A few weeks ago I was having one of those days where I began to reevaluate who I am and where I am going. I found myself laying in the bed looking at the ceiling listening to Nina Simone wallowing in a state of past purgatory. I was sitting there floundering over some mistakes or missteps in my past. I sat there listening to Jazz and writing for a few days in a perpetual state of self-pity, self-abusive, and self-loathing. I finally snapped out of it and kept things moving but a few days ago. I realized that WE are our own worst enemy. That little man(or woman) talking to you in your head can be your worse friend even worse than that friend you had in 1st grade that took your He-Man coloring book.
The government, racism, sexism, BET, and Tyler Perry are not our worst enemies. Our worst enemy is the person we look at every morning in the mirror as we get ready for our day. We talk to ourselves and treat ourselves so bad by beating ourselves up over our past and current situations. We never ever get to enjoy the happiness and opportunities that are right there in front of us because we are talking crazy to ourselves. Think about it like this if one of your friends treated and talked to you like we do. I am for damn sure you wouldn’t be friends with that person. So, why do we continually talk to ourselves like that?
I have learned in a small amount of time on this earth that the biggest battle we have in life is versus ourselves. How we are able to move forward from our past will make our present day better. We sit and harp about the past relationship mistakes, career mistakes, and life choices that we made. One of the questions is how long will we be a slave to our past and let it affect our future? Yes, you never forget the past but will you stay looking in the rearview mirror so long that you don’t have a chance to look at the beautiful things around you are that potentially in your future?
We take this ideal to another level because we begin to be our own self-sabotage because we sit and wallow in our pain that we begin to bring that negative energy more into our life. We start to be down on ourselves and our situation when it may not even be the case in our lives. Instead of thinking about what we don’t have. Let’s be happy and appreciative of things we do have in life. That little man in our head can be our worst enemy. That man will make us think things are worse than they are to the point that we will those ill things into fruition. We can push away great people and great opportunities by carrying that negative energy with us.
I find myself getting upset about some bad decision or BS move I made back in ’99. I began to trip off the fact that much of the problems I harbor are a result of ME not looking at the great things I have done in my life instead of the bad. The other night I sat down and wrote a long list of all the dope things I have done and accomplished in my life and then I made a list of all the real bad things I had done. What I did next was burn the list of those bad things and put the list of good things in a folder a put it in a safe place. The idea was a symbolic thing for me letting go of my past and being happy with where I am now. How can I be ready for what great opportunities I have in front of me if I continue to be a victim of my on doubts? How can I be totally open to love when I can’t even get past my own duplicitous conscience?
We sometimes wonder why bad things always happen to us. I challenge you to take that ideal out of your head and be appreciative of the things you do have in your life. We have to learn to not beat ourselves up about our life. We all have things we are dealing with it our life. How much are you going to keep reliving the bad things in your life instead of recognizing the great things you have done and are doing now? We are the conductor of our own happiness. Be aware of yourself talk and how you are treating yourself everyday because that self talk can be the reflection of the way the world treats you. It’s a never-ending struggle of Just know that there is always a movie playing in your head and you can choose to watch that movie or change the channel.
Also make sure you check out this week’s episode of the “Straight Outta Lo Cash” Radio Show. This week’s show “Embracing and Enticing the Thirst” with model Mika Sha.You can also subscribe to the show on I-Tunes or listen on your Android, I-Phone, I-Pad or Black berry of Stitcher Radio.