Open Friday: I Want My EX Back But I Have One BIG Problem…

Dear FATC,

So I’ve asked only a couple of peoples opinions about this, but a stranger would be so much better. I dated a man for 7 months but during these 7 months I was seeing my ex of 3 years here and there he knew about me and this guy and we would sometimes talk about getting back together. I called it off with this guy but he would beg for me back. Ask me to go to dinner and what not. I would feel bad for him and I would end up going. He’s a really nice guy, has a lot of money, and a huge heart. But I’m head over heels for my ex. I got pregnant and unfortunately it’s not by my ex it is by the guy I have dated for 7 months. I finally made it known that I’m pregnant but I will not be with this guy. My ex still wants to see me and I love being in his presence he’s unsure about a relationship considering all the stuff I’m going to have to go through with the father…I’m in love with my ex but he’s not the dad PLEASE help me???? Could it actually work with me and my ex of we both say were in love with each other.

Sincerely,

Loves Hangover

This is an interesting situation either it be right or wrong happens to many of us (maybe not to your severity with a pregnancy). Many of us leave one relationship before fully being ready for another romantic situation. We sometimes need to reassess the previous relationship and sort out our emotions. What many of us do and seems like you did was break up with your ex and instead of confronting your emotions you ran out and tried to get another man to feel the void of the ex. You can cheat yourself and the new man in the long run because you are frontin’ to the idea that you are emotionally available when you haven’t divested from your ex.

In concerns to your situation as Bill Cosby said on an episode of The Cosby Show, “You In a Hell of a Fix Now.” Yeah, you really do have yourself in a love triangle worse the Bermuda triangle.  One red flag from your letter was your description of the new man you are pregnant by the only things you said was that he was a nice guy and had some paper. This new guy who you basically “rebounded” with isn’t someone you wanted to ever be with he just fit some esoteric feeling that you thought you should be having about him. The reason I say this is that just because you are nice and have a few chips doesn’t mean he was compatible with you  Sometimes we leave those loose ends out there of former exes and lovers without fully closing that chapter. You seemed to be in a situation I described before about my ex being my bad habit.

I am going to keep it 2 X Funky with you. I can only speak for myself and some men I know but, your ex probably won’t want to be with you now while you are carrying another man’s child. Not saying he may not decided to come back to you at some point but now while you are pregnant by another man’s shorty. You are gonna find it hard pressed for most men to accept that situation. It is hard enough to get a man to accept another man’s child that is already here let alone while you are pregnant with that man’s child.

But, I do have a few questions though that you may need to ask yourself:

-Why did you and with your ex break up in the first place? Why haven’t you all been able to get back together before you got involved with the new man?

-Have you let the new man know where your emotional and mental place is?

-Have you thought about just sitting back and handling your pregnancy before thinking about this turbulent relationship predicament you have you put yourself in?

You have to be cognizant of the fact that you may have ruined that relationship with your ex by getting pregnant by the new guy. You were playing a sticky game bait and switch with both men and have to accept those repercussions and move forward.

What are your thoughts? Weigh in on Open Friday!!!

Make sure you check out this week’s episode of the “Straight Outta Lo Cash” Radio Show. This week’s show “Let’s Get Upfront and Straightforward” with special guest author, dating coach, and radio personality Alan Roger Curie. You can also subscribe to the show on I-Tunes or listen on your Android, I-Phone, I-Pad or Black berry with Stitcher Radio

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10 responses to “Open Friday: I Want My EX Back But I Have One BIG Problem…

  1. This broad dumb as hell to think her ex would take her back after she got a baby by the next man!! This chicks be delirious thinking they can dowhatever and just come crawling back after being ran through hither and tither but other man! You need to make it work out with the new dude or just keep it pushing and chalk it up as a lesson learned of keeping your legs closed to every dude

  2. If her and the ex couldn’t work it out after all this time they sure as hell won’t now. She sounds like one of them chicks who can’t be alone. Soon enough the ex will disappear and she’ll either “make do” with the new guy or find someone else. She needs to sit her azz down somewhere and worry about preparing for this child.

  3. I feel so sorry for the baby-to-be because this woman is selfish and ridiculous in her situation. I wish I could say more but damn, as men the 2 guys will never be cool about this but as we all know the ex will move on eventually and she will be playing mommy, and wifey to 2 people who she didn’t choose. Happens every day.

  4. Man! This is life craziness but I’ve seen this all too many times… If the connection is that strong, they will eventually get back together. But she has to be real to all parties involved…point blank. If she’s not, its only going to less to her being alone.

  5. This chick is beyone playing herself!! This is a situation that can get real VRY fast if she don’t watch herself!! Slow Down like Brand Nubian said!

  6. Pingback: Open Friday: I’m In Love With Two Women « From Ashy to Classy·

  7. Pingback: Its Hard For Someone to Accept Love When They Don’t Love Themselves « From Ashy to Classy·

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