Love the new layout and design of the site! Well let me get right into my question. I have dated a guy for about a year and he is a fantastic man who I love deeply but the problem is that he travels and works too much. I want to be able to see him more than I do. He is in sales and has to travel a whole lot but I don’t know how much longer I can deal with the situation being like this. He does the best that he can to spend time with me and take care of me (he has even paid my rent a few months). I really do want more time and attention from him. I asked him to find another job in our city so we can see each other more often. He said he will try but he is asking me to just hold him down because he is trying to build up his career. My question is basically am I wrong for thinking he is not serious about our relationship since he won’t try to find a job so that we can be in the same city and see each other more than once or twice a week? I think if he loves and cares for me as much as he says he does than wouldn’t he do this for our relationship? Wouldn’t he do this for me? I just don’t know how long I can deal with this situation. If he doesn’t make a move soon then I may have to leave him. I can’t be waiting forever for this man. II feel so neglected and not listened to for my desires.
Appreciate seeing your thoughts D
Thanks for writing in and the compliment on the new layout and digs. I am working on some other things too you will see in the future as well. But, let’s get right into your letter….
I have to say off top and this is with all due respect that you have some ridiculous expectations going on now. So, he is supposed to drop his high paying job that has him traveling just because you don’t see him more than once or twice a week?? Most couples that are both grinding and trying to make things happen may only see each other once or twice a week! I question how deeply you love this dude or do you like the idea of loving him. In your letter I see a lot of things talking about you all as a couple but most of it is about YOU not you all as a unit. Is this a relationship for YOU or We and don’t confuse the difference because there is one.
It’s funny because you state that he makes up for it by treating you great and paying your rent. He was doing that I am sure out of his love and kindness of his heart not to make up for him not seeing you enough. I am going to go out on a limb and say you are probably nag the hell out of him and are one of those women who have a template in their mind of how the relationship should go. How long does he have to find another job in ya’ll city before you bounce?
On the real I think you really don’t want to be with him anymore and just are trying to find some reason for not being with him. I have always believed that some people’s actions are not in a cause and effect basis. What do I mean by this? Sometimes people ALREADY wanted to cheat, leave, creep, etc but needed a developed causation in their mind to justify their actions. You want more attention and time spent with your mate and that is a great thing but I would ask you to think about are you just making this an issue because you aren’t ready to be with him? Because if he is a fantastic guy and love him as you have stated then you will find a way to make this situation work. But, if you really don’t want to be with him and feel you can get better just go ahead and do like Isaac Hayes said and “Walk On By”.
What do you all think about this Open Friday Letter?? Chime in with your thoughts
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