I’ve talked to a lot of people in my life. People from all different backgrounds, countries, nationality, personality and so forth. Comments that never seems to change when I’m talking and asking questions about growing up is: Oh, not where I came from, I didn’t have much growing up. Some people don’t know what it feels like to not have food, water, lights, etc.
Some people grew up with a silver spoon in their mouth, then we have the ones who grew up with 5/6 people in a one bedroom house, 3 brothers sleeping in one room with one of them sleeping in the bottom drawer of a dresser, sleeping head to toe with five people in the bed, going to bed without dinner, no heat, water, or moving in the middle of the night.
Sometimes it’s hard to connect with people because we feel that they don’t understand what the hell we went through growing up and what sacrifices we made to get what we have now. They didn’t have to struggle to make ends meet, only one pair of shoes, pants, no winter coat, not enough beds for everyone. We have that feeling unless you have been put out of your home, roaches & mice crawling around, house falling apart, not having enough dinner for everyone to eat, or whatever the case might have been that they truly don’t understand what we went through growing up.
Having a conversation with someone who didn’t grow up poor and expecting them to understand where we are coming from is sometimes hard to do. We rather keep doing things on our own, or keep the reasons why we don’t want help to ourselves.
Since we had to do without and struggled growing up it seems a lot easier for us to push certain people away when they want to help us, because we know how to deal with not having much, how to make it on what we have now…. and half of the time we are thinking to ourselves….I got this, I don’t want your help.
We may even catch an attitude then start asking ourselves…. how dare them? This person doesn’t know the first thing about not having it. It’s not that we don’t appreciate their offer, because we do, but where we came from it just seems reasonable to us not to accept their offer to help.
Deep down we know that people truly want to help us out the kindness of their hearts, but the way we think makes it hard for us to keep those negative thoughts from coming up in our heads. Now, that we are adults we have that mentality that since we grew up not having much we learn to stand on our own, learn to do without, and try not to get to comfortably saying yes when someone wants to help us.
Sooner or later we have to come to the conclusion that having less doesn’t mean we are less, and it’s ok to accept help, because where we came from got us where we are today.
This guest post is courtesy of Tonya Mooney and she can be reached on twitter @nappy4life.
Make sure you check out this week’s episode of the “Straight Outta Lo Cash” Radio Show. This week’s show “B****, I’m Mis Talented” feat hip hop artist Vandalyzm . You can also subscribe to the show on I-Tunes or listen on your Android, I-Phone, or I-Pad with Stitcher Radio.