Greetings and salutations Dig,
I’m going to get straight to the point. I have a wonderful male friend who I’ve always had feelings for and considered to be “more than just a friend”. I recently opened up to him about my feelings for him and, to my dismay,he divulged that the feelings weren’t mutual. Rejection sucks but the fact that I consider him a close friend makes said rejection that much worse. I don’t want to end the friendship because he truly is a wonderful person but knowing that I’m stuck in the dreaded “friend zone” is painful and embarrassing. I’ve begun speaking with him less since then. I don’t want to make the situation more awkward than it already is. However, he claims that our friendship will only be awkward if I make it that way. I’d rather not lose a good friend over a missed love connection but after being rejected how can I just sit around acting like being “just friends” is fine for me? What’s the next step after rejection from a friend?
Thanks for writing the letter to me. I am always humbled by submissions to Open Friday. Well let’s get right into it!! This is a situation that you may have to charge to the game and stay sound in your friendship. They say that the person you are to be with is supposed to be with is supposed to be your best friend but does it always work out like that? NO. With all of that being said, If you can’t be “just friends” with him I would say be honest with yourself and keep the relationship on a strictly hi and bye basis. But, if he is truly your friend and you value that relationship then you won’t mess up that thing.
Thinking about this even more maybe he put you into the friend zone because of his own personal preferences that have NOTHING to do with you. It also could be the case that he isn’t emotionally or mentally available for you and he respects you too much to not be on some BS with you. I am not gonna sit here and front to you. There are women at one point in my life that I didn’t pursue in my life because I know I was going to be not be in the right state of mind. Understand that there can be a multitude of reasons for saying that he just wanted to be friends. Sometimes we don’t get things when we want them. Just cause he is saying no now just mean its no forever. I would say keep doing your thing and value the friendship for what it is right now. Take what he said as what he means and like I said before if the friendship means that much to you than you will be cool “with being just a friend”
What do you think about Petite’s situation with being “just a friend”? Chime in?
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He’s protecting you woman… Roll with it…
I say, if you are going to remain helplessly in love with him, distance is the best medicine. A lot of times a woman will say, “we´re just friends”, when she is really hoping the guy will “wake up” and “realize” she is the best one for him. Then from there the woman starts bending over backwards for him, starts to reek of desperation and eventually her energy becomes to heavy for the guy to put up with. Do him and yourself a favor and *Do You*. Focus on your work, your interests, conquer that fear you always had and learn something new. That way, no matter what happens (he comes around or never takes an interest in you) you wouldn’t have wasted your life away pining after someone who, at this time, is not interested in a romantic relationship. If you can HONESTLY be “just friends” then do that, but the minute you find yourself trying to “always be available” so he will “realize” you’re the one. Get outta there and quick!
You said it all! The only thing I would add is to get out there and date! The sting of his rejection will lessen when you are presented with the fact that he is not the only man out there that finds you worthy of investing time and energy. Then perhaps you can be friends again, after a cooling-off period.
Blow him and see his reaction to it. You will know all from that what is going on
I believe that its ok to remain just friends. Being rejected is sometimes tough to deal with for both sexes, but if your friends it should be easy to remain as such.
Wow, this is similar to a predicament I was in years ago regarding one of my closest male friends. The only difference is that he sent out signals that he was interested in me, but when I finally let him know how I felt, so many reasons came up that deterred the progress. I did keep my distance for a while based on the rejection, at first, but as time went on, I saw that he was doing me a favor. For in his dealings with his ex-wife and current wife, I saw traits that if I was actually his girlfriend, I wouldn’t tolerate. So it may not always be best to want to be “the one”. 18 years is a lot of friendship to throw away, and it’s something I feel is more valuable than finding out whether he and I would have been perfect for each other.
Bank had it right! Try to Give him some head and watch his reaction. If he lets you, you got a shot. If he says no, sorry Charlie!
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The quickest way to bounce back from rejection is to indulge in acceptance. Get around friends who adore you for you. Date men who adore you for you. Tell yourself how amazing you are with or without getting what you “think” you may want out of a relationship with your friend. And give yourself from distance from the object of your current heartache. It will get better
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