When It Comes to Sex…Almost Doesn’t Count Right?

There has always a running joke about women lying about how many sexual partners they have. There are random theories and equations developed over the years to predetermine or estimate a woman’s romper room action but one of the things most men don’t realize that we will never really know. I always have felt as long as you are getting it consistently and its good don’t get too into your feelings about her number(besides my three personal exceptions). With all that being said this weeks guest post comes from Bre(@brewrites) of the Writerz Block Blog and she is going to give a candid view of how women sometimes miscalculate  or misrepresent the amount of sexual partners they have had.


I had a conversation with the boyfriend the other day in which he jokingly accused me of accusing him of being a man-whore.  To which I countered, “why is ‘whore’ automatically a woman?  Why do you have to add the man in front?”  He shrugged.  And then I called him a whore-whore.  To make sure I was being an equal opportunity name caller.

And although we’ve been together a long time, we have never broached the subject of the amount of past partners.  Honestly, I do not want to know.  And if you asked me, I couldn’t even give you a specific number that would actually make him a whore.  Or “ho” if you will.  5? 25? 100? (yes).  Maybe ho isn’t the right term anyway because I’m not sure if the exchange of money for services actually is considered when we throw around the word.  Floozy? Maybe that would be more appropriate.

Either way, I don’t think that the matter should be discussed.  Ever.  And the thing is, I think it’s common for women to bring it up once they are in a serious relationship with a guy.  Maybe they want to know the guy has some experience (more than 1) but isn’t a floozy (more than X).   And there might even be some guys that are concerned and asked but I can pretty much guarantee they won’t get the correct answer.

See, women *know* how many men they have been with.  But if it’s been more than one, odds are someone doesn’t make the list because “it doesn’t count”.  Did you know that guys?  There is a way you can be erased from a girls list of sexual conquest because they have decided that on some level or another you just plain and simple do not count.

Shocked?  Amazed?  Don’t be.  Here’s just an example of things you could do to NOT make the roster:

·         No orgasm (by either party)

·         It only happened once

·         It was in college

·         It was in <insert a different city other than the one she lives in>

·         It was too small

·         It was bad

·         It kept slipping out

·         It wouldn’t go in

·         She didn’t really even like him that much in the first place

·         Duration was too short

·         She forgot about him and then one of her friends reminded her, but it’s too late cause he’s not on the list after that

See how easy it is to knock a list down to just a few guys? And these were ideas from modest women.  Imagine what the easy girls would say!

Have you ever discussed the number of sexual partners your mate has had?  Do you think they told the truth?  Do you regret asking or did it make you closer?  Men, do you believe women if you have asked?  Women have you ever been asked and lied?  Let me know (without giving any actual numbers!)

Make sure you check out this week’s episode of the “Straight Outta Lo Cash” Radio Show. This week’s show “Where Hip Hop Live’s??” with Legendary DJ Charlie Chan Soprano. You can also subscribe to the show on I-Tunes or listen on your Android, I-Phone, I-Pad or Black berry of Stitcher Radio.
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8 responses to “When It Comes to Sex…Almost Doesn’t Count Right?

    Great write-up. Should numbers be discussed? Only if you can handle it…MEN and WOMEN alike. And I don’t think anyone should lie about it…if you are going to cross that threshold. Hell, I got told numbers when I aint even ask (I didn’t like that, for the record). I was told by a couple of grown women that they count all acts of intimacy as a number (i.e. just kissing, just playin’ around, a meal with no dessert *you know what I’m sayin*). Regardless, life is full of experiences and 10 times out of 10, they had life experiences before you showed up. If you are both ADULTS and in a SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP I think you should be honest with each other IF you choose to discuss it. My nickel.

    ps- Ladies, most men are understanding of you have a series of JAM SESSIONS before they showed up. However, we don’t wanna be the one holding your hand at a party and the AMTRAK BOYZ are HI-FIVIN’ each other when they see you (ya dig?). Sounds shallow…but we really aint feelin that in a SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP type-o-way.


  2. …man, 1994 was a great year…damn I miss it. As far as that H-Town video goes…lol! man-oman…well, thats how we rocked backed then. Way better than now.

  3. I tell men all the time not trust the women when it comes to disclosing the sexual history. I think a chick should though because I should know if you let the whole hood get down. This is funny though but something I always knew and always call bs on with a chick

  4. First and first most a real woman wouldn’t be giving her good stuff out like candy to even be in a situation having to say almost

  5. I can’t really remember the last time the question about the number of sexual partners came up, but I’m thinking it was when I was much younger (early to mid 20’s). If and when the topic came up it was never based on any serious discussion but was one of those “I know you get around, how many women have you been with” and the reply was normally “I don’t know, I don’t keep count”.

    Hell, neither do I but when another blogger challenged a few people to come up with their Top 5 lovers, I realized two things: one was that some of the men had performed so poorly that they were in the “doesn’t really count” category and two, I would never tell a man the actual number anyway (whether it was small or large). What’s the point?

    Something that is a little strange is that I had been keeping a running list of all of the men I have been involved with in what I call the “Purple Book” and what’s funny is that more than a handful were nearly or fully disqualified from the f___ roster because it WAS too small or they came to quickly.

    In all, I agree- some things are best left unknown. Thanks for sharing

  6. Don’t broach the subject because the follow up question is almost always “Well, who was better?” and then she has to tap dance around that answer to the point now that you don’t only think she’s stretching the truth on the number but NOW you think there’s a possibility she’s fibbing on whether or not she got it slung to her better than you do. LOL If you’re getting it, and you’re both satisfied, and everything is everything, then let it be.

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