President Barack Obama comments on gay marriage have started a firestorm of people upset at him like he slapped their mama. The more and more I thought about it I began to think how ridiculous that so many people were getting so emotional about this from a governmental sense. Barack Obama just says he accepts it not that he is going to men get married to each other. He didn’t say your religion or personal feelings should condone it but that he feels they should have governmental rights. It’s funny because there are so many other things going on in America that we need to work on and people are worried about gay people getting married? Full disclosure I don’t understand homosexuality but is it my place to understand it?

Many people are riding hard with their idea of the president said even though they won’t even stand up for things happening around them every day. I look at life as a business and a game. Before I take a stance on something I first survey how it will effect my bottom line (my life). Gay marriage doesn’t effect MY bottom line at all. Yes, gay marriage 0% effects my life. My personal feelings on homosexuality have nothing to do with a legal barring of their civil union and rights.

People are all up in arms so much over Barack Obama and the gay marriage thing I thought about all the things that people aren’t too vocal about but effect their bottom line. So in vain of Jimmy McMillan’s “The Rents Too Damn High moniker I will be giving you somethings you need to be thinking about instead of worrying about if gay people can get married or not.

Brothas and sistas are being killed every day in cities all over this country but you know what that is alright because gay marriage is the thing you really are taking a stand on.

We have an economy we need to get on track and figure out ways to create more jobs but you know what that is alright because gay marriage is the thing you really are taking a stand on.

Mother nature is being stressed by our consumption of fuel and pollution but you know what that is alright because gay marriage is the thing you really are taking a stand on.

The education in this country is damn near 2^nd world rate with many kids not even getting a sufficient education to attain skills to make a livelihood as an adult but you know what that is alright because gay marriage is the thing you really are taking a stand on.

Your wife/husband and kids barely even like YOU because you don’t build with your own family but you know what that is alright because gay marriage is the thing you really are taking a stand on.

You are letting your children be raised by TV and pop culture and they aren’t even learning about who they are and where they come from but you know what that is alright because gay marriage is the thing you really are taking a stand on.

You don’t have sufficient health care and have sky-high insurance rates but you know what that is alright because gay marriage is the thing you really are taking a stand on.

There are people who feel that a young man Trayvon Martin’s life means nothing which is a reflection for the lack of respect for black life but you know what that is alright because gay marriage is the thing you really are taking a stand on.

And did I mention the rent is too damn high!!! But you know what that is alright because gay marriage is the thing you really are taking a stand on.

Are you standing for something or just merely just want to stand?

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If you haven’t make sure you check out this weeks episodes of the “Straight Outta Lo Cash” Radio Show. This week’s show “Hollywood Swingin” feat. comedian Arvin Mitchell.You can also subscribe to the show on I-Tunes or listen on your Android, I-Phone, I-Pad or Black berry of Stitcher Radio.

Related articles

• Jay-Z Joins President Obama; Supports Gay Marriage (hostalmalure.com)
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• House Republicans add gay marriage measure to defense bill (stripes.com)
• Unapologetically You (up4discussion.org)
• Right-Wing Group Says: Minority Births “Not A Good Thing.” (rippdemup.com)
• The Legion of Christ Sex Scandal: Oh, Father God… He’s Just My Baby Daddy!! (rippdemup.com)

Finally, the feature article of me done by Black Enterprise for Black Bloggers Month where they are highlighting 20 of the Best Bloggers of 2012 is up! There is a full interview where they talk to me about my writing, marketing, and blogger business practices. This is a very dope accomplishment and I am honored that Black Enterprise felt the need to include me with a group of great black bloggers who are all doing their thing in their own right. I am going to be making some new things happen with this blog and with my podcast Straight Outta Lo Cash.  Thanks to everyone who has shown me love and had my back but just know this is just the beginning for me.

You can check out the article by clicking the screen shot picture below.

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If you haven’t make sure you check out this weeks episodes of the “Straight Outta Lo Cash” Radio Show. This week’s show “Hollywood Swingin” feat. comedian Arvin Mitchell.You can also subscribe to the show on I-Tunes or listen on your Android, I-Phone, I-Pad or Black berry of Stitcher Radio.

The dating game is already a touchy thing. It is a game that can make us a better person or it can destroy some of our inner soul. The dating game as one gets older there is more and more a likelihood of dating someone who already has a child from a previous relationship or marriage. In the past I have always been a guy who frowned upon women who had children for my own personal idealistic reasons.  The older I get the more I realize that it can be an issue but is it an end all be all to a relationship? Now I will always frown upon chicks that have multiple baby daddies (that I will never change on). But this week’s guest post is coming from Ashley  Colquitt of Curly Deviants one of the fast upon and coming Women’ Health, Beauty and Life blogs. She is going bless the From Ashy to Classy pages with her perspective on dating someone with a child.

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Is dating someone with kids worth it? Let me preface this by saying this entire post is totally MY opinion and everything I say comes from my own experience.

Recently I’ve come across this equation in my life: great guy + kid = total confusion. I thought that I’d never want to date someone with a child for all the fairly common reasons like not wanting to deal with the other parent, drama, wanting to be the first to have someone’s kid etc. As I’m getting older and I’m letting go of some of the more rigid items on my dating checklist (over six feet tall, “swag”, and a few other silly things I choose not to mention) I’m starting to realize that generalizing a whole group of people based on one thing is, and will always be, utterly ridiculous. To assume someone has a drama filled life because they have a child is not fair or rational.

Here’s the thing – dating someone with a child is a HUGE commitment from the moment you meet the kid. You’re not only accepting the person you date, but their child as well. So please, think carefully before jumping into it. Just as I realized I was missing out on so many good men less than six feet , maybe you’ll realize the same about this situation. I’m not saying that you should settle or let all your preferences fly out the window but I am saying that maybe the plan for you is not necessarily how you have it pictured in your head.

Maybe the plan for you is to be a role model, guide or huge part of a child’s life that is not yours by birth. I am definitely in favor of giving it a try, so here are my tips and advice on navigating these unforeseen waters:

1. You have to have to have a clear understanding of the relationship between the person you’re dating and their ex. Ask yourself, do they treat their relationship more like a business or like they’re still together without titles? Do they talk negatively about each other? Do they constantly argue? You need to know this upfront in order to know what you can and can’t deal with.
2. How often do they talk about their kid? I believe there is a direct correlation between how much someone talks about their kid and how involved they really are in their life. After you’ve talked to someone for a while they should be open about their child. My guy can impersonate all of his daughter’s sayings to a tee because they spend a lot of time together. You need to know if you’re really dealing with a deadbeat disguised as a Dad or an unfit Mother.
3. THIS IS IMPORTANT: The person you are dating must make you feel comfortable with the situation. The more awkward they make it the more awkward it is. You should NEVER feel like you are a secret to the other parent or that you can’t ask the person you’re with any questions that you want to know. In a situation like this your relationship definitely has to be an open book and it’s not going to work without 100% EARNED trust.
4. Trust your gut. If you feel like the situation is fishy or if you feel like things just don’t add up and they’re not right – they’re probably not so get out of it now before someone really gets hurt, probably you.
5. Be true to yourself. If you know in your heart of hearts this is something you could never be ok with then don’t get into it. It takes a lot to accept someone with a child and if you feel like you can’t there is nothing wrong with that. Just be true to what you can and can’t handle in a relationship.

So there you have it! A starter’s guide to dating someone with a child. This is my first time dating someone with a kid and so far so good. The most important thing to us is that we always communicate everything to one another, even stuff that other people may think is unimportant we talk about. He always makes sure he puts himself in my shoes and realizes that it’s hard so he is truly active in making sure I’m okay, which I love. One thing that I think is crazy is when he tells me I probably wouldn’t have liked the man he was before he had a child. The one thing that would’ve kept me away in the past is the main reason he is the great guy he is today. Think about that and keep an open mind, in the end it’s all up to you!

Hope this helps! – comment and let me know about your experiences, good or bad!

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Last week, people were elated all over hip hop because Lil Boosie beat his murder charges! Can I get applause! You know you ready to hear his post jail released tracks such as “B***ch I’m Out Joint” or “B***ch, Don’t Make Me Go Back In”. All jokes aside though I went on one of my twitter (follow me at @diggame) rants about people being so happy about Lil Boosie being out of jail.  I could personally give a damn about Lil Boosie getting off. No diss to Lil Boosie but him getting off for orchestrating the death of a fellow rapper is not something that needs to be on my radar. Good for him he beat a murder charge but I took it as an opportunity on twitter to some people aware political prisoners that we really do need to be aware of.  Lots of people were asking more questions about the people I mentioned on twitter that people want to become aware of so I decided to flesh out some more information in another edition Reversing a Culture of Ignorance.

It’s interesting I am writing this since a few weeks is the anniversary of the great Geronimo Pratt‘s death.  Geronimo Pratt was a political prisoner many of us have heard of considering he was released in 1997 and won a court settlement for wrong imprisonment for around 6 million dollars. But, here are three other political just like Geronimo Pratt who many believe were victims of the U.S. Government’s COINTELPRO program.

Mumia Abu-Jamal

Journalist and founder of the Philadelphia Black Panthers Mumia Abu-Jamal was convicted and sentenced to death in 1982 for the killing of a white Philadelphia police officer.

As a journalist, Abu-Jamal was labeled as “a voice for the voiceless” by the Philadelphia Inquirer for his work exposing what the US Department of Justice called “the practice of brutality against minorities” by that city’s police department. Abu-Jamal was so well-known for his work, and so hated by the city government, that at a press conference in 1978, Philadelphia Mayor Rizzo stood up, pointed at Abu-Jamal and said, “Young man, someday you will be held accountable for what you have done.”

On December 9, 1981, the city government saw its chance to punish Abu-Jamal for his dissent. At 4 AM while working as a taxi driver, he drove up to the scene of a white police officer beating an African-American male, Abu-Jamal’s own brother, in the street. He exited his cab to intervene, presumably with his 0.38 caliber gun in hand, and shots were fired. The police officer lay dead and Abu-Jamal was shot through the chest.

