Another edition of Open Friday is upon us. This week has been full with controversy in the posts that have been on FATC(From Ashy to Classy) this week. This week’s letter and topic revolves around the idea of a woman maybe getting “too much religion” in a marriage. I know it sounds complicated and it is but you know what just check out the readers letter.
I really liked your article earlier this week on Men and the Madonna Whore thang but what about a woman who flips the script the opposite way. My wife and I have been married for around 5 years. We don’t have any kids and everything seems to be working out alright. Well about 10 months ago my wife started to get involved in our church more. I was like cool. I can appreciate you trying to become more in tune with her spiritual side and wanting to find more of a connection to God.
The problem came in as time has went on she has wanted to stop having sex barely AT ALL! She spends a lot of time praying, at church, and barely spending time with me. Like when I try to bring up sex and talk about my concerns of our intimacy. She says that she understands but her mind and spirit is leading for her to serve Christ more now. She said that she hasn’t been feeling like having sex because of these new feelings. Every time I try to get intimate with her and get physical she tells me to stop and for us to pray.
This has become a serious issue because we haven’t been intimate in over 6 months. She has totally did an about-face on me and I feel like Jesus is getting more loving at home than me. I really love my wife but I don’t know if I can be in a sexless marriage like this. Should I feel bad because my wife wants to be more involved in her spirituality and relationship with God? I would be grateful for your opinion and your readers to get some other perspectives
Jesus Getting More Than Me
This is a situation I would dread to be in. So, I definitely feel for you brotha. First off this may sound funny when I asks this but…
Is she messing around with the Pastor? I mean it’s silly but how many stories have we heard about the Pastor messing with one of parishioners on the low?
In all seriousness you all obviously aren’t on the same page in your relationship. You all have to really have a heart to heart because for her to just flip the script like that their as to be some issue going on that you may not be aware of. It may not have anything to do with you but maybe just the way she looks or feels about you. One thing I was always taught:
“The day your woman doesn’t think you are cool anymore is the day you have lost her.”
Now the idea of cool is subjective to your situation and her definition of cool Maybe her idea of who you are has changed and she is using the religion as an excuse for not being intimate with you. Maybe she doesn’t feel you are as spiritually connected as she wants you to be(which is a crazy concept in itself to classify anyone’s relationship with God when its YOUR relationship). These intimacy problems are rooted in something deeper I would presume and that is something you as a couple need to explore. COMMUNICATION is key here! Even if you That’s the beginning and the key to everything. Even if you want to get religious doesn’t the bible say that the covenant of marriage is the most important thing?
There is a real discussion that needs to had between you too because even though some people sex isn’t everything as I have said before don’t discount how much it can mean. Sex is only an issue in a marriage when you aren’t having any.
Now it’s time for you give YOUR Thoughts on the letter? What do you think about this situation?
Write in with ANY question for Open Friday at firstname.lastname@example.org
Make sure you check out this week’s episode of the “Straight Outta Lo Cash” Radio Show. This week’s show “Ladies if You Want to Keep Your Man?” featuring Poet and Personality Mocha Latte.You can also subscribe to the show on I-Tunes or listen on your Android, I-Phone, I-Pad or Black berry of Stitcher Radio.
- Open Friday: I’m Pregnant But I Want To Date (ashy2classy.net)
- Men and the Madonna “HO” Complex (ashy2classy.net)
- Open Friday: Dating is Like a Poker Game? (ashy2classy.net)
- 5 Reasons Why Colored Girl’s Should Consider Polygamy (ashy2classy.net)
- If You’re Looking For A Good Man – STOP Bragging About How Your PUM-PUM “TUN UP” (thisisyourconscience.com)
- How You Worried About Gay Marriage When The Rents Too Damn High? (ashy2classy.net)
- Sex vs. Sexual Intimacy (theromanticvineyard.com)