Accepting Someone For Who They Are Sometimes Isn’t Enough

One thing that has been preached and conveyed is the idea that people should accept someone for who they are. Though I agree that we definitely should accept the idea of someone being who they are unadulterated. But my question is…Is being who you ARE RIGHT NOW enough? There is nothing wrong with being who you are now but isn’t the goal of life to better than the person you are now?

Take Me as I am or Not at AllI was chopping it up with up with a home girl of mine on twitter and she was asking why do some people continue to be so inconsiderate. I responded to her that they probably don’t think they are being inconsiderate. She got upset at the idea that people didn’t want to recognize their in consideration in situations. I then told her the idea or philosophy of what is being inconsiderate is what is problematic. Many people get into the mode of believing that people are either down with them with no question or get out of their life. I agree that some one should be down with you but should the person accept you not wanting to become a better person?

We get into our romantic relationships, our careers, friendships, and child rearing expecting everyone else to just love us or accept who we are. Some of us have come so locked into the idea of who we are now and everyone in the world either loving or hating us some us that we neglect to do any self-inventory.  For us to tell someone to accept us for who we are can be a problem because that means that you are perfect the way you are now.

Ask Yourself….

Are You Perfect?

Do You Have Some Growing To Do?

If you didn’t answer No and then Yes to those two questions you can stop reading this post now. With that being said if you aren’t perfect and still have growing to do. Then why do those around should us accept who we are if we have no want to become the better us? We ourselves shouldn’t be content with who you are now. One should be content with their journey but one should always be striving for that extra inch that will eventually turn into that extra mile.

I am victim of this thought process myself. I am quick to tell someone who is upset with me my favorite moniker by Redman “I’ll Be Dat”. I know damn well I could be in the wrong but that ego and the idea that people gotta role with my ideology all the time can get mentally poisonous if I don’t look into myself and discern the real from the fake.  How can I become a better writer, a better brother, and a better man if I constantly believe that the world should just take me as I am?

Black man contemplatingWe can all walk around with our chest puffed out thinking I am alright with who I am and the world should be too. But, being in the lane you are in now has you where you are now in life. We have taken the idea of people taking us as who we are as an excuse to be mediocre and stay stagnant. There is a definitive difference between accepting mediocrity in ourselves and people not accepting who we are. Relationships in most cases are like a mirror. They show and reflect to us back the things we need to work on within ourselves. The idea is that person is reflecting back to us many times what we are giving to them.

Next time when someone is challenging your character or you feel like they aren’t accepting you for who you are. Ask yourself if the person is really not accepting you for who you are showing you something you may need to become. Think even further is the way you are now a result of your own archaic and prehistoric views and habits. Because if we continue to believe that being who we are is enough we will never get who we can be.

“You will not experience all life has to offer you or begin to experience life at its fullest as long as you are satisfied with mediocrity. You have to be disgusted with your current circumstances before your circumstances can change.”

 – Eric Thomas

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6 responses to “Accepting Someone For Who They Are Sometimes Isn’t Enough

  1. I kind-of-sort of agree with the sentiment of this write..The part of the thought process that we’re all a work in progress? I dig..I believe we’re all created to reach the peak of what our God-given potential IS..I’m constantly striving to get there..My own best motivator & critic..Me/Moi/I..Yet? I think and feel I’m enough right now as I am; IN this moment..To think anything else would create a sense of funky self-esteem & low confidence level…I lack neither of those two things. So yep, I work hard to accept my loved ones/friends for who they are..Whilst expecting (silent demand…) them to accept me for who I am and what I am about..Even at 50 yrs of age(and a TON of loved ones) that is sometimes easier said than done to master…2 thumbs UP on your write..Made me think, a lot! And I like anything that inspires a positive thought process

  2. There is a place within our heart that wants to be loved no matter what we do. And our brother has a place… just like that too. Do we ever wonder why we tend to overlook our own shortcomings more easily than another, why I feel my religion or the color of my skin is better. The peace so many claim to desire, that eludes the world to this day, has to start in our own hearts and families first, before it can find its way into the world. If we want change, we have to be it, by putting ourselves above no one.

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  4. This article hits home tremendously. I acknowledge unconditional acceptance of the human being that we are intertwined with spiritually, physically, and the like. But the hardest thing is to find someone who simply has the inner mechanism of self-critique. A few sistas I’ve run into asked me the age old question of can you accept me the way that I am 20 years from now. Needless to say, my answer was not what they wanted to hear. But being realistic, having expectations for someone who does not have higher aspirations or expectations for themselves is an end game for me. No matter the occupation or place in life, as long as you are trying to do something, is my main requirement. But its cool, because I can always work on me and push myself to new levels and never stay comfortable. People are in our lives for different reasons and seasons. Life is for the living and I’m learning to be all in. Bless!

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