The moment we realize that the person we cared about doesn’t feel the same about us can be a hard pill to swallow. Many times we will overly blame ourselves or overly blame the other person when it can be simply be a deeper personal issue. Happiness sometimes can seem like an esoteric thing that all of us can try to strive for every day. People ascertain happiness in their own way and ideals. These things can change and evolve over time. Have you been with someone and you tried your damnest to make them happy? When it comes to relationships we strive to make the other person happy or try to make their walk on this earth a little better. One of the most important things I have learned over the years is that if someone doesn’t love who they are there is nothing you can do to make them happier or to love you.
I know the concept sounds simple as hell but let me put it into perspective for you. In relationships if we truly care for the person we want them to happy because their happiness is important to us. Cynics may say that we want them to be happy because making them happy gives us satisfaction but that’s not where I am going with this post. Internal struggle is one of the biggest wars we fight every day. The fight with who you are and where you are going is a constant fight we all have. It takes some effort to be happy with whom we are. And let’s keep it real we all aren’t walking around happy with ourselves every day. With that being said we as people can care for someone so much that we want more happiness for them than they even may want.
Relationships go through their ups and downs and I am by no means saying just because the person isn’t acting the way you want them to that they have don’t love themselves but in many cases they are. People go through their own trials and tribulations and this reflects on their relationships with those around them. We can when a person is in bad place in their life and many times we put on our cape (shout out to E-40) and try to get to saving them.
Some things that people do have no explanation and many times don’t have a damn thing to do with us. We can try to prove our love and be there for them but it doesn’t matter what you do or say because they aren’t happy with their situation or who they are you will never be able to satisfy them. They may even say to themselves that you aren’t doing enough or that it may be something wrong with you(which it very well could be a compatibility thing) but at the core of it all they may not be happy with who they are. We never can know the true demons some people are conquering in their life and we have to understand that we can only do so much to prove our love or prove we are the one to make them happy.
Lauryn Hill had a song “When It Hurts So Bad” that shows how happiness in a relationship is all in our state of mind and being she said
What you want might make you cry
What you need might pass you by
If you don’t catch it,
If you don’t catch it,
And what you need ironically
Will turn out what you want to be
If you just let it,
If you just let it
Like Lauryn said one of the hardest things to do is separating what you want from what you need. I spoke about this before in a Marcus Graham Chronicles entry. It’s hard to even understand the difference and duplicity between those two ideas. Then mix that all in with someone being happy with who they are and it can become a trepid situation. When it comes to relationships the hardest thing to do is to truly look and see the other person’s perspective on things. For instance when a person continuously disrespects our feelings we have to look at who they are instead of who we want them to be. We sometimes push our wants on a person instead of seeing what we need or can really get from the person.
We all hate someone takes our love for granted but maybe it has nothing to do with us. I have always believed that a person’s actions shows how their heart really feels. I believe this to be nothing but the truth. But, one of the biggest questions is how can a person show love if they don’t even love themselves? After thinking about that question then also ask yourself: Are you even loving yourself enough to accept love?
Make sure you check out this week’s episode of the “Straight Outta Lo Cash” Radio Show. This week’s show “Pop a Molly…I’m Sweatin”w/ guest Matt Whitener. You can also subscribe to the show on I-Tunes or listen on your Android, I-Phone, or I-Pad with Stitcher Radio.