“Elie Wiesel says that the greatest evil in the world is not anger or hatred, but indifference. If that is true, then the opposite is also true: that the greatest love we can show our children is the attention we pay them, the time we take for them. Maybe we serve children the best simply by noticing them.” – Mumia Abu-Jamal

The city government successfully convicted Abu-Jamal for premeditated first-degree murder in a trial riddled with racial bias, judicial improprieties, witness tampering, and no legal defense for the accused. His appointed attorney never spoke with a witness, a pathologist, or a forensic expert. His attorney did not even read the medical examiner’s report, because if he had, he could have brought out in court that Abu-Jamal’s gun and the bullet that killed the police officer were not even the same caliber. After dismissing his attorney, Abu-Jamal tried to defend himself, but was eventually denied that right after a white juror complained that his dreadlocks frightened her.

Despite all this, the jury was ready to find Abu-Jamal guilty of the lesser charge of third-degree murder, until presiding judge Albert Sabo, who holds the US record for death penalty convictions, defined premeditation for the jury as the few seconds of thought before the accused pulls the trigger. Based on that ruling, the jury found him guilty and sentenced him to die.

Mumia Abu-Jamal has spent the many years of his life on death row but he has not remained silent despite the government’s attempts to isolate him from the outside world. He has written an internationally bestselling book Live From Death Row, and he has just completed another. The international pleas for Abu-Jamal from Nelson Mandela, the Japanese Diet, and others have done much to bring attention to the case. On April 26, 2011, the Third Circuit Court of Appeals reaffirmed its earlier decision to vacate the death sentence on the grounds that the jury instructions and verdict form were ambiguous and confusing.  He still in prison sentenced to life in prison with no chance of parole. (source)

Assata Shakur

Many of you may have heard Common’s Like Water For Chocolate album. On the album there was a song called Song for Assata that really put me onto Assata Shakur which drove me to read her autobiography Assata: An Autobiography. Assata also has a connection to the late great rapper Tupac Shakur as she is his godmother. Assata Shakur has a dynamic story that I should have added to my post Reversing a Culture of Ignorance: Black Women Who Were More than the Help. Assata has been a person who constantly fought for the rights of Black Americans to have justice, economic empowerment, and protection.

Assata was a graduate of City College of New York City and is a former member of the Black Panther Party For Self Defense and even became the leader of the Harlem chapter of the party. Assata would later leave the Black Panther Party. In May 1973 Shakur was involved in a shootout on the New Jersey Turnpike, during which New Jersey State Trooper Werner Foerster and BLA member Zayd Malik Shakur were killed and Shakur and Trooper James Harper were wounded. Between 1973 and 1977, Shakur was indicted in relation to six other alleged criminal incidents—charged with murder, attempted murder, armed robbery, bank robbery, and kidnapping—resulting in three acquittals and three dismissals. In 1977, she was convicted of the first-degree murder of Foerster and of seven other felonies related to the shootout.

“Freedom? you asking me about freedom? you asking me about freedom? I’ll be honest with you, I know a whole lot more, about what freedom isn’t than what it is…”- Assata Shakur

Shakur was then incarcerated in several prisons, where her treatment drew criticism from some human rights groups. She escaped from prison in 1979 and has lived in Cuba in political asylum since 1984. Since May 2, 2005, the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) has classified her as a “domestic terrorist” and offered a $1 million reward for help in her capture. Attempts to extradite her have resulted in letters to the Pope and a Congressional resolution. There is so much medical and ballistic evidence to support that Assata had nothing to do with the police killing on the New Jersey turnpike and that her hands were raised when she was shot by the New Jersey Highway Patrol. The case of Assata Shakur is one that has brought up critical legal studies and studies of critical race theory. (source)

Mutulu Shakur

Tupac Shakur is steadily becoming an intricate part of this post because Mutulu Shakur is Tupac’s stepfather and the father to former Outlaw member Mopreme aka Komani. Tupac’s mother was a former Black Panther party member and a member of the Panther 21 who were wrongfully prosecuted over two years. Tupac and a lot of who he became on his political side was shaped by Mutulu Shakur.

Shakur was a strong supporter of Malcolm X as well as several other Civil Rights leaders at the time. As he grew older he moved to Harlem in New York City in the 1970s. Shakur later joined the Republic Of New Afrika and the BLA (Black Liberation Army) as well. He was involved with several bank robberies and other criminal activities.

In 1970 Shakur started working with the Lincoln Detox (detoxification) Community (addiction treatment) Program, which offered drug treatment to addicts using acupuncture. Shakur became certified and licensed to practice acupuncture in the State of California in 1976. Eventually he became the program’s assistant director and remained associated with the program until 1978. He went on to help found and direct the Black Acupuncture Advisory Association of North America (BAAANA) and the Harlem Institute of Acupuncture.

The word terrorist, unlike communist and fascist, is being abused by the oppressors as it disguises reality and impoverishes language and makes a banality out of the discussion of war, revolution, conflict, and politics. As Christopher Hitchens once said, “It’s the perfect instrument for the cheapening of public opinion and for the intimidation of dissent…This is the age of social media where the tragic dramas presented in testimony to a broad base of the American public will hopefully inform and expose the present generation and future generations to lessons this country need not repeat.”- Mutulu Shakur

Meanwhile, Shakur’s RNA group had allied themselves with the controversial Weather Underground, a group of mostly white radical anti-war protestors who would later be connected to a series of bombings. To fund their movements, the groups combined forces and began planning elaborate robberies-the black members would rob the bank, while whites drove the getaway cars. Federal law enforcement agents believed that Shakur was using his acupuncture school as a front for these and other resistance activities. Despite their lack of evidence, police shut down the institution in 1979.

In August of 1980, Mutulu moved to Harlem, where he began the Black Acupuncture Advisory Association of North America. Shakur’s methods of treatment made him internationally known in the medical community, and many community leaders, political activists, lawyers and doctors came to Shakur for treatment. He also helped the poor, homeless, and drug-addicted members of the community get back on their feet.

Shakur remained No. 1 on the FBI’s Most Wanted list until his arrest on February 12, 1986. According to law enforcement agents, Shakur was involved in 12 robberies, held between December 1976 and October 1981. Shakur went on trial in 1987, he was charged with operating a criminal enterprise and with the killings in October of 1981. Despite lack of eyewitnesses or physical evidence linking him to the crime scenes, and the judge’s declaration that Shakur had been unfairly targeted by the federal government, the jury found Shakur guilty on all counts. He was sentenced to 60 years in prison. He is currently is incarcerated and is scheduled for release in 2016. (source)

If you haven’t make sure you check out this weeks episodes of the “Straight Outta Lo Cash” Radio Show. This week’s show “Hollywood Swingin” feat. comedian Arvin Mitchell.You can also subscribe to the show on I-Tunes or listen on your Android, I-Phone, I-Pad or Black berry of Stitcher Radio.

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Today marks the anniversary of my popular blog series The Marcus Graham Chronicles. Interesting fact is that I was originally going to call this blog The Marcus Graham Chronicles but I decided that it didn’t encompass everything I wanted this blog to be. I wanted to talk about everything from sports and politics to sex and relationships. But, I digress. The Marcus Graham Chronicles series is one where I wanted you the readers to get a glimpse into my personal thoughts, emotions and experiences when it came to relationships. I am very candid and honest in this series about my wrongs, shortcomings, and imperfections. I wanted these posts to be an outlet for people to see the things through my writing that they may need to tweak about themselves to continue to develop healthy relationships.  I was proud to win a 2011 Black Weblog Award for Best Blog Series for this post cause it is some of the most personal and intimate details about me.  Without further ado let’s go back a bit and check out the first post in the series where I break down my  choosiness with women which I coined the Marcus Graham Condition.

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Before you read this check out where this madness started… “I’ll Hit But I Won’t Make You Wifey”

Anyone that knows me pretty well knows that one of my favorite movies of all time is Boomerang starring Eddie Murphy. The movie is deep on so many levels (black professionalism, black social images, racism, career, etc.). The movie is misunderstood by many critics. This was because much of mainstream society at the time (1992) couldn’t conceive the dynamic of the black professional. But I digress. I was so addicted to the movie at one point that my whole crew in college had our own slang with terms from the movie.

The main plot of the film revolves around Eddie Murphy’s character Marcus Graham and his trials and tribulations as he searches to find “the one”.  The thing about Marcus Graham is that he isn’t just the normal guy searching for the one. He is looking for perfection.  Marcus is ultra picky when it comes to his women. He is a stickler with everything from intelligence to if she has “hammer time” in her shoe. Marcus excuses his womanly exploits on the women not being up to par but neglects to realize his quench for more “Noncie”(yeah that’s my word for nookie) .  Not to spoil the movie for those who haven’t seen it but the crux of the movie is “For the dog that chases his tail will be dizzy.”

Now you are probably asking what does this have to do with this writer. Well….I suffer from the Marcus Graham  Condition. Please don’t judge me and please studio audience don’t throw any tomatoes at me!!!

I will not say it’s to the extreme of Marcus Graham in Boomerang but I suffer from it nonetheless. Just like Marcus I have a low tolerance for ugly feet on women and found myself nitpicking at women. I would sometimes damn near even be real flighty in my likes of a woman. As my homegirl says “Negro you aint picky you send bitches through a gauntlet.”

The Marcus Graham Condition is something a lot of professional black men such as Marcus Graham are afflicted with. Let’s keep it funky proportion wise there are more professional black women than men. So in many facets we can afford to be picky and thorough in our feminine choices.  Often times us professional black men take advantage of it consciously or unconsciously. Now I am not gonna excuse women for making bad dating choices but I understand the problem nonetheless.

Through soul-searching and self-reflection I realized that my standards maybe too damn high. Maybe my future wifey isn’t going to love The Wire, Blue Moon and Bobby Brown as much as I do. You know what it’s cool that they maybe not have all the things on my checklist. Maybe their hair doesn’t have to flow a particular way or maybe she doesn’t have to be interested in certain books.  I understand that complementing someone is learning from the differences from your mate. I mean really would I want to date a woman who was just as much as an asshole as myself?

