be willing to make it work NO excuses, but if you are always so easy and have no class selling yourself all the time no man is going to wife you. On top of that you had had you boys taken away from you and was givin custody to their fathers family all because you were running the streets is very sad. You weren’t even married when you had your 3rd child like come on when are you going to get the big picture? Then you want to blame the men and say that they are not equipped? Bitch go sit the fuck down and close your fucking legs. NO wonder you don’t do the business anymore which is not a surprise because everybody knew that you’s a whore. The guy in the business that used Taren for what she is said that she was still attempting to reach out to him saying that someone broke into her house so he changed his number again a second time. I don’t know if She is still contacting him because he doesn’t mention it when I see him at the meetings, but that just goes to show how Low Taren Guy is willing to go. The guy has moved on back with his wife and she is still trying to get with him. Taren was also contacting other men in the business that also used her as a jumpoff but she is not going to mention that in her videos.

    http://instagr.am/p/Kp2PToSJGR/ FYI this guy that she is referring to is not even working in her area. also when a you get a ticket on you car on the summons has the name of the person who wrote the ticket along with their number.

    I too was a single mom and I joined this business to help myself and make a better future for my kid. I have kept my standard very high along with birth control and I don’t have 3 kids with 3 different fathers. I have been married for 4years now and I am now considering having my second child. Everyone has their own story but you have control as a person to make a better ending if you didn’t get a good start. I have learned from my past mistakes and I moved forward for the better but damn there are just people out there to live up to the statistics of our disgraceful society.

    As for this topic I stand corrected when I say NO not all single moms are damaged goods. There are single moms out there that actually live up to the title as a mother and that is not just because they have brought kids into this world, but because they love and care for their kids like I care for mines. We are not tramps or whores nor jumpoffs or home-wreckers or attempted home-werckers Like Taren Guy. We are the minority of what true single moms are but the majority people like Taren Guy here is what gives us true single moms a bad name. Ho sit the fuck down clean up your act, stop trying to be someone you are not for God sakes you have 3kids now why don’t you try to break the cycle? I feel sorry for her kids they are the ones that are going to suffer the most and it’s so sad because they did not ask to be here with a mother like Taren. It’s probably better for the kids to be with their father’s family, they might have a chance after all

    http://bossip.com/557516/are-single-mothers-damaged-goods-mother-with-three-baby-daddys-says-some-men-arent-equipped-to-handle-an-already-made-family-video69691/

    • Regardless of a man loving a woman, if he had a child with her then he has a moral, emotional, legal, and financial responsibility to those children. None of us should judge others unless we’re walked in their shoes.

  14. What the fuck! this Taren type is out of this world she is a fucking Bird 100% I wouldn’t go near her even if she was the last female on the planet. This is the type that you just fuck and leave. she is a repeat offender she got 3 of them mothersuckers and she is reaching. the nigga had to change his number twice? WTF! she’s a Bird looking for someone to come make a nest for her because she was irresponsible and then she was a jump off too? She Ratchet! and reeks of desperation.

    Women are so sensitive when it comes to us men calling them out. Where was that sensitivity when you guys opened your legs for the dick? lil adivice to you baby mamas and females in general: A man will view you in the same manner in which you view yourself. If you are giving the vibe of a easy nookie,hell ya we are going to take it. Odds of us keep your asses around for anything more is not going to happen. That pussy has to to hella good and most time it ain’t worth it. As men we too have standards and if you are not up to par we don’t want no part of it. I want to make my own family not interested in a ready made one. Fuck that shit

  15. Pingback: [ReBlog]: Bashing Your Child’s Father Makes You Look Bad | Sorry4TheBlog.Com·

  16. Wow! Truth is truth. I think all woman need to hear the truth and I’m glad that I have had many examples of what not to do. I’m 30 years old, single, no children, black female and no way am I even dating a no good chump. I have allowed a few in my liofe in the past and thank God there were no children created between us. I’m the product of a broken home actually I didn’t grow up with neither one of my parents. So I do as a woman and Black have the right to stick to my guns when it comes to having chilfren. I woul dnot want to bring an innocent child into a immature relationship. Of course situations and people change but my motto is to every guy I meet. When and if a child passes through my womb all 3 of us will have the same last name. I think I deserve that honor and so does the child. I hate seeing some women and good women settle for these idiots. They say to me “oh you’ll never be a mom or you will never get married being too picky”. Well honey let me tell you I may not be a mom yet, but you will definately have a hard time becoming someone’s wife with all those kids. I watn kids but not just with a man jus because he can put it down in the bed. Lately it’s hard dating and actually im tired of dating and the past year my bobdy has been craving sperm and a man who sees me as special and enjoys my company and wants me in his life. But I be damned if I will become baby NO# 1, 2, 3, or 4 without a ring.

  17. I just absolutely adore the fact that majority of the people who agree with this are men.

    I personally find this incredibly sexist, offering the idea that a single mother wouldn’t be able to make it on her own without another supporting father figure in the picture.

    What if a woman had a child out of wedlock, and then was raped and forced to have another child? Don’t you think you’re being insensitive to the other means of conception? I know you didn’t specifically mention rape, but you didn’t negate the option either. I read this assuming there were NO conditions in which it would be possible to find a “good” man.

