When it comes to dating most times men think too simplistically about women while women think too indepthly into men. But, Is there things that women don’t know or just don’t understand when it comes to men and our moves and actions? This week’s guest post is from my cousin(my real blood cousin) Greg (@theblackmurse) of Greg is Dumb. And when I tell you he comes RAW he really does. His last guest post here Celebrating Failure in the Black Community ruffled more than a few feathers and this post is going to be no different.
There are a lot of things in this world people don’t like. Some things people don’t want to hear. With women, not only do they not want to hear it, they create an atmosphere of disinformation and propaganda on the level only seen with extremist groups, dictatorships, and whoever the hell believes anything on VH1, BET, or MTV is quality programming. There are truths that men discuss among themselves, that we don’t reveal to women for 2 reasons:
1. We want to have sex with you, and we won’t get there by pissing you off, or
2. We are dating you, and if want to continue to have sex with you, we aren’t going to piss you off any more than we already do.
Any dude who says “Well I don’t believe what he’s saying because blah blah blah male feminist mumbo jumbo I respect women and they are all special snowflakes BS” He’s lying to get into your pants too. Just like all them dudes still in the friend zone. Guys will say and do anything for the nookie. Period. Wars have been fought by dudes with THOUSANDS of women ready to bust down over one woman. So yes, if a guy says something that he knows will make you mad, then he’s definitely telling you the truth. This is one of those moments.
TRUTH: No good man wants a woman with multiple baby fathers in their 20-30′s. Period.
Now, women who make critically bad decisions will have their arms up and their legs wide open over this one. It’s a fact of life. No man worth his salt wants a woman who not only laid down once with a guy who didn’t stick around, but then made the same critical mistake AGAIN. If your children have your last name or all different last names and you are still in your 20′s, that’s a HUGE read flag. Believe me when I tell you, the only dudes trying to stick around are a) knew you before you made massively bad decisions, in the friend zone and want some sort of revenge fuck to show you how much better they are than the douches you went out with or b) just some grimey nigga running game who wants to smash. That’s it. I’m going to explain to you the exact logic that goes the head of a man with some sense:
She has multiple kids by multiple dudes under the age of 30 —>None of those dudes stuck around for their kids—>Grimey niggas make it obvious they are grimey with 3-4 simple questions and 5 minutes of using more than 3 neurons—>Which means…
1. I’m a grimey nigga and I need to shape up because she clearly only attracts grimey niggas so I might need to change whatever it is I’m doing and get the hell away from her.
2. She’s a hoodrat and will only be a financial and emotional drain. She is looking for a come-up after going deep in the hole of life.
3. She is a critically bad decision-maker. She will only throw my life into disarray and chaos.
Say what you want, disagree all you like, but these are the truths. If I meet a woman who is in their 20′s with multiple kids by multiple guys and not one ring, not a wedding ring, promise ring, teething ring, none of that, I cannot take her seriously. And neither will most guys. Same reason most guys don’t take strippers seriously. Guys hate getting undressed in front of people, so doing that night after night? If you had better options you would be doing as such. You know that, we know that, no need to lie about it.
Seriously, this is such a hard concept for a lot of women out here. Now, men know and understand its a LOT of grimey dudes out here. A LOT. One thing we also understand is that you can spot a grimey dude from a mile away. Unlike the media, talk shows, Oprah, and book clubs, men, whether we say it or not, DO hold women fully accountable for sleeping with dirtbags just as much as we hold dudes accountable for being dirtbags. We aren’t talking about guys who have jobs and were taking care of home and doing the right thing until pregnancy came up and bounced (even though sometimes you can see that coming too), but the ones that get knocked up by Lee-Roy aka “Black Rob” from around the way that was in BD classes and didn’t finish high school and never had a job. When you tell us that sob story about how he never amounted to anything and he’s in and out of jail and never worked, we blame YOU.
Why do you blame you? Because you can spot them niggas a mile away. They make it plainly obvious they aren’t doing ANYTHING with their lives. PLAINLY. On top of that, the longer you have known him, the worse you look. If you have known him for a year as a friend of a friend, you still look bad, but if you have known him for 10 years, you will be written off by any man with some sense. As soon as we hear that you slept with a dude, RAW, who didn’t finish high school, and never had a job, we pretty much mark you down in the “dumbass” column. The only reason why you are kept around at that point is for a really bad dry spell, if you are outrageously fine, or we heard that you got some crazy skills in the sex department.
Basically, you are going to have to wait until some of these good men get caught up with a grimey chick without the baggage so he’s on par with you.
Oh yeah, speaking of kids: the closer in age they are to each other, the less respect we have for you. So if the kids are 14 months apart by 2 different guys, you are a bad mother. Period. No way you are going to convince me otherwise. I think I speak for all men with some sense when I say that as well. When you are letting guys go up in you raw when you should be taking care of a newborn, you can’t be a good mother. Oh and before any women jump to the “what if one of your relatives was like that???” defense, one of my cousins has been on Maury. Twice. And I clown her constantly about it. CONSTANTLY. Being a relative or a friend doesn’t exonerate you from stupidity. You get called out for it. Men just don’t call women out often to their face because…
WE WANT THAT NOOKIE.
TRUTH: If Your Close Friend Falls Into Either Category, You Look Bad Too
Guilt by association. If you have more sense than that then why would you be around a woman like that? She ain’t that damn cool and getting your weave fixed up on the cheap is not worth the drama women like that bring. Once again, man logic leads one to conclude that:
a) you do just as much dirt as she does, you just haven’t been caught up yet;
b) you are grimey and keep her around to make you look good, or
But the main reason why women like that won’t find a good man is a very VERY simple truth.
TRUTH: They Don’t Know What a Good Man Even Is
If she did, she wouldn’t get caught up with blatantly grimey dudes. It’s really that simple. The chasm between a good dude and a grimey nigga is wider than the Grand Canyon, and easy to identify. Now, someone is going to say, “that’s not all women, most of us aren’t like that, that’s just the hoodrats/ghetto chicks/etc.” to which I will point you in the direction of Joe Budden‘s mentions, filled with college-educated women thirsting over a grimey nigga, or Chris Brown‘s, or any number of certifiably grimey dudes who have plenty of smart women who friend zone any man who is respectful of women while sack-riding blatantly grimey dudes. You have to live life by the rules, not the exceptions.
At the end of the day remember this one thing: If a man is willing to forego sex to tell you something, that’s the purest honesty you can get. Also there’s no sex in the champagne room. None.
And don’t worry, I’m coming with some more truth again, so stay tuned. The next topic: Why do black men get successful and go after white women?
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