I look back on my long and I would have to say “illustrious” time in the dating game (they will retire my jersey when or if I get married) that I have dated many quality women but I can honestly say my longest consistent relationship was a year and a half.  If being in a relationship was like jail time I would be just a repeat offender of drunk driving other many others will have served time with a felony

I am going to take more self-evaluation into my dating choices and maybe not be so hard on women. I am going to work on this damn Marcus Graham Condition I tell ya. But, I know one thing I will never waver on a woman having “hammer time” in their shoe.

Thanks for taking time to go back with me. Check out more in the series “The Marcus Graham Chronicles”

If you haven’t make sure you check out this weeks episodes of the “Straight Outta Lo Cash” Radio Show. This week’s show “Lights, Camera, Action” feat. photographer Teddy Blackett.You can also subscribe to the show on I-Tunes or listen on your Android, I-Phone, I-Pad or Black berry of Stitcher Radio.

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Many people say they wish they could create and come up with certain ideas they see. For instance so when Instagram sold for Billions of dollars everyone gasped and said” Why didn’t I come up with that?” Then there is the other side of the coin of people who have millions of great ideas but can’t get any of their ideas moving.  This week’s guest post is from Imogen Reed and he is going to write about developing creativity and harnessing its power.

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Creativity is a mysterious thing. People have their own ideas and stereotypes about what a creative person is like – often a bohemian free-spirit, going wherever their muse leads them. But clearly not all creative people fit into that mold. Creativity takes all kinds of forms, from students of fine art, to rap battle legends.  The end products of that creativity might look totally different, but the underlying force behind them is pretty much the same. Just ask any creative type where they get their ideas from and most will answer, ‘I’m not really sure, it just kinda popped into my head!’ So what is creativity? And how can we make better use of it?

Creativity is not Intelligence

Whilst it may be hard to pinpoint exactly what creativity is, it’s easier to say what it isn’t. Research has shown that creativity isn’t related to intelligence. Your IQ is not the determining factor in how imaginative you might be.

Logic and creativity are two separate functions in the brain; usually creative thinking, imagination and intuition are attributed to the right side and logical thinking and reasoning to the left. So whilst its your right side that creates an artistic masterpiece, you’ve got to engage your left side to make sure you cover your possessions with contents insurance.

This suggests that creativity isn’t something that can be taught, at least not in the same way as maths or science are. It’s something which has to be facilitated and encouraged to develop.

In schools in the Western world, imaginative free thinking is typically not nurtured well. Good exam results, evidence, and provable theories are more sought after, as is the development of a strong work force. So pondering and thoughtfulness have become qualities that are associated with unproductiveness. Daydreaming is seen as procrastination, and when we’re not seen to be physically doing something, we get called lazy. But when we look at these seemingly inactive pursuits a little more closely, we can see that they are in fact crucial.

Some of the world’s most influential and successful entrepreneurs, film makers, writers, artists, musicians, etc., aren’t people who thrived in school. James Cameron, the director of Titanic and Avatar, dropped out of college. P Diddy, who is reported to be worth $500 million, also didn’t finish college. They may not have been academics (which is the usual measure of intelligence) but they were people who knew how to stay open to and value their imaginations, and they both cultivated this in order to become the successes they are today.

How Can I Be More Creative?

Any creative person will tell you that you can’t force inspiration. This is part of the reason why it’s so mysterious, because it can’t be controlled or summoned at will. However, there are things you can do that will help you be more open to it.

Imagination needs space. Creative thinking comes more easily when you’ve got the space to be playful, to throw ideas around, to listen to anything and everything that your mind reveals to you, so that you can pick and choose what’s worth paying attention to. It’ll be hard to make full use of your creative mind when you’re having to think of phoning the gas company or what you’re going to eat for your evening meal. So find somewhere to go where you have sufficient freedom from the tasks of everyday life.

Time really goes hand in hand with space. You need to know you don’t have to be anywhere and that you don’t have to do anything for X amount of time. Make sure to give yourself enough time too. A half hour slot might not give you the time you need to switch your thinking away from day to day chores and worries and onto welcoming in new bright ideas. Reversely, don’t give yourself too much time; otherwise you might exhaust your muse.

Have confidence in your creativity. Sure, not every idea you have will be worth following through with, but if you keep at it you’ll discover some real nuggets of gold. Don’t be disheartened if others think you’re ‘wasting your time’. What they perceive as you doing nothing, is you simply taking the time to build your dreams.

And finally, don’t worry if you have some crap ideas. One of them may well be the stepping stone to your million dollar bright spark.

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It seems like every few months we get an incident where someone gets press for using the dreaded “n-word”, nigga, or nigger (however you want to spin it this week). From V-Nasty feeling comfortable with using the word as a part of her everyday vernacular, blackface dress up parties, and study session hosted “nigger” or racial slur events. This past week we have another incident of a form of racial tourettes in New York Post writer Phil Mushnick‘s criticism over Jay-Z and the Brooklyn Nets new color scheme. He used the word Nigger in a way that I always wondered wasn’t used more. He dropped the words New York and Niggers in an effort to make a point for his distaste of Jay-Z. The biggest problem with his comment is that it shows Mushnick’s inability to constructively criticize while still being able to evolve.

Phil Mushnick has been upset with Jay-Z’s involvement with the new Nets regime since the beginning. Mushnick feel s like the hip hop icons persona and lyrics precede Jay-Z and that he has no business being involved in an NBA franchise.   Phil Mushnick would write about how much he hated the color scheme and logo that Jay-Z and his marketing team came up with that he wrote this:

“As long as the Nets are allowing Jay-Z to call their marketing shots — what a shock that he chose black and white as the new team colors to stress, as the Nets explained, their new “urban” home — why not have him apply the full Jay-Z treatment? Why the Brooklyn Nets when they can be the New York N——s? The cheerleaders could be the Brooklyn B—-hes or Hoes. Team logo? A 9 mm with hollow-tip shell casings strewn beneath. Wanna be Jay-Z hip? Then go all the way!” (Source)

I have always wondered if a team could really be named the “Niggers or Niggas”.  I always wondered how the Newark Niggas would sound for a team name. I mean think about how many teams are named after Native Americans? The Washington Redskins anyone? But I digress. Mushnick comes doesn’t come off as racist as much as he comes off like an old man who is upset that some hip hop scoundrel was able to get a big piece of the American Pie through untraditional channels.

There are two things that are strongly coming from statements like this. First, Mushnick like many people now are using the word hip hop as an interchangeable word for “nigger”. .  It is just that Mushnick made it a correlation without necessarily saying it. Second, many believe that doing business has a certain blueprint that one must follow to success.

I get it a lot of you hate hip hop. And many of you have a great reason to dislike hip hop. There are great and valid reasons to dislike hip hop and more conversations about hip hop need to happen. One of my issues is that it seems that the word hip hop has become interchangeable with the word nigger. This isn’t just a white situation either black people do the same thing with the interchanging of hip hop and nigger in their language (Cue Chris Rock’s “Niggas vs. Blacks“).

Mushnick and those like him believe that there is a certain blueprint that has to be met to be considered a real businessman. How who wears jeans and tennis shoes to work know anything about business and marketing? What they miss is that Jay-Z and those within the hip hop generation know the most about marketing and business on more global level. What culture has brought more people together than hip hop? With deductive reasoning one can conclude that one of the biggest icons in hip hop history would be able to market this professional team to the growing amount of consumers who are a part of the hip hop generation?

Mushnick’s from his writing has serious problems with hip hop and its lyrics. Last week I asked the question “Did Gangster Rap contribute to the prison industrial Complex?” I concluded that the question is something that can’t be made with a simple yes or no answer that it is somewhere in-between. But, just like many people Mushnick wants to blame hip hop for almost every woe in the world. In this case he has a problem with “hip hop being involved with a professional team”.  Mushnick could have really had some legs to stand on and generally bring an honest debate and dialogue to the ills of hip hop (if that was his idea in the first place) but he would try to defend his statements by saying:

“Jay-Z profits from the worst and most sustaining self-enslaving stereotypes of black-American culture and I’M the racist?” he continued. “Some truths, I guess, are just hard to read, let alone think about.” (Source)

Is this an issue an old man disliking the methods that the younger generation comes about their money? Or that hip hop artists shouldn’t be a part of traditional business because of their lyrics? I ask those with the thought process of Mushnick: Are you alright with Paul McCartney or Ringo Star doing traditional business? I mean The Beatles lyrics on “Helter Skelter” supposedly influenced Charles Manson and his Family. The Beatles also had many other songs condoning drugs and sex and I’m sure most of you don’t have a problem with them getting into traditional business. Then why shouldn’t someone whose background is in hip hop be able to own a professional team if they have the money and means to do so?

It seems more and more everyday that hip hop is being made the sacrificial lamb of what is wrong with the world. Just like people want to blame “niggers” (in the media they call them welfare queens, thugs, or * gasp* the hip hop generation) Mushnick like many people just feel that mainstream America is being lost (shout out to Pat Buchannan) because of the changing dynamic of our society. Why not blame hip hop and get upset and throw around word nigger? Because those like me will laugh because world is not going to stop evolving and throwing out the word nigger makes you look like a dinosaur who is incapable of evolution die.

Related articles

• The other team in town was once called the “Niggerbockers”. (field-negro.blogspot.com)
• Phil Mushnick remains unapologetic about ‘New York Ni**ers’ Jay-Z column (thegrio.com)
• New York Post Columnist Phil Mushnick Stands By Jay-Z “New York Ni**ers” Comments (hiphopwired.com)
• I’m Back Bitches (max-logic.com)
• “Incontinent Speeches”, and those racist anonymous trolls. (field-negro.blogspot.com)

Earlier this week the shocking death of future Hall of Fame Football player Junior Seau started circulating every sports media outlet. A part of me wasn’t surprised to hear about him committing suicide considering it was rumored he attempted suicide a few years ago by driving off the road. The more I thought about this situation the more solemn I got about the situation. Why you may ask? Honestly, I really can’t tell you why this particular case had me thinking. But, the suicide death of Junior Seau reminded me how all the fame, glory and money don’t mean a damn if you can’t find any inner peace.