    I agree with /minimal/ aspects of this article; however, I find it somewhat poorly written from a definite abrasive attitude. I do appreciate and understand this point of view for the most part, even if I don’t agree with it.

  18. Some of the post makes sense. What i don’t agree with is judging people based on some mistakes they may have made at a younger age when alot of people make mistakes., so because your sin is different puts you in a better position to judge?? And wait, 2 kids,14 months apart automatically make you a bad mother??? Lol! Last i checked, having children you don’t care for, don’t feed, don’t dress properly, and drop off at grandmas house to go fuck off makes a bad mother.how do you know that young lady wasn’t molested when she was younger and didn’t know get value until recently?? All women are queens…strippers, prostitutes, single mothers with different baby fathers are all queens. Maybe they can learn their value and change their lives for the better if we spent moretime telling them they are queens and do deserve better, regardless of past mistakes instead of saying they aren’t worthy of a decent man. This blog comes across as very bitter and is made by someone who is trying to big themselves up by down talking our queens

  19. whatever happened to the Real Ladies that existed years ago?, and today they are nothing like that. very obvious why many of us good men can’t meet a decent woman anymore.

    • Well- it is so easy to say what you would and wouldn’t do when you’re not in the situation. Just like you said- men will say anything to get the “nookie”- which means- they can and will lie- we all know females are emotional beings and most often we believe the untruth that’s spoken by these men. You also stated that the “grimey” man will pull himself together just long enough to get the “nookie”- so in the beginning of a relationship- everyone stretches the truth- meaning you do things in the beginning to give false hope. So many inconsistencies in this blog…that doesn’t hold much weight.
      Men should be accountable for their actions and be the true leaders that they were created to be-
      Women should be accountable to treat their bodies as a temple…and show self control.
      Until God is present in the homes and lives – the world is just going to get grimmer and grimmer and include self righteous folk- that feel like they can control who they love…with or without a ready made family.
      There is no order in these homes- we have grandmammies and grandpappies raising babies- of children that they didn’t raise. So it’s all sorts of jacked up and the real ladies and men are becoming more and more extinct due to the lack of raising children.

  20. Some of us actually KNOW the truth about Taren Guy and as a result choose not to support her. She has many of you fooled. Most of you are in love with her hair because it is something to which most black females who have gone natural aspire to have. However, she considers herself to be an online media personality and thus is a “brand”. What she failed to do, is protect her brand and left herself open to criticism, which happens to anyone who allows themselves to be an “open book” to people they allow in their lives, whether personally or virtually.

    That said, Taren is now pregnant with her 4th child out of wedlock, and this time by a married man. Some of you might say “Well, that is not my business.” It is your business and my business as it relates to the messages she conveys to her viewers which is self-love, self-acceptance, self-worth and women’s empowerment. She is the complete antithesis of all those things, plus some. You can’t embody stereotypes and then decry them at the same time.

    Here are some petitions to take a look at and hopefully sign.

    https://www.change.org/petitions/bet-revocation-of-sponsorship-of-youtube-natural-hair-guru-taren-guy

    https://www.change.org/petitions/unilever-revocation-of-sponsorship-of-youtube-natural-hair-guru-taren-guy

    Black women must stop supporting and embracing these Taren types who continue to perpetuate stereotypes that beset black women because her behaviors are not only harmful to that women but to black women at large.

    Taren Guy
    Taren916
    Taren

  21. I see I’ve entered this conversation waaaay late, but I have a few questions. I’m a white woman, so I’m really just curious as I don’t know anyone who shares the characteristics of those described in the article; I’ve never even met a person who hasn’t graduated from high school or a person who had a child out of wedlock, and I met all of my black friends in grad school. I’m not trying to criticize the author or the type of people he describes.

    However, this article and many of the comments make sweeping generalizations that portray both black men and women in a terrible light (and do not apply to any of my black friends of either gender).
    The author states “Guys will say and do anything for the nookie. Period.” By “guys” I surmise you’re talking about black men –including you — since this article is directed at black women, and quite frankly, you’ve just agreed with racists who claim that black men are dishonest sex-crazed animals.

    If you and all of your friends will do or say anything for sex, perhaps rather than criticizing black women, you should reflect on what that says about YOU. Lying to a woman so you can use her for sex is no better than when banks lie to poverty-stricken (often black) people regarding terms of a mortgage so they can take their money. In both cases, one person is preying on the dreams of another (the dream of having a family or the dream of home ownership). Presenting yourself as something you’re not to take advantage of another person is dishonest and shameful — something only a dirtbag would do. And if dirtbags are lying to women and presenting themselves as good guys, it may not be as easy to tell them apart as you imagine. Men have it much easier — either a woman has kids with multiple fathers or she doesn’t. But an irresponsible man could potentially have 34 kids and if he’s not owning up to it, any new woman he meets would have no reason to know.

    The author says: “men, whether we say it or not, DO hold women fully accountable for sleeping with dirtbags just as much as we hold dudes accountable for being dirtbags.” Does that mean men hold other men accountable for being dirtbags to women? If so, how do men hold them accountable? Given that 72% of black children are born out of wedlock, are you saying that roughly 72% of men are dirtbags? It takes two to make a child and unless you are either obstinate or using condoms 100% of the time, you’re no better than the women with multiple baby daddies. At least those women are taking responsibility and raising the children.

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