When a man asks a woman out, to bed, or to anything outside of friendship-level interaction often times it turns into a complicated stand-off akin to the old westerns when good versus evil stared each other down with 6-shooters.
It becomes such a mentally exhausting exercise that women run to sites like this one (or forums) to see how they can “let him down easily” and the guy ends up getting the signals all messed up because she opts to go for a baby tap on his nose versus the knockout blow that he expects. This is why the friend-zone exists ladies and gentlemen; we men are dealt a response that leans towards future hope when in reality the woman isn’t feeling us now and probably never will.
When we talked to men about the aspect of rejection the answer was almost concert in that a hard “NO” is much more acceptable than a light brush-off with compliments. Women fear the thought of being labeled a “bitch” or a “life-crusher” so much so that they tend to go with the flawed notion of letting us down easily.
Look ladies, the only way you can let a man down easily is to say “yes” and if you aren’t going to say “yes” then leave the compliments and the excuses at the door.
Just say it with me
- No, I don’t want to be your girlfriend
- No, I don’t want to marry you
- No, you can’t have sex with me and you probably never will… so don’t ask anymore
I know it seems cruel, harsh and evil but you know what? You will give that man a clean slate to work with so that he can move on with his life. Just like a woman needs closure after a man dumps her, a man needs closure when a woman rejects him.
The only time you should look to explain yourself is if asked – which a number of guys will do because it’s so embarrassingly awkward. You can try a nice cute smile at that point, followed by silence – which will end the inquiry immediately, or you can engage in 30 minutes worth of meaningless conversation if he’s that much of a loser to stand there begging. The ball is always in your court… so why play?
The fact of the matter is that as men we will respect you more for a hard NO versus a drawn out bout of excuses where we end up finding out that your statement of “I’m just not ready for a relationship right now” is a lie after you end up engaged in a month or two. Just keep it real and we will be okay.
So if you’re a woman reading this, wondering at how to turn down your neighbor of 15 years who you know is about to ask you out because he figures he has a crush on you… just be straight. Keep it simple, tell him that you aren’t interested in him for a boyfriend and call it a day.
Make sure you check out this week’s episode of the “Straight Outta Lo Cash” Radio Show. This week’s show “Welcome to Sweetie Pies” w/ guest and co-star of the show Jenae Wallick. You can also subscribe to the show on I-Tunes or listen on your Android, I-Phone, or I-Pad with Stitcher Radio.