How many times have you saw someone yelling about spoiled athletes or them being so lucky?

Junior Seau in many people’s eyes had it all. He was a 12 Time Pro- Bowler,  went to two Super Bowl’s, idolized all over the country, and probably had more than enough money for generations. Most people would give up their first-born child for a piece of the life that Junior Seau was able to live. To think that he wasn’t happy with life that he decided to end it considering all the “things” he had is something to make you really think. People live in so much envy of athletes, celebrities and those with money that they fail to realize that maybe some of these people aren’t fulfilled and happy.

Many times we want things so much that we never sit back and think about what will truly make us happy. Yeah, you want to be successful, clock dollars, and get some notoriety or fame but what if all of that was stripped from you what would you do? Or what would you do after you get all of those things? Is there something that will get you to wake up every morning and be able to look yourself in the mirror and smile and thank the creator for seeing another day?

Seeing Junior Seau’s mother hysterically crying at the family’s press conference was saddening situation. Watching his family mourning and missing this intricate cog of their family made me know that we never will be able to see what a person is internally going through.  I saw an interview with Marcellus Wiley a former teammate of his and he talked about how you would never see Junior Seau down or in pain. Even to the point that he never got medical attention with his other teammates because he didn’t want anyone to see him at his worst. Wiley would go on to say how much he smiled and was always in a great mood. He said he was living high on life as far as he knew.

We all have our demons and vices to us but we can always see someone smiling but we will never know the pain and turmoil their mind is going through. Are you smiling or appearing happy but inside you just aren’t feeling right?

I think about my life and I have made a lot of headway and getting my voice out there. I won a couple of Black Weblog Awards, being booked for speaking engagements, my podcast Straight Outta LoCash is growing in listenership, and even this month I am being featured in Black Enterprise’s Black Blogger Month feature. These are all great accomplishments and I have so much more I want to do. I am not gonna front I always pictured myself sitting on a roundtable discussion on MSNBC, CNN, TVone, etc. in full my Ashy to Classy wardrobe (Suit, STL or Chicago fitted hat, and Adidas Shell Tops) discussing any topic that was thrown at me. I always felt at that point I could always sigh and say “Damn, I finally made it.”  But, will that necessarily make me happy or fulfilled? It’s a serious question that I asked myself after reflecting on Junior Seau committing suicide. This was a reminder to me that I have to make sure that my happiness is not intertwined in my outward success but how I feel about who I AM. Finding my purpose in living and what I am living for will make me the most happy.

YOU can only define your happiness. No other person or thing can do that for YOU. The sooner you are able to decipher the difference between the WANTS and your NEEDS the closer you can find inner peace and true happiness.

Related articles

• Junior Seau’s Last Play (thesportsfanjournal.com)
• Beastie Boys Co-Founder Adam Yauch Dead at 48 (thehiphopdemocrat.com)

The male ego can be a very intricate part of a man and his interactions with not only the world but the way he looks at himself. In the Marcus Graham Chronicles I have written freely about my male ego and emotions particularly in the realm of relationships. Ego in some cases pushes a man to cheat it some cases but can the past just be as big of culprit? This weeks guest post is one of my most favorite contributors to From Ashy to Classy. It is none other than Greg The Dragon of the Hall of the Black Dragon which I am sure is to start a bit of a discussion.

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Fun fact for the ladies: Men NEVER get over it.

Women hate on other women due to the chance that this other woman can easily “take their man” due to the upgrade potential right? This is what was relayed to me from a female colleague that I debated with as she explained why Angelina Jolie was public enemy number one for women after acquiring Brad Pitt as her beau. The way she explained it was that a man standing with his girl who is a 7 (8 if she really tries) on the looks scale can easily lose her man to a 10 who puts in the extra sex appeal and game to upgrade to a 15 – which (according to her) renders us men into to slobbing, drooling, helpless cheaters.

Brothers of the man race, this is how our women see it, and it is the reason why it is never okay for you to go hang with your childhood friend (who is a girl) that happens to look better than your girlfriend. It is also the reason why your wife automatically turned into a fire breathing dragon when she saw your co-worker who resembles Caterina Murino. We can’t win this fight but you know what I said to my colleague about this fear that women have of one another… it is their own damned fault.

Pikachu, I Choose You! Bad Boy Loser!

For every guy that has suffered from losing out to a bad boy, or a rough around the edges type, there is a man who grows up with a little bit of darkness in his heart. True story. Men are like elephants when it comes to relationship bruises but I swear it sits in our subconscious as opposed to our conscious thought. This is why some men (the few, the proud) can overcome the hurt and become loyal husbands, boyfriends, whatever. Most men are governed by our inner puppy… the puppy that grows with every single rejection, insult, observance of misandry, and tutorship from dire wolves. If a man has a big beastly dog in his subconscious, then when the time comes to decide whether his actions will hurt his lady in lieu of conquering, he will choose to become a slayer.

An emotional man remembers the slights, he sees the chance to upgrade as a chance to upgrade. It’s like the hip hop song by MC Breed “why have a 9 when I can have a 10 if she ain’t licking up the nuts then I’m a holler at her friend” – vulgar yes but dudes do think like this! That is the feedback from a man who does not respect the trust in a relationship, does not trust the “sanctity of marriage” and could give a damn about a woman’s feelings because he does not care.

Women are afraid of this and they very well should because if there’s a chance to play with a dime and you are a man who hasn’t even sampled one at a strip club your mind is going to screw with you hardcore! Sure some good guys are happy enough with the attention so that they can brag about it to their friends “dude she was totally into you!” but a man with that dog in his heart! He wants to get in her right then and there because he feels like the gods granted him a once in a lifetime opportunity and he would be a fool not to take it.

Are men naturally cheaters… or making up for lost time?

Why do you think so many powerful men kick up thousands of dollars for some hush-hush sex with a dime-piece prostitute? They were nerds in the past who couldn’t score that, plus they were denied by so many women up until they had money that now it’s almost like they are owed the booty. They aren’t thinking about what their wives would feel if she found out, they just want to exploit the opportunity so that they can brag to their grandsons “boy your granddaddy used to get it in with some of the finest women alive”.

It’s as if life brings about a cypher of passive aggressive resentment between men and women based off the fact that we are viewed as useless around beautiful “strange”. If you think your lady is above this, just bring her somewhere around some knockouts and watch her go Super Saiyan with her hate. I don’t think it’s unwarranted as many of us will play gentlemen; let’s just put it out there right now. If I grabbed 4 random married guys and took them to a mansion of secrecy housing prostitutes that favored Adriana Lima, I guarantee you that all 4 would get laid.

Men… it’s not entirely our fault is it? Women burn us early and we burn them later on… with better looking women. As they say it’s the game, but maybe, just maybe I am wrong about this and most guys obey the law of the land and turn down prime rib when it’s spread out in front of them…

I don’t think so though but what do you think; Am I nuts, or am I on to something here?

Related articles

• Dear Dragon: I Fake Orgasms – Will He Hate Me? (halloftheblackdragon.com)
• If Your Relationships Keep Failing, You Have To Blame YOURSELF At Some Point (thisisyourconscience.com)
• 10 Small Arguments That Most Couples Have (brotherswithnogame.com)
• The Marcus Graham Chronicles: Love Shoulda Brought Your Ass Home (ashy2classy.net)
• For Women Who View Masturbation as Cheating (halloftheblackdragon.com)

Ever heard of the Willie Lynch Letter? The infamous letter that began circulation starting around the mid 1970s that was claimed to been written by a white slave master in the end of the 17th Century. The letter would describe different ways for slave masters to keep their slaves in check and divided. Willie Lynch in this letter told slave masters if they instituted these forms of separation amongst slaves that it will hold up for hundreds of years. This letter has been debated over the last 30+ years from academia to arguments at the barbershop. Many historians agree that there is no evidence that Willie Lynch or this letter ever existed and is a form of fiction. The question I always ask is: Does the fiction/hyperbole of the letter not have themes that have truth in black culture?

Last week many popular hip hop sites were sent an anonymous letter supposedly from a music industry insider that described a secret meeting he attended with many music label executives. The man in the letter claims that during this meeting many of these music executives were made aware that the companies they work for had invested heavily into the privatization of the prison system. The music executives were told to promote more gangster rap and negative in rap music. They felt that if the idea of going to prison was promoted in music more that they could profit more of the bodies of men (particularly men of color) going to prison. There are people who have addressed the validity of this letter and if it is just another of many black urban legends and conspiracy theories. The question begs to be asked though is not if the events in the letter happened but is it true that gangster rap has affected our culture that much to bring upon the conditions that are present in ghettos all across the country.

I am not going to front I am torn on this issue because I can see it from a multitude of angles. Hip Hop/Rap music isn’t the sole reason that the prison industrial complex is omniscient in our society but at the same time has it not? I spoke on my podcast last week (Hear Here) about how as African American’s we are cultural more intertwined to music. Historically speaking music was used in Africa for movements of people, in slavery it helped us speaking in the fields and move during the Underground Railroad, and even in the present songs helped us through the Civil Rights movement.  I don’t think we can ever dismiss the notion that music CAN affect people. Certain music can put you in certain moods and in certain places. The glorification of crime and proliferation of the prison system cannot be denied as being a part of gangster rap. Ask any of the kids who are in jail what they listen to I bet its gangster rap. So, can we question the idea of gangster rap music’s influence having some validity?

