The Person You Should Be MAD At Is Right In the Mirror

We live in a society inundated with the idea of self-absorption and self-victimization. Some people constantly walk around in a state of perpetual “woe is me” being. People are always upset or mad at someone else for something in their lives. People blame their ex for a relationship failing, blame others for the reason they are always in some drama like Knots Landing, or blame society for them not succeeding or going as far as they feel they should have. The truth is the person you should be MAD at is the person you like that every morning in the mirror…YOU!

That ME thing is something that w have twisted in our mind. We want everything to be about us and for us until it comes down to taking the onus or blame in our own lives. We want people to do everything we want them to do with no adherence to what WE should be doing. I am a firm believer that sometimes we deserve the situation we are in because like I have said before WE ARE OUR WORST ENEMY.

Be Mad AT You… For Bad Relationships

For instance, in relationships many times our relationships are sh*** not just because of the other person but also because we are deficient ourselves at something.  We have become a society of people who don’t want to struggle or build with someone in a relationship. We want everything to feel right all the time and to run like Love Jones. Then if we do try to build with someone we pick the worst and wackest people to decide to want to deal with.  We pass by great situations “cause it didn’t always feel” right for the situation that “feels right” but is wholeheartedly wrong for us (see The Marcus Graham Chronicles).  We have cut off so many of the great people in our lives for trivial reasons that its poetic justice that we are in relationship purgatory. After all of these burned bridges we want to say that it is all someone else’s fault we are single or unhappy.  People  never want to sit back and take self-inventory we just keep moving from relationship to relationship playing the blame game with the wrong person NO, the person at fault is right there in the mirror.

Be Mad At You… For Your Career Sucking

When it comes to our problems we never want to look at the person that we see the most everyday…OURSELVES. We aren’t happy in our career so we want to blame or be mad at the system when it’s not all the systems fault you don’t have the career or money you want.  To make anything happen or prosper you have to live, breathe, and eat it and even in doing that you may not get where you want. Are you really living and breathing and going hard on what you want out of life. Do you wake up in the morning and feel sick when you aren’t doing the things you NEED and Should be doing? Are you just haphazardly trying something instead of doing it? Are you putting yourself in position to make things happen for you? If you aren’t then who are you MAD at? Are you just what I have talked about before trying and not doing?  That’s right the person you see every day in the rearview mirror.

Be Mad at You…For Always Being in Drama

How patient are you in situations? What negative energy are you putting out there? What negative and ill-willed choices are YOU making? I have always believed that some of the negative things that we encounter are repercussions of the negative energy and decisions we have made in our lives.  Here is a story on patience and our lives I want you to take in:

A man was coming back from war and couldn’t wait to see his wife that he hadn’t seen in years. He walked up the steps and saw in the window his wife embracing another man. He was enraged that his wife was with other man and went to go get a gun to kill them.  He couldn’t believe that his wife could do this to him after all he had done for her. He went to his father’s to get a gun and his father told him that in drastic or big decision you should wait 72 hrs. and if you felt the same way to go ahead and do what you have to do. The man stayed at his father’s for 3 days and simmered about the fact that his wife was with another man why he was off fighting a war.  On Day 3 he was still enraged so he grabbed his father’s gun and rushed to his home.  He saw his wife folding up clothes that he knew had to be for a grown man…probably the new guy she was sleeping with. He pulled his gun and started to open the door and as he opened the door. He heard a voice from behind him “Dad!! Is that you??!!” The man turned around to see the man he saw in the window running towards him and hugging him. If he had not been patient the man would have entered his home and killed both his wife and son.

I am going to let that story simmer on the pot for you like Greens on Tuesday before Thanksgiving…

How much drama are you putting in your life at your own behest by making impulsive decisions and not being patient to see what is happening first? Are you bringing that negative energy to yourself by wanting things to happen so fast for you? Things in this world don’t happen in a vacuum and come over time. I have minimized my impulsive thought and rash decisions by looking at successful things: relationships, careers, business, spirituality, etc and the one common reason is that none of them happen right away and that they are all a process.  The blaming of other people and things has to be stopped. There are things to be happy about in life but the first way to that happens is taking the blame for your problems and effectively attacking and mediating ourselves. Don’t forget just because we aren’t where we want to be doesn’t mean anything but maybe it wasn’t OUR TIME. By it is time for us to start looking at the man/woman in the mirror.

