You Are Just “Too Cool” For Your Own Happiness

Coolness is a part of what we all want toto some extent in our lives.  Most people want acceptance or the ability to feel like we are being looked at in a favorable way by people. One of the issues becomes when our “coolness” begins to get in the way of the happiness we ultimately want out of our lives. People always say they are too good for this, they are too good for that. They won’t do this and they won’t do that. What will you do then? When does our idea of wanting to be cool get in the way of our happiness? The truth of the matter is that most of us are too cool for our own happiness.

black-man-thinking-400x450The desire for us to be “cool”, the fear of rejection, or not being right can be many of the reasons that we don’t have happiness or success on many fronts. I was listening to the Combat Jack Show a few weeks ago and Combat Jack was talking about how he had to let his idea of being “ too cool”. He said his “coolness” was preventing him from going after guests and doing things certain things with his podcast that he wanted to accomplished. He felt that he didn’t want to look a certain way for being persistent or even asking people period. What he said really stuck out to me. I then started to realize that the fear of rejection or the idea of saying I am “too cool” many times prevents our growth as a person. When someone says are acts if “they are too cool” for something really all they are saying is “I have too much pride”.

“A proud man is always looking down on things and people; and, of course, as long as you are looking down, you cannot see something that is above you.”

― C.S. Lewis

What cool really boils down to is simply having too much pride. Pride and cool go hand in hand and our pride can be our best friend but can also be our worst enemy. Pride has many great and positive connotations but it also is a thin line between the good and the bad. The dark side of pride is our ability to have form of an inflated sense of one’s personal status or accomplishments and it also refers to a satisfied sense of attachment toward one’s own or another’s choices and actions. Pride can also start to meld into vanity. This why people want to exude the idea that they are “cool” so much even to their detriment because they have a false sense that they are above everyone else.

Many of us as the old school saying are “too cool for school”. The meaning of that saying comes from someone believing they are better than the other person or situation. We have to really dissect what we feel we are “better than”. What are you really better than? From my observation  the people who have been able to find some sense of happiness in a relationship, business, career, or parenting is their ability to understand that in life “love is stronger than pride”. It’s funny because the times we need to give more to a situation is when we feel like we are getting the upper hand and not playing ourselves but really that is when we are playing ourselves the most.

Black woman admiring herselfHave you given up on an opportunity you really wanted or could maybe help you because you felt you didn’t need to do it or it was beneath you? Have you lost out on a great relationship just because you felt you shouldn’t have to do certain things in the relationship? Now I am not saying we need to lower our standards in life, let people take advantage of us, or do things we morally don’t agree with. Could maybe, just maybe we just don’t want to do something because we don’t want to have that vulnerability of our ego? Are we really too good for a situation or do we really have an inflated perception of who we are and where we are at. Could we be missing out on our happiness because of this?

We cannot find love or success without letting go of our false idea of who we are. We have to be able to make that extra call or email to someone for a career or business opportunity. We have to maybe swallow or pride and show the one we love that we love them and let the chips fall where they may. Can we let go of our coolness to say we are wrong and taking our onus in a situation? The one thing we can always say at the end of the day is that we gave our all and went after what we really wanted instead of hoping it fell in or lap and came to us. We will know that we were not too cool to go after our happiness.

Make sure you check out this week’s episode of the “Straight Outta Lo Cash” Radio Show. This week’s show “Can We Just Get Fleece Johnson to Deal With George Zimmerman” with guests Socialite Sande . You can also subscribe to the show on I-Tunes or listen on your Android, I-Phone, or I-Pad with Stitcher Radio.

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4 responses to “You Are Just “Too Cool” For Your Own Happiness

  1. This article is eye opening. Recently, I have noticed that a lot of people feel entitled to certain things. Some people feel they shouldn’t have to go the extra mile to get a job, or to make a relationship work. For example, when young adults graduate from college, they may feel that certain jobs are beneath them, because they have obtained a degree. However, people with little or no experience shouldn’t down play any entry-level job, as long as it doesn’t compromise your religious or moral views.

  2. Great article man. Got wind of this through your appearance on the black guy who tips. I know I’ve had moments of this in the place and feeling like an idiot for not pursuing something further or pursuing it in a way which wasn’t my best effort. I will be sharing this. keep up the good work

  3. Pingback: Don’t Allow Fear To Break You | From Ashy to Classy·

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