Like I said I am torn on the issue of gangsta rap and the prison system because we cannot neglect that personal accountability and societal situations  are serious factors that contribute to the new prison industrial complex. Gangster rap didn’t put crack into the communities, gangster rap didn’t give insufficient education, gangster rap didn’t hand out unequal prison sentences (crack vs. cocaine possession), and gangster rap didn’t snatch jobs industrial jobs from urban areas. Gangster rap can’t be solely responsible for the influx of black men in the prison system as the letter says the “powers that be” wished to us it as. The conditions around America have just as much to do with it as well. Rap music and Hip Hop has been an easy scapegoat and a sugar-coating all the irresponsibility of parents, elders, and leaders. Would these things even exist if the many people who fought for integration passed along those ideals and notions to the kids below them?

I feel if you want to blame a situation on hip hop I will put in the idea that the balance that was in hip hop isn’t there anymore. In the years past you would hear music on the radio and see music videos from a diverse amount of Hip Hop artists. You could go from hearing DJ Quik’s ”Born and Raised in Compton” to hearing Public Enemy’s “Shut ‘Em Down” then turn around and hear A Tribe called Quest and Leaders of the New School’s classic “Scenario” to bumping The Geto Boys’ “My Mind is Playing Tricks on Me”.  There was a very high push of black consciousness coming from hip hop in the late 80s and early 90s. Remember the Kente cloth, black fist medallions, and Malcolm X hats?  Gangsta Rap also had a leg to stand on proclaiming that they were showing the realities of where they come from or as some would call it “reality rap”. Remember how many LA rappers such as Ice T, Ice Cube, and Tupac were predicting the LA Riots to happen? That was all good for a time but the problem is now that most of rappers now aren’t telling the story of the hood but just telling fanatical tales to sell records. I am not saying there weren’t any studio gangsters in the past but it’s a totally different vibe now. Gangsta rap had more of a street conscience then and its violent nature was offset by social conscious rap.

Has Hip Hop particularly gangster rap been the reason for the prison industrial complex in Black Culture? The answer to that question isn’t something that can’t be really quantified. We can’t put the idea of the prison and crime problem on gangster rap music but at the same time we can’t sit here and look at it as having the best influence all if the time either especially when their isn’t other forms of hip hop provided as a balance to it. I know one thing though that I officially know that current “gangster rap” isn’t targeted to me anymore because last night I heard Notorious B.I.G.’s “Big Poppa” on the Adult Contemporary station.

What do you feel about Gangster Rap and its contribution to Prison Culture?

Related articles

• Graduating from Ghetto Scholarship: Has Hip-Hop Dumbed Us Down? (allhiphop.com)
• Why We Can’t Get Along: Is There a Conspiracy Against Hip-Hop Unity? (allhiphop.com)
• Dear Hip Hop,…Will You Speak Out for Trayvon? (ashy2classy.net)
• Ice Cube Reflects On Hip Hop’s Influence On The L.A. Riots (thebuzzcincy.com)
• Knowledgeable Female Hip-Hop Heads Are SEXY As HELL (ashy2classy.net)

Before we get into the Open Friday Letter want to let everyone know next month I will be featured by Black Enterprise in their ”Month of the Blogger”. They will be highlighting the 20 Best Black Bloggers of 2012. This is something I’m very proud about and will let you know more info when they drop my interview. I also did a guest post over at This is Your Conscience entitled “If you Love Them…Let  Them Go”. Now let’s get into this letter where a woman wants to know how to get the spice stepped up in her relationship.

Dear Dig,

I read one of the Open Friday Letters a few months ago about the woman who was wondering if her man was creeping because she had rationed sex out(The Letter she is referring to CLICK HERE) and I think I am having the same issue she has BUT I want to fix and safe my situation. I am not a moron to the fact that I have cut off sex from him. Call it honestly a combination of me thinking about me and my libido being low.  I used to think like the girl in that previous letter but I am beginning to realize how much that means to a man.

My guy and I have been together for a few years and we haven’t talked about it but I think I could marry him.  I am madly in love with him. We have our ups and downs but he is the best man I have ever met in my life. The issue comes even in more than hers because I am about 50/50 on the idea that he has some things going on the side with women. I really don’t have much proof but my intuition, we don’t have sex, and he doesn’t really try anymore. he also complained that I wasn’t very compassionate and thinking about his wants in general. He said he has been willing to work with me on the relationship but I know this can’t be long.

I can feel myself losing him and I really don’t want to lose him because of this. I want your and our readers’ opinions on what I should do.

 Wanting to Save My Relationship

I want to commend you first off for taking ownership in your relationship having some falter in it. Many times do people take the victim role and not take the onus for their destruction in it. With all that being said I could sit here and tell you to just starting thronxing him more and it will solve everything but there has to be a deeper questions asked by you. Honestly I think there are more issues than sex here…

Why don’t you want to have sex with him? Is there some emotional issue from your past or with him you haven’t dealt with? Do you really love him as you claim? Do you not trust him deep in side? Are you all even compatible if you really don’t want sex?

How do you really know he is creepin? Is it paranoia on your part because you aren’t rabbit dancing with him? For the sake of conversation let’s say that he does have a side chick (ala Bobby Petrino). Then on the other side of the coin as much as I can understand in some cases a man have a side situation it’s not the right route to go at all.  A man has to ask himself what is the reasoning he has a side chick because if it’s to supplement the other women maybe he needs to use my “No Dime Left Behind” philosophy.

At the end of the day you really have to find out internally what the issue you have first before you can save this relationship because if you don’t want to intimate with your man  there is really a problem. there has to be a deeper problem within you him, and the relationship that isn’t being addressed. Do some clear communication with him and some internal soul-searching to try to make things more clearer to you.

But, like I always say I’m just a blogger with flaws myself…

I said my small piece. Jump in! What do you think about this letter

Write in with ANY question for Open Friday at fromashy2classy@gmail.com

If you haven’t make sure you check out this weeks episodes of the “Straight Outta Lo Cash” Radio Show. This week’s show “Ho, Ho, Ho, Petrino!”.You can also subscribe to the show on I-Tunes or listen on your Android, I-Phone, I-Pad or Black berry of Stitcher Radio.

There are so many reasons that a woman can be beautiful from the walk in her step, body, intelligence, and presence. My whole series War of the Beauty tries to tackle the idea of beauty. The one thing that is attractive to men that sometimes gets lost in the shuffle is a woman who really knows their hip hop. I mean REALLY KNOWS IT! This week’s guest post comes from Lincoln Blades (@lincolnablades) the writer of one of my personal favorite blogs This is Your Conscience. Check him out this week as he writes about a woman who knows hip hop being one of the sexiest things.

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Obviously when choosing a significant other, we initially start by quantifying the depth of our physical, mental, emotional and spiritual connection to that person and hep everything checks out. After that, we start to analyze the VARIABLES that also help to encompass our attraction to that person. Some of these variables can be anything from material, superficial things such as what kind of car they drive, what their salary is and how well they dress. But some of the variables are also INTANGIBLE, such as their sense of humour, their optimism or even their taste in music. For me, a tried-and-true HIP HOP HEAD, there’s one thing [that very few women I find have] that can make a slightly above-average girl, a damn DIMEPIECE in my eyes: She’s a knowledgeable Hip-Hop head.

Now first let me define Hip-Hop head: This is someone who is, or previously was, completely emerged in the music of hip-hop to the point that it is [or was] a large and important part of their everyday life, from their fashion sense to their common sense [see what I did there? Hip-hop heads will].

I have been an active participant in Hip-Hop culture since 1990, and I got a stack of The Source & Rap Pages magazines in my basement to prove it. I still got my “Enter The 36 Chambers”, “Illmatic” and “Ready To Die” cassettes in my cabinet, right next to my “Midnight Marauders“, “Wrong Side Of Da Tracks”, and “Riders Of The Storm: The Underwater Album” tapes. I will intensely argue with ANYONE on how the the original Crooklyn Dodgers would beat the SH*T out of the Return Of The Crooklyn Dodgers in a lyrical battle any day of the week – unfortunately the BRUNT of these convo’s are had with big, frowsy, loud-mouthed DUDES – so when a FEMALE hip hop head comes along, it’s a pleasant surprise, and if she’s KNOWLEDGEABLE [obviously along with her other positive traits] it’s just a BIG DAMN TURN-ON.

See, here’s the truth ladies: Most men really DON’T respect your taste in Hip-Hop as a collective gender. Let’s not dance around it. Most men feel like women don’t know SH*T about what we label “real” Hip-Hop and we believe that y’all will support any SONG from some baby face-having negro with a popular R&B singer on the hook. Is it ignorant? Probably. Is it completely untrue? Unfortunately NOT. [Sorry ladies, but Lil' Zane's career is on Y'ALL]. So when we meet a woman who defies our preconceived notions, it’s hard to not find her incredibly attractive, because we wonder how much the uniqueness of her mindset transfers over into other parts of her life, outside of music. It’s like this:

Guys, picture you meet a woman at the gym who looks like this:

She’s beautiful, nice, has a sweet-ass voice and a great sense of humour. So as you guys are leaving, you walk her to her car, exchange numbers and as she gets in and  starts it up, her radio blares on and Black Moon’s “Who Got Da Props” comes on. While you are there shocked [and slightly wondering if her brother left his old CD in her car] you say “damn, nice tunes” to which she replies, without missing a beat, “Yeah I love these guys! Too bad ‘For The People’ was such a disappointment! Anyways, text me later!”

Bruh, I wouldn’t blame you if your first text to her was “will you marry me?”

This Is Your Conscience

ThisIsYourConscience.com writer Lincoln Anthony Blades is starting a podcast on Sunday, May 13th called R&B: Relationships & BULLSH*T, which can be heard directly on his site.

