If you haven’t make sure you check out this week’s episode of the “Straight Outta Lo Cash” Radio Show. This week’s show “31 Kids?…You Are Now Cocktimus Prime” .You can also subscribe to the show on I-Tunes or listen on your Android, I-Phone, I-Pad or Black berry of Stitcher Radio.
Last week there was a guest post on how the idea of Romance Fairy Tale maybe something we need to taper our expectations or it will maybe become a living nightmare. If you have kept up on my blog my whole series The Marcus Graham Chronicles has been about breaking down what are fair expectations and what are some BS ideology I have when it comes to my romantic relationships. How much have fairy tales influenced our sphere of thought and way we look at relationships? Is it alright to have those expectations of a knight in shining armor? This weeks guest blog is from my man Mark Harris (@darcwonn) of Chocolate Covered Lies who has been a frequent writer here on From Ashy to Classy. he is going to breakdown how all the fairy tales and Disney movies have done our lives more of a disservice that we actually think.
Remember the line “and they lived happily ever after”?
Many of us know those words because they have remained stained in our brains to sustain the ideal ending of many imaginary relationships. I understand the sole purpose: hope. Many of us hope for those “happy endings”. Many men hope to find that woman to rescue or that female prize to obtain. Many women hope for that “knight in shining armor”. Our culture has reinforced this. Movies made by Tyler Perry and TD Jakes have approved the message. Therefore, the fairy tale isn’t the imaginary hope more so than the unrealistic goal.
The new chocolate covered lie is this: women should seek the “fairy tale relationship” as their goal.
I always found the “fairytale relationship” to be utterly ridiculous. Then, I caught wind of a video by life coach Early Jackson and Dr. Towanna Freeman. It dealt with the parameters of relationships and how many look for “fairy tale relationships”. It all boiled down to expectations and standards. What was given, however, was really eye opening about that said ridiculousness.
The movies/books gave exposure to some flaws in relationships from a subconscious level. The Wizard of Oz dealt with a lot of males that were pretty selfish/needy in their endeavors of self-completion. Also, Dorothy went through “a storm chasing a dog”. Beauty and the Beast deals with a man that has a temper problem with a myriad of anger issues (a “beast” per se). Snow White deals with a plethora of men that has profound flaws that practically define their character. These fairy tales, in short, are indicative of relationship issues that occur.
If you think that is interesting, peep out the other fairy tales as I break them down even further.
Sleeping Beauty is a popular fairytale for its whimsical tome about a woman that is rescued from her sleep by her Prince. While it is a beautiful story, it begs the question: should you really need a man to wake you up? As a woman, you should be “awake”. Your man should be taken by the fact that you are “alive” and “full of life”. Being successful, independent (but not too independent), and above all mobile are traits that men look for. Sleeping Beauty, in short, can have those of slumber looking for life’s alarm clock.
Cinderella is another fairytale that can be misleading. In basis, it deals with a poor woman being saved by her man. One could see her mother and sisters being symbolic to her struggles. However, unlike the fairy tale, reality can play a different tone. Many people put themselves in their own situations. Also, they tend not to take responsibility for getting themselves out. Instead, they look for their Obama-in-shining-armor (or Michelle, if you are a male). In truth, there are too many people looking for a bail out.
Some will question me and say “Why would you even mention these fairy tales”? These stories are important because many women desire the “fairytale relationship”. They want the adorned wedding with pretty colors, flower petals everywhere and important people in attendance. They want to be admired and adored for their dress choices. They want the attention of having a good man and being married to one. For many women, they want the best that marriage, and relationships, has to offer. In turn, the fairy tale relationship is the ultimate goal for many.
The best way to approach any relationship is by being realistic. Fairy tales are many people’s first introduction to relationships. For women, they can be the facsimile of a relationship goal. I would say this: tread lightly. Many of the men, and women, are heavily flawed in their situations. Too many situations can be alluded to these tales (relationship wise). However, many of them don’t end with “happily ever after”. Some, unfortunately, end with “ashes to ashes, and dust to dust”.
‘Nuff said and ‘Nuff respect!
Tonite make sure you check me out the Live Stream Q&A with me on Wave 45 TV at 9 EST(CLICK HERE). You can ask me questions live or before hand at my twitter @diggame or Wave45TVs twitter @wave45tv
- The Romantic Fairytale Can Soon Turn Into Our Own Nightmare (ashy2classy.net)
- No Fairy Tales (boomiebol.wordpress.com)
- Idiosyncrasies (max-logic.com)
- Men Aren’t Reluctant To Be In Relationships – They Are Just Reluctant To Date YOU (thisisyourconscience.com)
- Quote: You Think Fairy Tales are Only For Girls? (miscfinds4u.com)
- So Apparently Men No Longer Believe In Dating *Vintage* (candydiaries.com)