There has always been the age-old generalization that women think too much and over analyzing things. But is that an excuse to dismiss the thoughts of a woman just because they maybe too analytical or think too much? Maybe we need to reevaluate the idea of women thinking too much? This week’s guest post is from one of my favorite folks Telisha aka Goddess Intellect ( @goddess_l) of Goddess Intellect.com and Hello Beautiful is going to shed some light on her perspective on a woman thinking too much.
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I was an angry ball of fire at the very moment I wrote this. Before I get into why, thank you Darryl for allowing me to vent to complete strangers aka my new friends.
When I was asked to write this guest post I had no idea I’d be this angry, I suppose no one really anticipates anger. I’m usually a silly head-in-the-clouds intellectual with lots of hair and giggles. I enjoy uplifting others through my blog posts on Goddess Intellect , Hello Beautiful and through the exclusive Relationship Vision coaching program offered through my site.
Well as one who usually has it together I was thrown off by a statement that men usually say to me after I’ve spit about 20 questions in a row, “You (women) think too much”.
When I hear this, a mocha-tinged caramel covered flip book of ex-boyfriends invades my logic. He, him and them, they’re damn right- I do think a lot. I think about my future, sporting the entire BCBG spring collection and the many tasks and obligations I keep convincing myself I can get done before their due dates. To my detriment I have also thought myself out of relationships, taking risks in life and I’ve even persuaded myself to make many poor decisions even though I was well aware of the consequences. Conversely, I’ve also thought myself into successful and loving endeavors.
Our minds are our greatest asset and worst enemy. The statement, “you think too much” bothered me because I knew that my mind was responsible for conjuring up some mess in the past along with its sidekick emotion- paranoid, jealous, presumptuous messes. I knew that I needed to somehow relinquish control and let life come to me if I were to ever see a momentous growth in my life.
How do you do this after years of being taught that an analytical brain is a prized one? After years of thinking that your GPA is the end all, be all. How do you use a part of your being that has never been used before? We never want to stop using our brains but we also don’t want it to have us in a choke hold.
I became a judge of my own actions, by questioning where my evidence was for any claims I had I my head. I asked where the evidence was that I would fail, wouldn’t have enough money, wouldn’t have enough friends, wouldn’t find love and best of all I questioned where my assumptions were coming from. They say the key to happiness is to expect nothing; well the key to a peace of mind is to constantly and consistently put your ego in check.
A morbid example but it’s like that scab that keeps being picked at. The more you play around with it, the longer it takes for the skin to heal. The more we pick at things we cannot control or things we don’t have all the answers for the longer it takes for the answer to be revealed.
I’m not as angry as I was when I started to ‘pen the post’ but now I’m realizing I do owe someone special an apology.
Do women tend to analyze and decode things a lot more than men do? If yes is your answer why do you think that is the case?
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I dig this but women still over think too damn much! That’s why this wack relationship dudes stay making money!
But like I said good post!
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From one woman to another thank you for this! I am totally with you in this!
It is said that women look at the big picture and holistically while men tend to compartmentalize, focusing on one aspect of the bigger picture. So, we women find ourselves thinking about Everything all at once and how things are related and interconnected, and for men it seems like we are doing a little too much. No one is wrong, just different. It feels insensitive to us, when someone says “you think too much”, when really they could say “you think differently” or “you examine situations for a different vantage point than myself”. One is a judgement the others are observations. If this “war” on sexes is ever going to end, we need to start acknowledging our inherent difference and accepting them. As they say, “It’s better to be kind, than to be right”.
What you will not see on blogs like this: men who criticize themselves and the relationships mistakes that they make. It always falls on the woman. Sister, stop carrying the burden by yourself!
To put it in simply words…ya’ll are unstable creatures!!
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