The Right Man/Woman IS NOT Going to Make You A Better Person

The other day I was watching the movie As Good as It Gets with Jack Nicholson and Helen Hunt. There is a scene in the movie where Nicholson’s character says to Helen Hunt that she makes him want to be a better man and person. I sat there nodding in agreement at the statement but then I really began to think about it and realized it maybe one of the most BS statements that we can sometimes make about our own self inventory and growth.  Many of us believe that a certain person will make us want to be a certain way or live a “good” life, or change and want to settle down but that maybe the farthest thing from the truth. The idea of The Right Man/Woman is NOT Going to Make You Be a Better Person is only half of the story.

couple boundingHow many times have we heard someone say? “

She made me want to be a better man”


“He made me want to be a better woman”?

We have all heard it and it has been a pinnacle for some people to want to take their life in a different direction.  People will say I won’t be into drugs, into a lot of women/men, containing anger, money management, etc. And many people do find someone who makes things click in their lives. While I am not saying that people can no influence your life for the better there has to be some point where a person has to grow to a point ON THEIR own to be a different type of person.  Are you even working to become a better person so that someone can even make you a better man or woman?

When people propagate that a person has to come into their life and change them it takes away all the personal accountability and personal development of that singular person. It makes it a copout situation where someone can always say “I mean no one has come into my life to want me to change my life.” We are all effected my those around us for good or bad but there has to be change or want to change oneself for themselves at some point.

The biggest battle is YOURSELF only YOU can make you better. A man or woman can only compliment you and accentuate you but the only way that YOU can become a better person is by taking self accountability and battling with the biggest enemy you have…YOURSELF.  If you are changing for the sake of someone else you are only doing this change for them and missing the process of evolution.

Love is the most powerful thing in the world and it can change the world we see around us dramatically. But, sometimes it doesn’t matter if we see all the love around us if we don’t embrace it. There isn’t a magical person who is going to around and love us and then poof we want to be a better person.  Like I have said before “a person will never be able to accept love until they love themselves”. Yes, a person can make us change but the biggest point is that we understand that we need to make a change to not only.  So for you to be a better person is indicative on another person? I’m sorry to tell you that you probably will be waiting for this person to come into your life just like the Heaven’s Gate Cult was waiting for that comet.

Portrait of happy coupleWhat will the change be for if it just for the other person? What if the person who made you change somehow fails you will you continue to be the right person? Is it all contingent on them? The thing is that we are all humans and will fail each other just as much love but if you haven’t been able to make the changes on your own keep it alive?  Will you go back to that worse person you are just because the person you believed in failed you?

We all make changes in relationships for the better (sometimes for the worse) and it can be a beautiful thing, but to put everything into the belief that only a person can change your life. The change comes first within yourself and is fueled through the relationship to take who you to higher heights. Yes, someone can love you and make you better BUT at the end of the day you have to want to be better regardless of how much the other person may want you to.

Make sure you check out this week’s episode of the “Straight Outta Lo Cash” Radio Show. This week’s show “Welcome to The Terrordome” with guest Aye Verb. You can also subscribe to the show on I-Tunes or listen on your Android, I-Phone, or I-Pad with Stitcher Radio.

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9 responses to “The Right Man/Woman IS NOT Going to Make You A Better Person

  1. Great article! I’m not a believer in change… To quote Jay-Z: “you can try to change but that’s just the top layer / Man, you was who you was ‘fore you got here”

    I think adults can put on a good mask but underneath you’re still you. People don’t make you better, they can just make you pretend to be better.

  2. I guess I can see your point but I truly believe that a woman makes a man better and makes him see the way of the world and be better. Just most men don’t have the sense nowadays to realize it

  3. He said she makes him WANT to be a better man. That I completely understand. Whether or not he works on becoming a better man is an entirely different story…

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