This past week the internet has gone en fuego and when I been en fuego I been seriously hot after a video went viral of Nathanial Gay a member of Kappa Alpha Psi fraternity getting married to another man. Yeah the gay marriage thing again has come up once again. People in Greek letter organizations to people all over social networking sites have chimed in on their feelings about the wedding. This isn’t going to be a post about gay marriage and relationships because I spoke about that recently in my post “How You Worried About Gay Marriage When the Rent’s Too Damn High”. This post is going to delve into our true acceptance of gay marriage or not because at the end of the day I feel that to people getting married regardless of sex doesn’t have much to do with my life. What I began to think about is how would I feel if my son or one of my closest friends wanted me to be in their same-sex wedding? It is easy for us to say we are for or against same-sex marriage until it is put into our own home.
After watching the video I am not going to front the video was uncomfortable for me to watch at first. I then began to realize how laid out these brothas nuptials were. Most of the women I knew were either upset their wedding wasn’t as beautiful as that or wanted their wedding to be like that. I mean let’s keep it regardless of your views of gay men they always have things laid out. But, the thing that really hit home to me was what one of the people on my Facebook page asked me. He asked me “How would I feel if my future son wanted you to walk him down the aisle with him and give him away to marry man? Would I do it or just attend the ceremony?”
It was a very ill question I had never really been confronted with before. I am definitely alright if two people of the same-sex want to get married because it’s their choice but how would I feel if it was in my midst is the question. I honestly really don’t know how I feel about the situation. I would hope that I would be able to stand by my son or friend and be supportive but I am going to be honest and say I would not be uncomfortable with the situation. I know as far as I know I don’t have any close friends or family members who are gay and for as many weddings I have been in or to the last few years I have never even been to a gay wedding so have my ideas on gay marriage really been challenged?
I guess I would compare the feeling to how some white people felt during the Civil Rights movement. They were alright and okay with Black people having the same rights but may have had issues when those same black people started moving into their neighborhoods and their children and grandchildren marrying black people. There was an overwhelming amount of people who fought and advocated for Civil Rights but they necessarily want that blackness in their family or as their next door neighbor. I am not saying my deconstruction is that extreme but I understand it’s easy to say you are for or against something as long as you are insulated away from it.
My co-host on my podcast Straight Outta LoCash Jovan Bibbs and I have an ongoing joke about how we wouldn’t be in a gay man’s wedding because he may want us to escort “Maurice” down the aisle and that we would come up with some reason why we couldn’t walk with him at the rehearsal. Jovan would say “Uh, You really don’t need me to walk with Maurice right because I can just be an usher?”
But, in all seriousness I come back to the question that was proposed to me and I continually don’t have an answer but this is something I definitely know that can happen. Would I love my son, daughter, or friend any less of they were gay? If I truly had love for them why would I not be there for them? I may not understand it but is it my issue to be comfortable with? I mean it is two consenting adults who want to get married not a man named Dan marrying a Buffalo from Wyoming. I am in support of gay people getting married but how much support am I willing to give to their wedding and relationship is the question. I know as a progressive man I could handle the situation but at the same time I still really don’t know how much I would be involved.
How do you feel about being involded in a gay wedding? Would you be apart of one for your close family member or friend if they asked you?
Also make sure you check out this week’s episode of the “Straight Outta Lo Cash” Radio Show. This week’s show “Jumping the Broom” with guest author Terry Bams. Also you can check us out live at 7PM CST on trifultoonesfm.com. You can also subscribe to the show on I-Tunes or listen on your Android, I-Phone, I-Pad or Black berry of Stitcher Radio.