Related articles

• Dear Hip Hop,…Will You Speak Out for Trayvon? (ashy2classy.net)
• The New Masculinity: Redefining Ourselves, Emerging From Our Cocoons (racialicious.com)
• CIMM Fest Uprising: Hip-Hop & The LA Riots (massfrequency.org)
• How A T.I. Concert Showed Me Why I Can’t Go to Most Rap Concert (ashy2classy.net)
• Where is the In-between? We’re Either NIGGAZ or KINGS…BITCHES or QUEENS(ashy2classy.net)

A few weeks ago I was having a conversation with DJ Ay Eye (@ay_eye) and we were talking about hip hop in 2012. He said something that stuck out to me that seems to be across the board the aim of life. He said to me that most hip hop/rap artists don’t care anything about the money they really on care about the Fame. I sat back and thought about his statement and it may be something that has validity to it. Think about it the music industry on a mainstream level is a dead industry walking so if a person is so much about” money” as many rappers proclaim than why would they get into the rap game now. It all comes back to….FAME! The concept becomes something we begin to see across the board when it comes to many of our lives. We live to have FAME instead living for success and fulfillment. Some of us simply just want to be known and have no other aspirations besides being someone people talk about or want to talk to.

Society since the beginning of time has been one of people wanting some form of recognition for accomplishing something. We all want to be known for something among our peers and those we respect within our communities. Are you really looking for success and fulfillment or do you just want the FAME? Most people will say they will take money or success over fame but do we really act in such a way.  Many of us scrounge for the opportunity to just be known at any cost (Look at YouTube and reality TV) but do we really look to understand the process to achieve success?

I do not like the man who squanders life for fame; give me the man who living makes a name. -Emily Dickinson

There are so many people I have seen are engulfed in the fame of being someone to other people. Women aim to be as Tank called a “Star’s Girl” and men want to be considered in the 90s what we called a Big Willie even if their success doesn’t measure to their bravado. Just because you are famous doesn’t mean you have accomplished anything. You can be known just because you are out there but does that really mean you have achieved success? Now I am not into the game of quantifying what someone else success is and what they should consider success. For some people being famous is success but what happens when your 5 minutes of fame is gone is your life worth nothing without the fame? You can say you care about success and fulfillment more but do your actions in life align with working towards success or  are the linear with the idea that you want fame? Fame is something easily attainted from just a few happenstance situations while success is something that is a combination of hard work, a few things breaking your way, and making some good decisions.

This is the thing about success it isn’t just within a financial situation it is the ability to see something you dreamed come to fruition.  For instance success for you may need that you get your children through college, help building a community, or writing a book. The thing is that most of those things can give you solace at night that you accomplished. I am not also naive to the idea that some people’s idea of success can be making it rain weekly at Magic City, being the new member Basketball Wives or Love and Hip Hop, or even the newest edition to World Star Hip Hop lore.  Are those things going to mean a damn 10, 20 years from now or will you just become a very small footnote of the past? While having some measurable amount of meaningful success will mean that you not only affected your life but those around you.

The thing I have found that the more you stay to who you are that success will happen and with success will come fame.  Ask your self are you about that fame life or looking for success? If you are all about that fame life it can only hold you down for so long because you can only be “that dude” or the “it chick” for so long because time and age is the only thing we can’t control. Remember an old fool was once a young fool.

The talent of success is nothing more than doing what you can do well, and doing well whatever you do without thought of fame. If it comes at all it will come because it is deserved, not because it is sought after. -Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

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Last year, I was able to attend the great Blogging While Brown 2011 conference in Los Angles. I had a great time and got to connect with so many other writers of color. While I was out there I was also honored to win 2011 Black Weblog Award for Best Culture Blog. This year I was asked to be a speaker at the 2012 conference in Philadelphia! I will be speaking on the panel “The Brothers of Blogging”. The conference is going to be on June 2-4. It definitely is a conference I suggest you make it out to not only to see me but see a plethora of other great writers and bloggers.

Learn More about Blogging While Brown

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Today, if you weren’t under a rock, in a coma, or trapped in China, you probably know the film that has been talked about for over a year will finally be hitting theaters….”Think Like a Man”.

First off, I will fully admit that when I heard this film was coming out I rolled my eyes and wanted to throw myself down a flight of stairs.  I really wasn’t feeling the premise of the book “Act Like a Lady, Think Like A Man”.  Now I had nothing against Steve Harvey, but I just didn’t feel his book  furthered the relationship dynamic. And as a film connoisseur I thought to myself… “Damn, here we go with another lazy storyline.” The interesting thing is that the more I saw about the film over the next year I began to think that maybe, just maybe, this film may not be as bad as I originally thought.

I am going to give you Five Reasons (especially for the fellas) you may want to check out “Think Like A Man.”

Surprising Reviews

I was reading an article the other day that the film received a 98% approval rating among test viewers in the screeners for the film. I understand that those screeners can be skewed, but a 98% is still a 98%. Then even my people over at Shadow and Act  said the move was a lot better than they thought as well. Now, if any of you know how the people over at Shadow and Act get down you know they keep it thorough and real when it comes to their reviews.

Kevin Hart

If you look at the previews you will see that Kevin Hart stands out tremendously from all the  cast members of “Act Like a Man”. I mean seriously, this dude is mad funny. Everything he touches now is a comedy jewel. If you have ever seen any of his Chocolate Droppa battle raps or his standup you will see why this dude is running and winning with the comedy torch.

Megan Good

Everyone knows my admiration for her (See my proposal on Megan Good).  And I know a lot of other brothers are on the same tip, so this point should be self-explanatory.

It’s Just a Romance Comedy

I’m not gonna front – I can come off as a film and music snob (As my Straight Outta Locash Cohort calls me a Negroacci). I’ve begun to appreciate films for what they are, instead of imposing some deep esoteric meaning into it. “Think Like a Man” is just a romantic comedy that’s displaying people of color. There was nothing wrong with “When Harry met Sally”, “He’s Just Not That Into You, and “Friends With Benefits.”

Feminine Energy

This last point is for the fellas, but ladies you can read long…

Think about this fellas – you get a free, EASY, night out with this film. You have a woman you’re in a relationship with (or trying to get with. WHY NOT take her to see this film. In general, women love romance films (and Michael Ealy) and a woman may want to check this out with a YOU. If any of you fellas are like me, I love to have that feminine energy around, especially if it is a woman you’re feeling.

Do I know how the film is going to be? Nah, I don’t. But I’m sure my reasons at least made you think about seeing “Think Like A Man”.

 If you haven’t make sure you check out this weeks episodes of the “Straight Outta Lo Cash” Radio Show. This week’s show “Are We Free If We Can’t Sing About Chicken?” You can also subscribe to the show on I-Tunes or listen on your Android, I-Phone, I-Pad or Black berry of Stitcher Radio.

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 If you haven’t make sure you check out this weeks episodes of the “Straight Outta Lo Cash” Radio Show. This week’s show “Are We Free If We Can’t Sing About Chicken?” You can also subscribe to the show on I-Tunes or listen on your Android, I-Phone, I-Pad or Black berry of Stitcher Radio.

I have always said that if we don’t follow our dreams that our lives will becoming an ever walking nightmare. When going after your dreams and destiny have you ever correlated that to Micheal Jackson? This weeks guest post is going to be from a very good friend of mine Jennifer Covington( @sunshinebuilder) of Destiny Discoveries and she is going to show you how the great one Micheal Jackson taught us through his music about our dreams and destiny.

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You see them on TV, you read about them, maybe you know them; People living the life of their dreams who are walking in their Destiny. You think to yourself,

“Can that ever be me!?”

Well, I’m here to tell you, YES, it most definitely can. There are really a few simple things you can do that will take you from living a modern day nightmare, to living the life you’ve always dreamed of. I know that sounds hard to believe, but it’s true. To help me illustrate my point, I will use the wise words from none other than the King of Pop himself, Michael Jackson.

6 Lessons from Michael Jackson on going from Dream to Destiny

1) Start. Something.

In the words of the late and great Michael Jackson:

“I Said You Wanna Be Startin’ Somethin’

You Got To Be Startin’ Somethin’

I Said You Wanna Be Startin’ Somethin’

You Got To Be Startin’ Somethin’”

So true MJ! Many people set an intention and then never make a move on it. I’ve talked to countless people who say they want to write a book, yet never write! They say to themselves, “I’m not a good writer so, *shoulder shrug * it’s no use”. That thinking is backwards. How do you expect to become a better writer if you don’t practice? You have to start somewhere. Start a journal, start a blog, start a rough draft, whatever you do, Start. Something!

I’m a fan of making goals and I’m a huge believer in taking Baby Steps, to get there. You can set any goal you can image, you really can, and then say to yourself,  “What do I need to do Today, that will get me closer to my goal Tomorrow?”, Then Do It! Your goal won’t come into fruition over night, but if you Start Something Today, you will be rewarded in the future.

2) Put in Work

As His Majesty once stated: You gotta be “Workin’ Workin’ Day And Night”

That’s right, WORK! In this digital age of convenience some of us have gotten La-zy.  Moreover, when we talk about “living our dream life” some of us think of chillin’ and relaxin’ for the rest of our days. It’s not quite like that. To make your dreams come true you have to Work for it. Sure, it can lead to chillin, maxin and relaxin, but first comes the work. Right now, we live in a 9 to 5 type of society. With the economic crisis going on right now that’s changing, however, because the 9 to 5ers rule supreme, you’re going to have to work double, maybe even triple time to make your dream a reality. If that means coming home from your 9 to 5, breakin’ bread with the fam, spending an hour or two of quality time with them, then working on your dream, so be it. TV might have to take a backseat for awhile, the phone, twitter, Sleep, can’t all be a priority for you. If you have to wake up at 3 or 4 in the morning to get a jump start on dream life, before you have to go off to the j.o.b., then you gotta do what you gotta do.

I started writing this post at 3:50 am. Why? Because even though I’m living my dream life I still have to make time for the things I want. I want to write, I want a successful blog, I want to live on the beach, I want to continue working with kids in different countries and I want to continue to travel. I’m living that right now, and I still have to hustle. The difference is, I’m hustling doing what I love, while others are hustling making big corporations bigger. Which would you rather spend your efforts on?

My point is you have to work! If you are looking for Easy Street, then I don’t know how to help you, but if you are willing to set your goals, Create time to achieve them, Work Day and Night to make it happen, you will be well rewarded!