Make sure you check out this week’s episode of the “Straight Outta Lo Cash” Radio Show. This week’s show ” What’s Love Got to Do With It?” with graphic artist and hip hop culturalist Rhasad “Shadzilla” Whittier”. You can also subscribe to the show on I-Tunes or listen on your Android, I-Phone, I-Pad or Black berry with Stitcher Radio

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20 responses to “The Person You Should Be MAD At Is Right In the Mirror

  1. So glad that someone finally put it out there. I tell my friends all the time, mostly female friends, that it is YOUR fault. The sooner you realize that and stop blaming everyone else, the sooner you can be happy. HAPPINESS IS A CHOICE. Its a shame most dont choose it more..Great Blog!

  2. This isn’t just a FEMALE issue here….it is a human issue. “The blaming of other people and things has to be stopped.” This is just…I can’t really put a finger on it. Not all bad situations in your life is just….your fault. This blog is leaving out that sometimes it isn’t your fault. Sometimes people who like to do wrong things to others want to turn it around on the victim so that they can sleep at night. True…taking responsibility for some actions should be practiced, but you don’t know why someone has done what they have done unless you walk a mile in their shoes.

    This blog here is really just ridiculous to me. You have to be mad at you for a bad relationship. What happens if it isn’t your fault that you didn’t know that your boyfriend was a secret drug user…or murdered someone…or a repeat cheater. Do you really want to work hard in that relationship to make it work? How do you “work hard” to make it work? Would you work hard to make it work? “There are things to be happy about in life but the first way to that happens is taking the blame for your problems and effectively attacking and mediating ourselves.” So…what you are saying is…if you are born ugly…it is your fault that you can’t land a boyfriend/girlfriend and accept that gaining a relationship might or won’t happen.

    What this blog also says to me is that everyone that comes into my life is “angel”. We all know that that isn’t true…not by a long-shot. Also, this blog sounds like a white guy telling the black community to take responsibility for the misfortune that they are going through.

    • No this post is saying nothing that you are saying id you have read any of my other posts you would know all that I am saying is farther than the truth. I said more than a few times in the post that things aren’t your fault BUT most people do neglect to realize their fault in situations. We choose who we are with. Things happen but to sit and take on the idea that its someone else s fault totally and not take any ONUS is the whole reason I was inspired to write this piece. Life is more complicated than angels and demons. As Aldous Huxley said “Every sinner has a past and every saint has a future”.

    • Love love love this post D!!! Everything isn’t always our fault be we have recognize our fault in situatuons to get closer to happiness!! The part that talked about I ended up in a shitty relationship because I passed over great people! That really hit home!!

      • If you recognize your faults, are you closer to happiness? How do you pass up great relationships to end up in a shitty one? Wouldn’t you have to say that all of those relationships were shitty but you are trying to see some good in the past shitty relationships?

        • You are doing a lot of deflection here because all of us men and women have passed over people that were good people and goof for us for a situation that wasn’t as favorable. You keep getting hung it seems up the idea of taking responbility. You are digging too deep into the idea of responsibility. I don’t see why you are taking this so personal. Take the lesson from this and throw away what you don’t think applies to your situation

        • You sound if you been ran through a lot and want to blame men for being ran through! Stay in your state of post hoe and blame men for ot bliss

    • You didn’t read the post for real did you? All of your statements are exactly what he is talking about? You chose to be in some of those situations take the onus learn from it and move forward SMDH!!

  3. This is some truth right here!! Things happen to.all of us but what about the things we bring on ourselves everyday but blame other people for?

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  5. I totally agree. It’s never constructive to place *blame* in the first place which is why I like that you don’t say it’s not about whose fault it is. Instead, the focus is on how we as individuals Contribute to the situations in our lives. Some people are getting sensitive because they are worried about “fault”. If you take “fault” out of it and just look at it as “contribution” you can start and see how you “contributed” to the outcome. Like a commenter mentioned about not knowing if a man was a repeat cheater or secret drug user. No, it’s not your fault if you didn’t know. Fault isn’t the issue, but do you stay in the relationship? Were there signs? What was it in you that connected with someone with a secret life in the first place? Do you learn from the experience to not be so easily fooled the next time? It’s not about fault, it’s about what part you play in the situation. If you practice reflecting on how you could have showed up better in past life situations you will find yourself evolving in character and making better decisions in the future. Loved this!

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