3) A Higher Power Has Your Back

Michael knew it and now you should too: “You Are Not Alone…”

Whew, what a relief. I just told you, no more TV and sleep and now you’re feeling antsy, I bet. Well the good news is, “You are not alone”! Isn’t that such a load off? I don’t know what you believe in, but most of us believe in a Higher Power. Whether you can call it God, The Universe, The Light, Buddah, Allah, or Guardian Angels or something else, it doesn’t really matter. The point is, we are Spiritual Beings having a Human Experience. What does that mean? That we connected to something bigger than what we can physically see.

This is important to keep in mind when you set out on your journey of walking in your destiny. People will look at your funny, your family will say you’re not being smart, your tummy will do nervous flips and you may feel like you’re out on a limb by yourself. This is when it’s good to commune with your Higher Power to remind yourself that you have a powerful force on your side that is Greater than any human being you know, more Knowledgeable than even the most intellectual philosopher and is Pulling for your success more than your best friend ever could. Knowing that “You Are Not Alone” can make all difference between whether you stay the course or you give up. You Are Not Alone!

4) Persevere!

The Gloved One was all over this idea when he told us: “Keep On With The Force Don’t Stop; Don’t Stop ‘Till You Get Enough”

Keep on the with The Force! I know that’s Right, MJ! The Force is the passion pulling you to your goal, The Force is the inner voice that is gelling you, you can do it “Don’t Stop”. For our purposes “Till You Get Enough” is reaching your goal. That is  different than, “don’t stop until you’ve had enough”, which is what most people do. In  fact the main difference between people living the life of their dreams and the people who merely exist is that the people living their dreams push through that moment when they’ve had enough and can’t go anymore. That’s when you go from unexceptional to excellence.

In Chris Guillebeau‘s Book “The Art of Non-Conformity” he states that, “Intelligence is not a prerequisite, but determination is”. I just love that because sometimes people feel they are not qualified to start a new career path, begin a new project or be the trailblazer of something new. However, I am here to tell you that you are enough, and if you are going after a passion you will have enough heart to carry you through.

Another great quote by former U.S. President Calvin Coolidge is “Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not: nothing is more common than unsuccessful people with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is quite common. Education alone will not; the world is full of educated failures. Persistence and Determination alone are the all-powerful elements.”

Now, please note that education has a very big role in all of this for me, it’s important and is a part of the perseverance. I’m not saying, in order to pursue your dream of being a Trapeze artist you should just join the circus and tell them “I got this, don’t worry”, thinking you have the perseverance to go the distance, but not the education. No, that’s going about it all wrong. Educating yourself is a big part of your perseverance. You’re going to have to study up, educate yourself and experience first. You’re going to fall down a lot, make mistakes and risk looking stupid. THAT is when your determination has to kick in. The quotes above, however, are helpful for those people who sit too paralyzed in the fear of not knowing enough to even start the project. If you don’t know enough now, Learn, Practice, Experience and whatever you do Keep Going and Don’t Stop, until you’ve reached your goal.

5) Follow Your Bliss & Have Fun

When Michael was just a teenager singing with the Jackson 5 he knew the most important part of the journey was to: “Enjoy Yourself”

I’ve hit you with a lot of stuff today, but if you take only one tidbit away from this post, please let it be this “Enjoy yourself”, Follow your Bliss and Have Fun. That’s the whole point of life. Usually when we have a dream of “winning the lottery”, “living on the beach” or “retiring early”, all of those things to us say: Happiness.

That’s what we’re all in search of. We just want to be happy. So do the things that make you happy and let that be your guide. If you’re not happy in your situation start filling your day with more and more things that make you happy and at the same time begin eliminating the things that don’t. That might sound impractical but really it’s THE way to live. When you look at those people living the life of their dreams, I’m telling you that’s exactly what they’ve done. When you’re spending the majority of your week doing something you can’t stand and limit you joy to only the weekends, you don’t fulfilled by that, you feel frustrated by that. It seems unfair that only a limited amount of time is spent doing the things you love, or that you have to spend so much time doing something you don’t like to get just a tiny bit of what you enjoy. That’s not the way to live. You can like what you are doing all the time if you follow your bliss and get rid of the things that are bringing you down.

So, “Enjoy yourself, Enjoy yourself, Enjoy yourself with me”, because when we’re all doing what we love, the World is a much happier place to live in.

I hope through these words you have found some encouragement to go after your dreams and begin walking in your Destiny, because the world will be a far better place when we are living the lives according to what we desire and what makes us happy.

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The internet has brought up the ability to listen and hear from people that we never may have been able to hear 10 years ago. The draw back of the internet that it some how diluted music to the point where any AND anyone thinks they can do it. We are inundated with all kinds of music and it seems more and more great music is pushed to the edge of our musical consciousness. Music has a lot to do with the vibrations of who we are and how we move and live our lives. People ask me all the time what I am rocking on my IPOD and have even put me on new artists (You can hit me on twitter @diggame and email fromashy2classy@email.com). I decided to once again highlight some R&B and Soul Artists that you need to check out especially in the confusing and cluttered landscape of music now. I highlighted 20 great artists in 10 Underrated R&B Soul Artists You Should Know About and then 10 More Underrated R&B Soul Artists You Should Know About and now sit back and learn about 10 more artists I think you should definitely know about.

Robert Glasper

Robert Glasper is a jazz and soul pianist from Houston who came onto the scene in 2003 with his debut album “Mood”. He would continue to drop great jazz albums and then in 2009 compiled a few other musicians and made a group called The Robert Glasper Experiment. The new album Black Radio is seriously one of the best albums of the year. The album includes appearances from Lalah Hathaway to Mos Def on the album it has stayed in heavy rotation for me.

The Robert Glasper Experiment feat. Bilal and Lupe Fiasco- Always Shine

Leela James

Funny story about Leela James is that a woman I used to date friend like JUST like her but, I will say that I know her voice didn’t have as much soul and grit to it as James. Leela born in LA came onto the scene with her debut Album A Change is Gonna Come in 2005. She has a sound that gives you a feeling like you attended a back alley café in Chicago during in 1972.

Leela James- Tell Me You Love Me

Jesse Boykins III

You may have heard him before on another artist’s album I featured in the first edition of this series Foreign Exchange on the song “Don’t Make Me a Fool”. Boykins born in the Chi and raised in Miami has a sound that is somewhat in an electronic and funk mood. He has produced music since his limitedly released debut album Dopamine: My Life On My Back EP and anticipated new LP “Love Apparatus” coming out this year.

Jesse Boykins III- Before The Night is Thru

Jeff Bradshaw

Many times when someone things of Jazz and soul music they don’t really think about the trombone too much. Well, Jeff Bradshaw is changing that up with his flavorful and funk brand. Bradshaw is a former member of Jill Scott’s band and a contributor to the ever popular Unwrapped Jazz series from Hidden Beach Recordings. Jeff dropped his first solo album Bone Deep in 2001 but, it is new album Bone Appétit dropping this month that people are really salivating over appearances from Raheem Devaughn to Marsha Ambrosius.

Jeff Bradshaw feat Marsha Ambrosius and Tywse- Got Til It’s Gone

Idle Warship

A union between hip hop icon Brooklyn’s own Talib Kweli and underrated songstress from Philly, Res. The group has doing music on each other’s projects since 2000 but decided to make this music union a group in 2008. Idle Warship is a mix of funk, electronica, and hip hop all in fused between the flow of Talib Kweli and melodic voice of Res. They finally dropped a full length release Habits of the Heart last year.

Idle Warship- Laser Beams

Amel Larrieux

Many of you may remember the group Groove Theory that compromised of Bryce Wilson and the beautiful Amel  Larrieux that had a string of hits in the mid to late 90s. Well, after the group parted ways Amel kept doing her thing dropping four successful albums including her critically acclaimed first album Infinite Possibilities. She was even nominated for a Grammy for her sensual love song “For Real” in 2004. The New York born songbird is rumored to be getting back with Bryce Wilson and rekindling that groove Theory torch but that isn’t keeping her from dropping another solo album this year called Ice Cream Every Day.

Amel Larrieux- Weary

Adriana Evans

I remember first hearing about Adriana Evans because she was one of the few R&B artists signed to Loud Records in the mid 90s and from being on the unheralded track from Dred Scott “Check the Vibe”.  Her first album  which was self-titled was something that many music fans have definitely slept on. Adriana has produced great music since the late 90s and has been a hit international especially since she relocated to Brazil and incorporated more of an African sound.

Adriana Evans- Love is All Around

Childish Gambino

Childish Gambino is comedian and writer Donald Glover’s alias which I got from going to a Wu-Tang Clan name generator website. Glover’s sound is something that average black nerdy kid can get into. It is hip hop in its essence but has a lot of soul, energy, and emotion in his music. His newest project Camp takes the listener on a personal journey of an introspective and sometimes awkward person (such as myself) goes through.

Childish Gambino-Heartbeat

Bilal

I remember when I was in undergrad women were in love with Bilal’s first single “Soul Sista”. Bilal’s first album was  one of the most unknown yet known albums of that time. But, it seemed like he fell off because he hadn’t had a studio release in almost 10 years. Collaborating with Common, Talib Kweli, Beyonce, Jay-Z,  to Dr. Dre he kept busy. His sound was so captivating that he was able to tour until his newest album Air Tight Release was finally released in 2010.

Bilal- Is This Love?

Coultrain

I am not talking about the iconic Jazz musician John Coltrane but I am talking about the native St. Louis singer. Coultrain came from a big collective music movement that St. Louis had called Soul Tyde that had more members in it than Wu-Tang Clan. Coultrain has a sound that gives you the vibe of the late Donny Hathaway. Coultrain has been on the underground scene nationally and internationally and had many critics loved his Coultrain is Seymour Liberty Project.

Coultrain w/ The Sureshot Symphony Solution-Chair on the Ceiling

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If you haven’t make sure you check out this weeks episodes of the “Straight Outta Lo Cash” Radio Show. This week’s show “Megan, Ciara, and Macy…Will You Marry Us?” You can also subscribe to the show on I-Tunes or listen on your Android, I-Phone, I-Pad or Black berry of Stitcher Radio.

This week a reader asks my thoughts on First date etiquette and a persons expectations in the beginning of dating. Of course I try to give my opinion on it and urge you to jump in on another Open Friday!

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Dear D,

I had a conversation the other day with a guy I know. He was ranting to me about how when he goes on first dates a women shouldn’t order an appetizer or multiple drinks. And if she does, she should pay for it. My response was if that is something I normally do, why should I “budget” for a date with you. I should be able to be myself so there are no surprises later.

He went on to explain how he looked at first dates as an interview. He said it was “business”. He also compared it to poker, saying you never go all in on the first hand. I said we would never work…

What are your thoughts?

Your question honestly really has no concrete answer but more aligned with a person’s philosophy on life. I don’t see a problem with him wanting to have the first date be care free and just conversational. I even took some flak for saying that 1^st dates should be under 40 bucks. But, let’s keep it real over blown expectations are the probably the biggest flaw us humans have. There has to be a fair balance between those expectations and reality. One has to constantly have both of those sides of the game in check. This is because we can entrap ourselves in a fantasy laden prison or a solitary confinement of reality that we can’t see anything better in people. Just like in poker or in a dice game you have to understand the cards given(reality) and understand what you want or need(expectations).

Now I will say this though I am not the kind of brotha who knows if I take a woman to a certain place I have to expect how much the tab will be. I am not going to put myself in a situation of where I am going somewhere I don’t want to be paying for. I am not one to relegate like “Ay you can only order from that side of the menu.” Then on the other hand a woman shouldn’t just be going hard on a brotha just because he is taking her out either. There should be decorum and respect on both sides. I suggest a brother be upfront about what he thinks or wants to do. A brotha can’t be taking a lady to Wolfgang Pucks and hoping she will get full on the bread. If you are comfortable with taking the woman to that place go ahead and do it but don’t expect her to act to your blueprint.

The idea of life being a Poker game does have validity to it but, not to the extent that your friend was saying. A person should be as authentically who they are  so someone should know who they are. But, at the same time there has to be a respect level shown as well. For instance, if you only order the appetizers off the menu when YOU are paying for it, why should the game change-up just because YOU aren’t paying for it? What if that said man had the fanatical expectations towards you about when he was going to HIT?

The idea of balance those expectations of what you as a woman or man wants and what the reality of the situation I believe will make our choices in relationships somewhat clearer. Many times we make choices on mates and or in dating because of one of those ideals being too thrown off kilter. Someone can also look at the situations such as this as them not being on the page (which very well maybe true) because they didn’t meet our expectations or didn’t share our reality. But, how long will you let your expectations destroy your reality? How long will you let your reality destroy your expectations?

Chime in! What do you think?

Write in with ANY question for Open Friday at fromashy2classy@gmail.com

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I have written and spoke about how people need to really start supporting movements particular in film and TV that will display a more balanced view of the African-American perspective(see “It Aint All Tyler Perry Fault” and Tired of What’s on Tv? Peep out these 5 Webseries). I decided to put my money and my pen where my pen where my mouth is and start to highlight different up and coming projects that are worth being donated to on Kick starter, Indiegogo, etc.. I will not just be highlighting African-American produced films but I do want to support quality projects in general. If you are interested in having your project highlighted in this new segment shoot me an email to fromashy2classy@gmail.com.

What is Kickstarter you may ask?

Kickstarter is a crowd funding website for creative projects. Kickstarter has funded a diverse array of endeavors, ranging from indie films, music and comics to journalism, video games and food-related projects.

In this first edition of Push…Kick I will be highlighting the San Francisco Black Film Festival(SFBFF). There are many Black Film fesitvals all across the country from Tribeca to the American Black Film Festival. San Francisco hosts one as well every year. Learn some more about the SFBFF…

The San Francisco Black Film Festival (SFBFF) will celebrate its 13th anniversary June 17-19, 2011.

The San Francisco Black Film Festival was founded with the artistic vision to provide a platform for Black filmmakers, screenwriters, and actors to present their art. As a competitive film festival, SFBFF identifies filmmakers, screenwriters, and actors that are emerging as talents and established artists who are contributing to the cinematic legacy of African Americans. SFBFF conscientiously expands the notions of “Black film-making” to a global perspective. Hence, film submissions are accepted worldwide from filmmakers and screenwriters who are of African descent or feature actors representing the African Diaspora. SFBFF is managed by a dedicated advisory board of 15 artists, business people, film industry and other professionals

SFBFF has presented 12 annual festivals featuring over 1100 films including features, documentaries, and shorts. Audiences, film submissions, community and business support have steadily grown over the years. In 2002, the Urban Kidz Festival was added to provide young people between the ages of 5-12 the opportunity to view films created by African Americans geared toward young people and their families, and we are looking forward to presenting it again this year!

The mission of the San Francisco Black Film Festival is to celebrate African American cinema and the African cultural Diaspora and to showcase a diverse collection of films – from emerging and established filmmakers. This is accomplished by presenting Black films, which reinforce positive images and dispel negative stereotypes, and providing film artists from the bay area in particular and around the world in general, a forum for their work to be viewed and discussed. SFBFF believes film can lead to a better understanding of and communication between, peoples of diverse cultures, races, and lifestyles, while simultaneously serving as a vehicle to initiate dialogue on the important issues of our times.

From its modest beginnings in 1998 with $3,000 in funding, SFBFF has grown from a one-day event with an audience of 300 to an five day multiple venue cultural celebration drawing thousands of people. Comprised of film screenings, panel discussions, hands-on workshops, the Urban Kidz film series, opening and closing programs, and the Melvin Van Peebles Award ceremony, which recognizes an emerging filmmaker for risk taking.

An early proponent of the global perspective, the festival has always been ahead of its time. Long before popular culture paid lip service to ‘going global’, we were walking the walk, presenting global motifs and topics from filmmakers around the world.

Check out more of the San Francisco Black Film Festival at www.sfbff.org/ and Go over and support their KickStarter Campaign(here).

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Yesterday it was announced that the growing popular App for I-Phones and Android phones Instagram was recently purchased by Mark Zuckerberg and Facebook for around 1 BILLION dollars. That’s right 1 Billion Dollars!! The popular photo sharing Smart Phone application was created by Kevin Systrom and Mike Krieger. The more amazing thing about this story is that Systrom and Krieger built this in all in TWO YEARS! The week before we had the case of everyone and their mama (And I mean that literally everyone and their mama if you saw any of the lines) was buying a MegaMillions lottery ticket.  Lines were wrapped around any place that had a cash register and a Lottery printing machine. The MegaMillions was estimated to be somewhere around 656 million dollars.

When I saw the Instagram story I felt that it was ironic that both of these occurrences happening within weeks of each other. We had a tale of getting rich overnight by “luck” (I mean that in every facet that look could mean) and two people coming up with a great idea and working that idea to a successful fruition. There is a lesson to be learned from both cases of and the biggest lesson is that Instagram is better for our lives than talking about MegaMillions.

Instagram was a photo app it wasn’t nothing that special of an idea. Anyone could have come up with the idea but the difference is somewhere along the line they believed in the vision of Instagram to go hard after it.  If you read their story you will find that the creators bounced around and worked on many ideas and out themselves in position to sell their App for 1 billion dollars. I have written before that there is a “Myth of Rags to Riches” but a lot of that has to do with our own mindset and what we can believe we can make happen.

Then on the other hand look at the at the case of Mirlande Wilson, the Baltimore County women who has claimed for over a week she has had a winning ticket. She supposedly went into a lottery pool with her co-workers at McDonald’s and shafted them by not sharing the ticket winnings with them. She has been going on an Award Tour like A Tribe Called Quest, doing interviews and even a press conference to talk about the ticket.  The whole situation with Mirlande Wilson is like a very bad night Friday Night BET Cinema. Let’s keep it real this woman from her actions and attention whoring is more than likely more likely to end up like the 1000s of other lottery winners…broke in 10 years

I look at the concept of winning the lottery as problematic for a person wanting to reach their full potential. Now I am no fool if someone dropped off 10 million dollars to me I would take it with the quickness, but I know that EVERYTHING in life comes at a price whether we want to believe it or not.  People lined up for hours waiting for a chance at winning the millions of dollars.  Before I get started I want to first say I really get it! The idea of hitting it rich overnight and changing one’s life in a matter of seconds is something that almost anyone would want. I saw people Tweeting, Facebooking, and writing, for days about what they would do with the money. People had elaborate plans of what they would do with the money. Think of what we could if we took the time to plan and execute our purpose or success? Why is it that we can believe in the idea of winning lottery so much but fail to believe in ourselves that much?

Keep in mind that the big lottery argument in Baltimore with all of this hoopla is over money that NO ONE has worked for. I know one can argue about the idea of that most a lot of people with success didn’t necessarily work for it either. And once again I totally get that and believe the statement as having validity to it. But, which one is more likely to happen and put our energy into: the lottery or our own personal worth? I admit I was tempted to buy a lottery ticket (“You Have to be In It to Win It Right?”) but the more I thought about it I decided I didn’t want to buy a ticket. Call me crazy but I didn’t want to build my legacy on the idea of me making my millions on a whim. I want to be an example to my future children and grandchildren about how staying focused, working hard, and following my purpose got my family to where they are.

Think of what I am saying in terms of the Chinese Proverb:

 “If you give a man a fish, you feed him for a day. If you teach a man to fish, you feed him for a life time”.

I think that Instagram’s purchase gives all of us a reason to want to find that think that will take our life or purpose to that next level. I am a firm believer in the power of doing and NOT trying. If that is so, how can you do the lottery? One can only try but some one can DO something like Instagram. At the end of the day Instagram being bought for 1 Billion should give you another reason to believe that your odds are better going hard after your dreams than wishing/hoping you win the LOTTERY!

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